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 ``m e m o r y lane, quinn's diary
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quinn olivia greene
Posted: Apr 11 2008, 06:22 AM


Junior (T)(F)cheer.
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Group: ` royalty
Posts: 71
Member No.: 43
Joined: 29-March 08
october 14th, 2008
    i had no idea. i swear i didn't. i tell the guy to DUMP HIS GIRLFRIEND.
    how ridiculous can i get? i didn't mean to! i didn't know until
    afterwards, but still. i can't tell him to do what i did to mel just
    because what i did to mel wasn't right. i should have stayed there with
    her. i should have been there for her. she never listened to me
    though. she had no respect for herself; carelessly throwing her life
    away like that-- i can't change her, and i won't try, so i let her go.

    i feel like a sick fool. how stupid was i to think he actually thought of
    me in THAT way?! there i go, blowing things out of proportion and
    keeping my expectations way too high. i really... fell for him. hard.
    and he obviously wouldn't ever DREAM to consider me that way...
    i'm the biggest idiot in the world. what's even worse is i'm actually
    crying. i'm full on devastated. i feel like one of those "mistresses"
    dirty rich fat men have, only he doesn't even care about me. i bet he
    knows. i bet he knows and feels sorry for me so he just talks to me
    anyways. i'm such a joke. lay wouldn't understand, she hates sebby.
    she'd probably go on about hoe much better i am than him, but that's
    really not true at all. i don't deserve him. which is obviously why i don't
    have him. ugh. i'm such a dumbass.

    and so, because i came across like i wanted them to break up i had to
    pretend like i really didn't want them to even though i DID before i
    even knew they were a couple and now...

    i was crying. he didn't know it but i was definitely crying while i tried to
    justify his girlfriend's actions even though i didn't know her, and i even
    tried to convince him to stay with her. i'm such a disgusting hypocrite.
    i left mel in the dust and here i am, preaching to him about his
    girlfriend, saying things i don't even want to say because i don't want
    to be the girl that breaks up a couple because i like the guy, especially
    because i'm pathetic and he doesn't even feel the same way. no, not
    especially, i guess, because i'd never intentionally break up anyone,
    no matter what.

    i'm so confused and hurt. and i did this to myself. i have no one else
    to blame.


--------------------
quinn olivia greene
i know i've been a liar and i know i've been a fool.
i hope we didn't break it, but i'm glad we broke the rules.
my cave is deep now, yet your light is shining through;
i cover my eyes, still all i see is you.
user posted image
[thanks jac!]
at night i dream without you and hope i don't wake up
'cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup.
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