Yeah. Violent Is What I've Become.

Many of my friends are worried about me because of what I've become. I've taken a turn for the worse, going from a kid with a rough exterior but was pretty much a big teddy bear on the inside to a kid who could give a shit less about what happens to him. I've become violent, to the point of where I am hurting my friends and not giving a damn. One of my friends is so scared of me that she's afraid that I'm going to hit her, she's even afraid that I'm going to say anything to her. Another one of my friends is also worried about me, too. They've all noticed a change in me. Kai, I think that you might be one of them, right. I don't know what to do. And I know most of you don't give a fuck about what I am saying.

Hey... we do care. And don't say that we don't. It hurts when you say that we don't care. But, she's right. You have become a lot more aggressive lately. To everyone. I mean, we've never gotten into a real argument before. It always used to be just games and we knew we were just messing around. But for the past few days, it's like you and I can't have a normal conversation anymore. All we do is yell at each other. And you've been hitting us more often too. I was so suprised when she told me that you hit her. I mean, you hitting me is a natural occurence, but her? I was shocked. And your hits have definitely become a lot rougher/harder. I don't think it's the training you've been doing either. I took training for a long time and still never punched harder than I usually did when I was teasing someone. I always knew just how much strength to hold back. And I'm sure you do to. But... they do hurt. Even when you hit me now, it really hurts.

I'm not sure what advice to give. Like she said, we have no idea what's changing you. And it looks like you don't either. Just... please watch yourself around the others. Try not to hit at all if you can help it and think of what your saying to whom before you say it. That's all I can think of that will help you besides counseling.

You know we care for you. And if you need any help, we'll be right here. So don't just shove us away, alright? We want to be there for you.

and your also not the only one who has become more aggresive of late i have been a hell of alot more aggresive i think it just happens in some people but just try fighting it hard because thts all about you can do.

Thanks Kai. You're a great pal and a great person to talk to. Both you and Melissa. If either of you have a problem with me again, just tell me or give me a little hug. That seemed to calm me down last time. Thanks for telling me. I've gotten careless with how hard I've hit you guys. I should learn to take more of my anger out on the weight bag. You guys are the type of friends anyone could ask for. I'll try to keep control of myself from now on, but if I lose control, then I'm sorry.

And thanks CH. I'll try fighting it as best as I can.

i'm just glad we're on good terms again. really. this has definitely made my (shitty) day a whole lot better. thank you.

glad i could help

ok, i don't kno u that well, but ima try to help... if u still need it, that is

ok, listen... some people DO jsut get more aggresive. and they don't understand it. and noone else does either.

but it can definitly be stopped, or controlled, if u are against it. your willpower is always ur strongest weapon agaisnt urself.

try to see if you're more EMOTIONALLY aggresive. if u sjut get mad more, and w/e. from what K said, it looks like u do. so... jsut try to isolate WHY u get mad. if u can figure that out, u can jsut try to understand what amkes u mad more. like, if ur parents make u mad, try to see it from their perspective.

and... listen to your friends. i don't know about the rest of them, but i do know that K is amazingly good at helpin ppl out.

and if, for some odd reaosn, u need me, just pm me... or get my YIM from K... i'm always willing to help soemone out

god bless,
art

I know you won't listen, but counseling helps. Trust me. And just try to hold it in. Take out your aggression on some activity, like martial arts, or go to the batting cages.

Counselors, psychiatrists, they won't accept me. Too scared. So, I am the way I am. And I take my anger out on the punching bag and on the weights at the gym.

*high five* Awesome.

the punching bag = kai

heh.

i bet u make a nice punching bag lol