all this time and everything's changed, tag: gonzo

[jacqueline kingston]

Jac hardly ever found herself smoking. She drank and fucked and occasionally snorted, but smoking was the one vice she avoided. But after an encounter a few days before, she found her hands shaking and her voice quaking and the girl gnawed at her lip until she decided to run to the store and buy a pack.

They were cheap and way too harsh on her lungs, so when the blonde inhaled from the cigarette, she winced and exhaled almost immediately. Her hands stopped shaking, but her foot bounced uncontrollably as she sat at the bottom step of the stairs, between the fourth and fifth floor. Blue-gray smoke curled around her and she waved at it impatiently, narrowing her eyes against the noxious fumes.

What made her act this way? Well, more like a who. She'd never felt this nervous before, not even before she got her first tattoo, or missed her period once. That had been simple jitters. This was more like an anxiety attack. The matte red lipstick she wore came off on the cigarette filter, and she stared at it long and hard before taking another few quick puffs without inhaling, just tasting the nicotine on her tongue, before dropping the half-finished cigarette to the floor and crushing it with the toe of her pointed, shiny black stiletto.

It was another run-in with Gonzo. She'd been walking down the hall, and spotted the young man walking in the opposite direction. Once they made eye contact, Jac's face went as red as a tomato and Gonzo started running, and he actually hit a pole in the process. The poor thing. It just made Jac feel even worse because now, she was intent on reconciling with her former friend. She was the cause of all the teasing and bullying in high school, when she could have just said yes and it would have never happened. Her stomach turned at the thought of the torment poor Gonzo went through. All because of her. It was hard enough to see him from time to time for the 3 years she'd been at college and not apologizing, but if he was afraid of her or hated her...that would be even worse.

Brushing a strand of hair from her green eyes, she half-turned her head, hearing a set of slow footsteps. Jac realized that she was sitting in the middle of the step, and shifted to one side, to let whoever it was pass her. "Sorry," she muttered softly, lifting her eyes as she rifled through her pocket for some gum. She took a double take, looking back at the figure with a bright red blush. Fuck.

[gonzo mcrae]

falling in love



is so hard on your knees ,

Gonzo had just finished his first class - music history, to be exact - where he had paid absolutely no attention to what he was learning. Sure, on most occasions, he was perfectly attentive in the classes that he actually liked, which included music history. But this time, he found himself completely engulfed in a different world. What was he thinking about, you ask? Was it the tasty donut that he had been craving all week, but simply couldn't get off his ass to go stop by a mini mart and grab a box of Krispy Kremes? No, but he had been wanting a donut for quite some time. It was because he had just seen the most beautiful girl - scratch that, goddess - in the entire world, and instead of finally working up the guts to make a move, he'd ran into the other direction and hit a pole in the process, ending up with a nasty bump on his head (which was covered by his hat, but even though nobody could see it, it still hurt like hell) and a big, black-and-blue mark on his elbow.

But to be honest, every second of pain was worth seeing her green eyes for one second. But that was his problem - he was head-over-heels for the girl, even though he hadn't seen her for years, and he couldn't even get himself to walk in her direction. He was in college now, for Christ's sake. This was the time when he was supposed to start layin' on the charm and put his high school awkwardness behind him. Of course, instead of the magical de-awkwardizing spell that seemed to happen to every other guy the minute he entered college, Gonzo was cursed with a whole new level of awkwardness. And sure, he was fine at first, when he was just waving at pretty girls he saw in the hall and considering asking them for coffee. But when Jac Kingston came into the picture, the small amount of progress he had made completely shattered, bringing him to an all-time low. And to make matters worse, everyone seemed to be making fun of him for having such a crush on Jac Kingston and not even making a move, since it seemed like every other guy in the school had gotten into her pants at least once. But Gonzo, on the other hand, couldn't even fantasize about it without turning a shade of bright red.

In fact, at that point, he felt his face turning hot just thinking about Jac with her clothes on. In fact, they weren't even kissing or flirting in his mind - he was just thinking about how he would bring himself to face her. In fact, even walking in her general direction would be a major accomplishment. So after a moment of hyperventilating and wiping his glasses nervously, he told himself that he would walk past Jac's dorm at one point. Maybe not that second, maybe not even that year, but some day. He stood tall, shoulders back and knees straight, and let a smirk spread across his lips, imagining his dramatic walk through the girl's halls. In fact, maybe she'd even notice him because of his confident look and beg him to take off her clothes. He continued on with this fantasy, his smirk spreading into a wide, Cheshire cat grin, before completely losing focus with reality. However, a second later, he heard someone say 'sorry'. The voice was familiar, and for a second, he thought it was just in his mind. After all, he was having an X-rated fantasy about a girl with the same exact voice as the one he had just heard. But he then looked up, only to see Jac standing right in front of him.

As soon as his eyes met hers, he felt himself losing balance from his 'confident stance', and his legs started wobbling uncontrollably. After a few seconds of flailing his arms to keep himself upright, he felt himself falling backwards, and he ended up at the bottom of the staircase. He took off his glasses and wiped his eyes to recover from the fall for a moment, but as soon as he put his glasses back on, the blurry figure that stood before him transformed into a blonde bombshell. He gulped, his face turning a shade of bright, tomato red once again. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out - just random, breathy gibberish that made it sound like he was having a seizure or a stroke or something. Needless to say, this little encounter completely destroyed his fantasy that he had just been having, and he remembered that he didn't even deserve to imagine having a chance with her. He had absolutely no chance with this gorgeous girl.

[jacqueline kingston]

Letting off a shaky sigh, Jac pushed a lock of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear, glancing around in thought. What would she do if she came face to face with Gonzo? Honestly,the blonde had no idea. Either faint or go mute or simply run away. She didn't want to run, but maybe her nerves would get the best of her. Maybe Gonzo would be upset at her for being the cause for all of the teasing. Maybe he would condemn her for her partying ways and never even consider forgiveness. Jacqueline shuddered at the thought, glancing at the mess of cigarette butts on the floor from the students who congregated here to smoke a number of things.

And there were the stupid, useless, undeniable feelings Jac'd gotten when Gonzo transferred. Besides the guilt and shame, there was twinges of pain, not just because she'd lost a friend, but maybe deep down she'd liked him back. Of course, she didn't realize it because she was so focused on the fact that it was weird for someone she related to so much to want to date her, but it was impossible to ignore it. Every guy she'd dated was put against imaginary standards; Was Gonzo sweeter? Was Gonzo more attentive? And the nerdy young man she'd known for so long had always won. Of course, it was crazy to think such thoughts, but they were so damn hard to push away.

And the hormones. Ah, terrible things. Once those started kicking in for Jac, long after Gonzo left, she started thinking racier thoughts about him. She found herself imagining him without clothes, kissing him, fucking him, everything. He was on her mind more often than not and she just found ways to distract herself because it just wasn't healthy to obsess over someone who moved to who knows where and probably hated your guts.

Jac felt the person fall before she heard it. Whoever it was took a tumble and landed right in front of her, before she could even recognize the face from the double take she'd sneaked a second before. Standing up and taking a step forward, she realized who had fallen and her heart flew to her throat. Her vision blurred and she got that funny nauseous feeling she always got when she thought about him. "Gonzo," she breathed, only to be responded to with a bunch of gibberish. Fuck. Did he hit his head? Oh fuck, she'd just die if she made him retarded on top of ruining his life. taking a few steps forward, she decided to grab his upper arm, tugging up on it firmly. "Jesus...are you okay? How many fingers?" she asked, licking her lips and flashing three fingers at him, right in front of his eyes.

[gonzo mcrae]

falling in love



is so hard on your knees ,

Gonzo lay completely still on the floor for a second, too humiliated to get up, let alone say anything. But when he heard Jac say his name, he managed to sit up, though his face was a shade of bright tomato red. When he heard what she said next, he looked at her fingers. Three. But before he could say anything, he found himself looking into her eyes, and he forgot about the situation he was in completely. However, after blinking a few times and getting back into reality for the most part, he cleared his throat, wiping his eyes underneath his glasses. "Uh, three. Three fingers," he managed to say, rubbing the top of his head. Oof, that was gonna leave a mark. But instead of complaining, he simply took it like a man and let out a loud, whiny groan. "I'm okay, I'm alright," he insisted, before managing to get back onto his feet. He was on the verge of scrambling into the other direction once his mind was back on track, but he took a deep breath and stood tall. He was gonna talk to her. He had to. It was his perfect chance, despite the fact that he'd just fallen down the stairs right in front of her.

He threw back his shoulders and smirked with pride, extending his hand toward her. He opened his mouth to speak, but as soon as he heard sound come out of his lips, the nervous feelings he had in the first place returned. "Y--you're J--Jac Kingston, right?" He found himself stuttering, but he knew that he'd already started talking, so he didn't exactly have a choice. "I--I...uh...don't know if you re--remember me, but...uh...I--I'm...uh..." he took a deep breath, convincing himself to tell the gorgeous creature standing in front of him his name. "I'm Gonzo," he said, a smirk of pride spreading across his face. He'd actually finished a sentence! And sure, it was a little sloppy, but if he could introduce himself to her, God knows what else what he could say! Maybe he could even ask her how she was...it was all gold! Oh, God, who was he kidding? He was screwed.

"S--so...uh...how are ya?!" He said, and he was perfectly aware that instead of talking so quietly that he was barely audible like he did in the first place, he was now practically screaming. "D--did you ever finish high school?" He practically punched himself after the second thing he said. Not only was it obvious that she'd graduated, seeing as they were in college, but maybe she would think that he was implying that he thought she was dumb. "I--I mean...how was high school?" He knew that his face was red at this point, and he had a sudden urge to bury his head in his hands. "Uh...c--could you excuse me for a sec?" He said, before walking over to the wall and pounding his head against it. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" He yelped to himself, unaware of the fact that not only was he in Jac's plain sight, but he was talking more than loud enough to hear what he was saying.

[jacqueline kingston]

Breathing a sigh of relief as Gonzo gave her the correct number, Jac loosened her grip on his arm. Better; he was speaking in words now. Sentences would be better, but seeing as he might have a concussion or something, she didn't expect miracles. Letting go of him slowly once he got to his feet, the blonde young woman peered at him carefully. "Careful. Easy," she breathed, eyes wide as she watched him carefully. "I thought for sure you were gonna end up retarded for life. But you might have a concussion. Or a cracked skull," she shrugged, licking her lips nervously. "So...don't take a nap, or you might not wake up," she added, trying to add a smile. Oh God, how creepy.

Glancing down at Gonzo's extended hand, Jac smiled sadly, taking it in her own and shaking it for a few seconds before releasing it. Maybe he had temporary memory loss from the fall. In a way, it would be better for Jac. He wouldn't know anything about what happened in high school, and they could be friends again and maybe even date. But he spoke and this little daydream was shattered. Nodding once, her smile faded, even though he smirked while introducing himself. "Yeah, that's me. I know who you are," she said softly. "Gonzo. We played family when we were little kids. Went to school together," she nodded again. She didn't go on to say what she considered the most important aspect of their history; ruining his life. What else could it be called? He had to change schools. Things must have been pretty bad for him. But he looked good, despite all the teasing. He was still a little thick in the stomach, she saw; but not unattractively, more like adorable.

Forcing a big, fake smile, Jac shrugged. "Considering I was afraid I just turned you into a vegetable, not bad." She wanted to elaborate -- to tell Gonzo how much she regretted rejecting him, that she was pretty sure she loved him, that she wanted more than anything to reconcile -- but that would just be creepy and weird. "Yeah, barely," she nodded, smirking a little up at him. She glanced away at his next question, her cheeks flushing. "It was...different. For a lot of reasons," she shrugged, looking back up to Gonzo. "When you left, things all changed and not for the better," Jac admitted, biting her lip. "And I'm honestly surprised you're having a civil conversation with me considering what I did to you. And that you haven't put a restraining order against me."

"Gonzo, don't," Jac groaned, following the young man over to the wall, grabbing his wrists and pulling him away, into her, before letting him go. "Listen to me, okay?" Licking her lips nervously again, she looked away, growing red in the face. "I'm sorry I said no in high school. I wanted to say yes, because you were my friend and I knew you. And I knew that it would hurt you if I said no. But I freaked out and I'm so sorry, Gonzo. I matured a lot when you left. And I saw what a huge mistake I made." Glancing away, Jac bit her lip. "I understand if you want to hate me forever. I just want you to know that it was the biggest mistake of my life," she nodded, letting his wrists go to step back, expecting Gonzo to walk away.