We have a topic in the bar about Myspace.com here but I want to have a more serious discussion. My radio station is railing against it, and I guess something like 27 people were arrested in Long Island because they were going after kids via Myspace.

Now, I know a lot of people here probably have accounts with Myspace (I don't) and that a lot of us aren't parents, though some probably have some sort of parental view on the subject (I know I do, with having several younger cousins). So my questions to you are:

1) Do you think Myspace is safe or should be shut down or something in between?

2) Do you think it's okay for parents to monitor their kids' internet use - including buying programs that record every keystroke someone makes on the computer, so that they can find out passwords and such things?

1. Eh, if not Myspace, they'd find something else. People who want to do wrong don't usually let little things like laws stand in their way in the first place... just because you take away one method of doing things doesn't mean they can't (and won't) find another. I'd say keep what we've got and find better means of patrolling it, just be careful not to trample rights in the process.

2. I hate those things. Granted, some parents might honestly need them, but most of the teens I've known either wouldn't be getting into trouble or would actually wind up rebelling more in a search for freedom. There is a point where parents need to step back a bit (not necessarily all the way just yet) and let their kids have more autonomy. At that point, if you raised your kid well, they'll mostly do what you want them to, only on their own. If, however, you ignored them or tried to be their buddy all the time, you might have issues. I'm just not sure you can correct them at that point, because they're at the age where they need more freedom. The age to teach is when they're five years old and hanging on your every word.

1) If it's not MySpace, it's Facebook - which is basically the college version, although it actually has somewhat of a point (I think MySpace is just stupid). Facebook has the benefit of allowing you to keep in touch with people who went to other colleges, especially people from summer programs and the like, who you wouldn't otherwise ever talk to again.

The downside is that alumni also know this and have been registering in order to check out job applicants on Facebook. My scholarship program has said that if we have anything remotely inappropriate on our profile, we'll lose our money. :|

2) If parents feel like they can't trust their kid on the internet, their kid shouldn't be on the internet. Period.

No. But I don't know how MySpace works - is there the possibility to have some sort of age restriction/parental approval thing? I wouldn't mind that. But shutting it down is censorship in my mind.

I think parents need to keep a close eye on what their kids are doing on the Internet. I don't care for spy-like programs that record keystrokes, etc. I think there are less invasive ways for parents to make sure that their kids are being safe on the Internet, but if that kind of program is the only thing that works, then better that than their kids doing something unsafe.

I was introduced to the Internet in high school, at a time when I was old enough to understand what was safe and smart to do and what was not. I couldn't get this kind of advice from my mom, who still is clueless about such things. I think if the Internet had come out when I was younger this may have got me into trouble. I think parents today need to make sure that they know at least as much about the Internet etc. as their kids. I suspect that a lot of the problem is that we've got whiz kids who know a hell a lot more about the Internet than their parents, but are too young to understand safety. It's difficult for parents to teach their kids about Internet safety when all they know how to do is check their e-mail.

I've heard of people being surprised at what their bosses, etc. have been able to find out about them on the Internet. People need to be more careful - a lot of people, I think, assume that the Internet gives them total anonymity. It doesn't. So don't diss your boss on your blog. I've also heard stories about homosexuals who are openly gay on the Internet but not in RL being outed when they didn't want to be.

Will respond more in depth later, but I think a good example of parents keeping an eye on their kids is when I sent something to Myra. She asked her mom, and she gave her the okay - but only to send it to her mother, at her work address. Granted, if I was some psycho (I'm not, really :p) I could still probably track them down from that, but it's Myra's parents being involved, knowing what she's doing, etc.

When I have kids, I won't have a problem with them being active on the Internet - can't hardly, all things considered. But I'll make a point to know what sites they go to, etc. I never told my parents I went to fanfic sites and such, because I was kind of embarrassed about it (before I realized how big a phenomenon it was), and I'd probably tell my kids the types of places I went, message boards and the like, so they'd feel comfortable telling me what they were up to.

I also think it's a great opportunity to bond with kids - if your son or daughter has favorite sites they go to every day, find out what they are and chat with them about it. Find out who the newest mod is :p or that one disappeared around the time of the hurricanes (Genghis12 at the JC, in case anyone's curious), or read your kid's newest story, or whatever.

Yeah, even though I'm 19 now, I still clue my parents into at least the bare bones of what I'm doing online. I've told them about DT (mostly to show it off :p ) and let them know that I correspond with Jenn and Jes in RL. My mom's a little paranoid (due to mostly just hearing about horror stories on the news), but they're okay with it. I think a big part of getting their trust is being willing to tell them things before they question me about them.

Personally I dislike Myspace personals, the band/music bit is okay, but the personal one is way too emo.

After having said that: 1) No, don't shut it down. Without Myspace, metalheads would have nowhere to laugh at emos, or such amazing suicides as "you BROKE my LIFE". In seriousness, censorship sucks.

2) I despise all types of parents spying on their kids. It's invasive. If the parents are that worried, don't get the bloody internet. I had AOL, and that is the most prudish thing ever, it blocked everything, including external browsers. It also gave my mother the opportunity to look into everything I'd been on. Luckily, she didn't know how to use it ;) However, since I deleted AOL it's been easier, and I'm trusted even more, seeing as I openly talk to her about what I do online. I don't care what she thinks about it though, so what if I'm going to a country in the summer where I just happen to know a couple of people? Not everyone on the net is a paedophile. People need to realise that :p

Hmm, well my parents are oblivious to what I do on the internet which is good. :p Except they do know I write fanfic.

As for myspace... well, I have one and it amuses me. As does my live journal. I don't think it's hurting anything... except for the slutty girls who bare all... but that's beside the point.

Also, my friend has what we refer to as a "cyber nanny" and it really sucks. He can't look at any websites that deal with guns and since he plays paintball.... well, looking up paintball sites isn't too fun for him.

1.) You can't really shut down myspace... that would be blatant censorship. But teaching kids about internet safety would be a more plausible thing to do.

2.) I agree with the whole "If you give it to them, trust them." Not to say parents can't ask where you're going... but putting electronic locks/snoops etc. seems very 1984-ish to me. :p

Spee, there are a lot of websites that require parent approval under a certain age. The problem is that internet "coming of age" is at 13. Which is still a minor. (And believe me, I know. I had to get permission SO many times to use boards ... :p)

As for parents keeping track, I know that my mom knows a bit about what I do online. She knows the names of the main sites that I use, and that there's someone whose screenname is Jesina Dreis that lives in New England. And she asks questions, too. "Written anything new lately?" Like Jes said, it's just keeping tabs. Also, she asked for - and was given - the password to my email account, just in case.

Myri's right, though. People who are determined to do bad things don't let petty barriers like laws stand in their way. If they did, we wouldn't have nearly as many criminals. Not to mention, it really is ridiculously easy to pass yourself off as older (or younger) than you are on the internet. I mean, all the those parent approval laws ... All you have to do it fib a little ... "Oh, my birthday is in a week ... I'm as good as [x age]."

Cobra's right. If parents need to know what their kid has been up to, ask first. Unless said kid has been doing something dangerous or illegal. Then - and only then is snooping justified. Not everyone online is a registered sex offender. Or pedophile. Or swindler. Or general creep. Yeah, there are those who are, but a little bit of trust can do a lot. I know that if my mom was snooping on the computer, she wouldn't have me telling her what I'd been up to for a long, long time.

Yeah, lying about your age on the internet is easy. I did it all the time so I could register for websites and even for AIM when I was younger.

Personally, I would never give my parents my email password or the password to any of my accounts. Some of the emails I exchange with friends are personal and I don't think my mom has any place reading them.

I think that myspace is a good thing and a bad thing. Sure it can be used for stalking kids, but it can also be used to talk to your friends when you normaly can't. It's like anything else on the internet.

About parents keeping tabs on their children's online activities. I think if the parents don't trust their kid online, the kid shouldn't be without supervision. Now if the parent trusts the kid, then some monitoring should be done, but not like the key memory. That's an invasion of privacy, it's like reading your kids diary or recording all of their phone conversation. It makes the kid feel like a prisoner.

It's insane to try and learn your kid's passwords. I know that my parents don't snoop, so I'm okay with my mom knowing my e-mail password. But if I didn't trust her, or something, then I would change it.

And Dev's got the idea: if the kid isn't trustworthy, then check up on them. If they are, ask a bit, but don't snoop.

Personally, I don't use MySpace. I hate the layout and despise everything about it. (apologies to any MS users/lovers) :*

In the thread in the Bar, Spee said:

That's why I use LiveJournal. I don't know if MS has the same locking/privacy capabilities that LJ has, but I love LJ's well enough. You can make entries public, locked to only those you have friended, filtered to a select few on your friends list, or private.

I used to make only sensitive entries or those with personal info in them friends only, but now my entire journal is friends only. I'm a rather private person and like to restrict just who can read my online diary/journal, basically. I also don't have to worry about roomies or family reading entries unless I want them to. So that's why I don't get MySpace. You're broadcasting it all over the world and people find links in the oddest of places or can go searching for screennames you might normally use.

Oh, and on this note - Facebook has privacy settings as well, so... people who don't want their profiles seen by family or whoever need to be...ah...smarter at using sites beyond just signing up and editing your profile.

A friend of mine on LJ has his entire journal open. He's a professor at a university and made an entry about this very thing awhile ago, how people can find you on the internet just by googling your name or something. Someone who knew him or worked with him found his blog and was saying that prof's shouldn't have blogs or something? I can't remember. But it's why I always use aliases on the internet, have very little personal info in any profiles on blogs or message boards anywhere.

I don't think MS should be shut down or even could be. It'd be like shutting down Napster - months later there are 10 more file sharing programs (in this case, blog systems) to take its place.

There is no way parents should know their kids' passwords or try to find out, IMO. It's a total invasion of privacy and if there isn't even that level of trust in the relationship, then something is seriously further wrong than just what they think their kid might be doing on the internet. Kids need their space. Though I'm amazed at the trust some of you have inyour parents. ...Maybe I'm just paranoid about my privacy. ;)

Don't even get me started on parents' and family's misperceptions about the internet. Oh my Force. My mom laughed when I told her I was on fanfic sites, so, yeah, parents laughing at what your kid is doing on the internet = not conducive to them telling you anymore what they're doing.

And the first time I went to a con?? *headdesks* My dad was convinced that most people on the internet are stalkers and pedophiles. Now, my fam's ok with it, they know I do..."something" on the internet and have come home unscathed from several cons, but they still don't understand what it's all about and it just makes me seethe because they won't listen. I think they still think I'm chatting with random strangers all the time or people who end up as child molesters. Of course, teenagers who post way too much personal info on, say, MySpace profiles or whatever are what make it so darn easy for said pedophiles on the internet to go after young people. If you're smart about it, there's not much need to worry about such a thing happening; my family doesn't get that.

I better stop before I go off again on my family. My own grandmother got on my case telling me how "everyone in the extended family" was so worried every time I went to a con (and I want to know how they all knew?? I have like 80 cousins!). She cornered me awhile back and told me how "those Star Wars fans are evil" and that they would "drag me down." :headwall: :headwall: :headwall: (Sorry...tangent)

-Mia

LOL!! Yup, that's us all right. Evil.

Eviller than Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Castro, Hussein, the Devil, Nero, and the first guy to hit another one over the head with a rock, all put together! :whistling: :p

And yeah, one of the things you see a lot on myspace, is that people will put their age as 17, but then when they enter their DOB in a 'survey', they put their actual DOB, and with a simple subtraction problem, you can figure out, they ain't seventeen. :rolleyes: And then you just have the complete idiots who post everything about themselves online. Personally if I've known you for a while, and I trust you, I'll tell you where I live and stuff, but if I don't, then you get my first name, and sometimes not even that. But a lot of people aren't savvy about that sort of stuff, and think 'oh it could never happen to me', it's just the traditional teenage mindset.


:matrix:

I think about two people on the whole net know my actual address. Several know the village, quite a lot know the city. It's not really a problem for me, giving out info. If it weren't for my mother being scared of spam and junkmail I wouldn't bat an eyelid at giving it out. That said, she frequently buys stuff online, so I don't know what the hell she's on about.

Meets, I keep trying to get together for the FanForce chapter I'm trying to start up. However, the only few people that live near me are either shy (moose) or apathetic to the point of complete madness (Blade). I don't think my mother cares about local meets, I live in one of the quietest places in Britain, after all (Despite the high ratio of Chavs to normal folk). However, my trip to Croatia this year was going to involve a small meeting as well to help get them on the way to their chapter, yet she won't let me go on my own.

No matter how many times I tell her that not everyone on the net is a 60 year old fat greasy bloke paedo, she doesn't listen.

I may be nineteen, but I still live at home and my mother knows what I do on the net, for the most part. She knows I have a few base passwords that I use and she could probably guess my password with little effort. She doesn't know the exact names of the sites or my usernames, but she knows, for the most part, what kind of sites I frequent. And she knows that I'm often on IM and have friends- friend that have asked me to visit them and that I've offered to have visit me when I get my own place in a few months.

And it's always been that way. The reason she doesn't know more is more because I'm embarrassed about her reaction to fan fic than anything else. But I've been using the internet heavily since I was thirteen and she's always had an idea of what I was doing and has always been okay with it.

And yes, I've set up accounts at ff.net where I'm someone completely different. *shrugs* It's incredibly easy to do and I'd get bored and pretend that I'm really five years older than I really am (so twenty instead of fifteen at the time) and post fics. If I wanted to- I probably wouldn't have a hard time doing that anywhere else.

I give my first name out fairly often, but never my last. I think that most people who know me at least slightly know the country I'm in as well as the general region. But more than that... I've given out my exact address to about five people and there are maybe a couple more I'd consider giving it to, if they wanted it for some reason. But for the most part, not going to happen.

I guess I've been lucky that my mother is rather lenient with the internet and through her trust, I'Ve also learned my own guidelines and barriers. I think on some extent, parents have to let their kids have freedom on the net- they just need to make sure that they have taught the kids the right 'rules' and measures and give them the trust they need.

Haven't there been several cases where kids just trying to break free of their parents end up being prey for pedophiles, murderers, sexual offenders and the like on the net? It's the same as real life- you don't give out personal info to every random person on the street.

I still don't get why people are embarrassed about FanFic.

Because whenever I actually tell someone what it is- people get this strange look on their face and ask me 'why would you do that?' So it's much easier just to not say anything at all. We're all fan ficcers, so we all like it and enjoy it and don't think it's the most ridiculous thing on earth. But there are a lot of people out there who think that way...

Silly people they are. Each person has different interests, you should make them aware of that :p

I try. They still don't get it. *rolls eyes* So whatever. *grins* I have you guys to discuss it with.

My few good friends know that I write fanfic. But it's not something that I bring up generally because, well, I'm in middle school and everyone is obsessed with fitting in.

That would explain it then :p I'm about as Anti-Establishment as possible in the eyes of my peers, so they just figure that whatever I do is weird, but they don't bother with specifics :p

My peers...don't really know me at all. They all think I'm this quiet, shy little thing who always has her head stuck in a book and doesn't really say anything and then when she does, it's nonsense.

*sigh* So I just let them think that and ignore them for the most part.

Well, Im evil. But then I think killing is fun.