Given the political unrest of the world today, the Apocalypse could come at any time. For this reason, I have made myself a Sculptor’s Apocalypse Survival Kit. Now this should have everything a sculptor needs to keep sculpting until the nuclear winter is over. Now this won't have an oven, but since a there will be a lot of abandoned cars on fire, with a little practice you can use one of those to bake your sculpts. I figure minivans will be best for this. Anyway, the first thing you will need is a container to keep everything all organized in. I picked up this toolbox at Wal-Mart and it's just the right size for everything to fit in. It comes with a tray on the top so you can keep your smaller tools and supplies all neat and also has two nice trays up top.



As far as supplies goes, here's a list that should provide you with the right stuff to outlive all the other sculptors...except the Shiflett Brothers because their gills allow them to breath underwater. Moving along...







1. Super Sculpey - I've placed this in an airtight bag to preserve it and keep the radiation out. It also allows for better storage since you can mold it around objects in your toolbox.

2. Various Tools - These are just all the scrapers, dentist tools, smoothers, etc. Some are homemade and others I bought at Blick Studios. In the case of the dentist tools, they can double as actual dentist tools if you have to perform an emergency cavity filling. Tom Hanks wished he had this kit when he was stuck on that island.

3. Various Wire - This isn't exactly necessary since there will be plenty of debris, downed power lines, and stuff laying around to form a nice armature out of. Plus, you could always harvest some wire off of the destroyed hunter-killer robots.

4. Petroleum Jelly, Q-tips, and Paper Towels - The jelly helps the raw Sculpey stick to the baked Sculpey better. Q-Tips and paper towels just make it easier to apply and keeps it off your hands. Petroleum jelly might make repopulating the earth a lot more interesting as well.

5. 91% Alcohol and a Metal Pie Pan - The alcohol is good for smoothing out Sculpey and the pan is a good container for the alcohol, paint, water, or any chemical that would eat through Styrofoam. The alcohol is also a good for making the days in the bunker go by faster

6. Ruler and Caliper - A good sculptor always keeps everything in the right proportion. You could also use these to kill cockroaches since we don't want them inheriting the earth.

7. Sandpaper - Great for smoothing out baked Sculpey. Also great for keeping your fingernails all nice looking. Nobody likes nasty fingernails while trying to survive.

8. Headlight - Since the only light during the Apocalypse is going to be the from the pile of dead bodies that are burning, you might need some extra light to sculpt by. The actual model I got is an Energizer LED Head Beam. The cool thing about this is it lasts a long time on 3 AAA batteries and frees up your hands for sculpting. It also has a red light that helps point out stuff you don't see with white light.

9. Magnifying Glass - Helps you see so you can sculpt small detail. It can also cook you some ants if your food supplies run out.

10. Mirror - This is used to compare sides of your sculpt. It's also good at signaling rescue aircraft, which will never come...NEVER!!!

11. Clay Gun - This handy little tool works like that Play-Doh Fun Factory you had as a kid. You put the Sculpey in there and press on the top and it squirts it out in different uniform shapes. With a little modification I guess you could use this to a syringe for vaccinating yourself against the T-Virus.

12. Eye Mold - I made this myself from Sculpey. It's just a bunch of half spherical holes that I can press Sculpey into to make a perfect eyeball. This will actually be currency after the fall of all governments.

13. Pliers and Wire Cutters - You need these mainly for making the armature, emergency surgery, or cutting holes in chain link fences to escape from the mob of zombies moving slowly towards you.

14. Credit Card - Never leave the bunker without it. This is good for cutting Sculpey, or smoothing areas out.

15. Paint Brushes - These are mainly used for smoothing out Sculpey with the alcohol. Also makes great stakes for slaying vampires.

16. Exacto Knives, Tweezers, and a Permanent Marker - The knives are good for fixing mistakes on baked Sculpey, or cutting slashes in raw Sculpey. They are also good for first aid, weapons, field dressing rats, and just making you look like a total badass. The tweezers are there for positioning small stuff into place. It also works well if you get a splinter. If you get an infection due to a splinter during the Apocalypse...GAME OVER MAN, YOU'RE SCREWED!!! The marker is good for marking on the armature where you need to cut it, where the knees and elbows are, etc. You can also you it with the exacto knife to make tattoos for your outlaw biker clan.

Well, there you have it. With this kit and a little luck you might be able to survive the end of the world and repopulate the Earth. Good luck and happy sculpting.