MALONE, ava

( NAME YOUR GOD ! )
a n d . w e . w i l l . s e n d . y o u . t o . w h a t e v e r . g o d . y o u . c h o o s e



AVA NOELLE MINNA MALONE

Face down in the dirt
She said "This doesn't hurt!"
She said "I finally had enough!"
One day she will tell you that she has had enough
It's coming round again

( I CAN READ YOU LIKE A GUN ! )
i ' l l . t a k e . y o u . o n

name:Mouse
age: 20
gender: Female
contact: PM, AIM- frick0of0nature
time zone: PST
other characters: Mordecai Peppers, Augusta D'Agostino

( I DREAM OF YOU DRAPED IN WIRES ! )
a n d . l e a n i n g . o n . t h e . b r a k e s

full name: Ava Noelle Minna Malone (nee O’Sullivan)
name meaning: Ava is Germanic for ‘life’. Noelle is old French, meaning Christmas. Minna is German for ‘determined to protector’. Of course her parents never knew any of this they just liked the name.
nicknames: Usually she goes by Ava (pronounced AY-va). However some of her family calls her by various nicknames, including Nonnie, Ella, Ellie, Elle, Minnie, and various other pet names.
age: Twenty-two
date of birth: March 15

blood type: A-
sexuality: Heterosexual

affiliation: Irish Mob.
position/occupation(s): None/Musician. No, she doesn’t play guitar or sing. She’s a real musician. She’s classically trained and can play cello, piano, and the fiddle or violin. She’s what one might call a musical savant.

pet(s): None.
mode of transportation: Dark blue Hyundai Santa Fe Hybrid.
personal wealth: Very wealthy.

( I LEAVE YOU WITH RESTLESS LIARS ! )
a n d . d e a l e r s . o n . t h e . t a k e

hair color & style: Ava has wavy blonde hair that falls to just past her shoulders. She normally wears it in it’s natural wavy state, rarely straightening it.
eye color: Blue.
skin tone: Pale peach
height & weight: 5’8; 125 lbs
build: Slim fit.
scars & tattoos: Nothing of significance.
accent: A mixture of Irish, Scottish and Bostonian. It’s a strange mixture, but what makes it even strange is the sound of her voice. She has one of those scratchy, squeak voices that sound as if she has a permanent sore throat. Very scratchy and raspy.
clothing style: Elegant. She tends to dress a little more dressy than she needs to, simply because she likes pretty clothing. Although her clothing can sometimes seem extravagant, she has a sort of old-fashioned elegancy that stops her from seeming like a snob. Ava almost always wears dresses or skirts, rarely wearing pants or shorts.

play-by: Diane Kruger

( I WILL STRIDE YOU WITH DESIRE OF FAULT LINE ! )
n o . c l u t c h . n o . s t o r m

likes: Traffic. Driving. Playing music. Cello. Violin. The fiddle. Piano. Listening to music. Classical music. Music. Mastering music. Saxophone. Secrets. Alcohol. Cigarettes. Drinking. Performing. Fog. Rain. The smell of first rain. Being warm. Curling up in a blanket. Tea. Flowers, particularly daisies or lilies. Heart. Snow Patrol. Damien Rice. Reading. The color yellow. Solid colors. Clothing. Elegance. The city lights. Sitting on the deck. Light night television. Dancing, usually alone. Having a nanny. Sleeping. Travelling. Sand. Anything on the rocks. Hybrid cars. The sound of chimes. Cold days. Architecture. Sunglasses. Church. Hot tubs. Hotel rooms. Woolen Mittens. Old-fashioned ear muffs. Most things old fashioned. Lying in the darkness with music. Scotland.
dislikes: Being an addict. Guns. Being a mom (she’s too young). Falling off the wagon. Being on the wagon. Cooking. Being burned. Interventions. Ants. Spiders. Bugs. Scorpions. Swimming. Fish. Bad hygiene. Game shows. Reality television. Bad musicians. Pools and other large bodies of water. Birds. Pets. Simplistic clothing or clothing that’s too relaxed. Picking up after others. Spicy foods. Getting up early. Rowdy bars. People talking to her in bars. Men who flirt with her.
strengths: Musical. Sweet. Humble. Talented. Deception, or acting. Obedient. Inquisitiveness. Memory. Religious.
weaknesses: Being a mother. Alcoholic. Submissive. Depressed. Childish. Addicted. Hopeless. Uptight. Hypocritical. Prone to panic attacks.
talents & special abilities: Plays saxophone, piano, cello, fiddle, violin. Eidetic memory. Photographic memory. High functioning alcoholic. Hiding her alcoholism.
hobbies & interests: Drinking alcohol. Playing music. Performing. Traveling. Dancing. Church.
habits & quirks: Pretends to play music when she frustrated or irritated. Plays music to cool off (actually she plays music pretty much anytime). Toys with her necklace. Kisses her prayer beads. Smokes like a chimney in Alaska. Spends a lot of time on the deck with a drink and a smoke.
dreams & desires: She doesn’t really have these. She’s given up pretty much and if she thinks about these things, she just breaks down in tears. I supposes she wishes she could be happy.
fears: Ants. Spiders. Pools or other large bodies of water. Her husband.

personality: in-depth:

Ava is an incredibly complex being, who seems to contradict herself in many ways, but still somehow it’s all her. Who you see usually depends on who you are. Her husband might see a disobedient, self pitying alcoholic. Fans of her music, of her performances might see a put together and talented young woman with an incomparable talent for music. Her family sees a sweet, yet damaged young mother who hasn’t quite learned her place in the world and in the mob. The list goes on, with each version a little different. Of course many of her personality traits are dampened, diminished or even enhanced depending on her mental status, whether she is in a high or a low, whether she is drunk or not, whether she is choosing to put on an act or let herself show the misery she feels. There is definitely a huge part of Ava that is an actress and she makes me people what she wants them to see, or rather what she thinks they want to see. She hides a lot of herself from different people.

One of the reasons Ava is able to put in a good face in front of guests and the public is because she is a high functioning alcoholic. While she falls apart while at home, she is able to appear put together in public. When she wants to, she is able to complete tasks as if she were completely sober. Most of the time she would rather just fall into her depression and allow it to consume her, but she isn’t able to, so she has to make do and keep herself together. She plays drunk, she’ll take care of her daughter drunk, though the nanny is mostly around these days, she’ll even go to AA meetings drunk. People don’t seem to notice because she is so good at hiding it. It’s a huge defense mechanism. If people don’t know, how can they stop her? With a lot of things, her not being drunk is the problem. She finds it hard to play music when she hasn’t been drinking, because of shaking hands and a huge headache. She tends to get even more depressed and even suicidal when she hasn’t been drinking. She can even get a little mean when she’s coming down from withdrawals, which is unlike her normal personality.

There are many things that are childish about Ava, despite her other traits that might seem more advanced for someone her age and considering she’s in a depression. She has an incredibly childlike curiosity. It definitely shows on her face, a sort of amazed inquisitiveness that shows in the widening and sparkle of her eyes and her dark lips open wide. She tends to wander into things without really thinking through the possible consequences and certainly this has gotten her into trouble more times than it should. Even without a curiosity, she can be incredibly naïve when it comes to her safety. While she hates bars, she might go into one without thinking that a pretty girl like her could get in trouble with a rowdy bar crowd. She’s sort of always assumed that she was safe, considering who her husband is. While not the top dog, he does have some pull and so a certain amount of protection is offered by this.

Despite the fact that her curiosity does tend to make her wander, she is incredibly obedient. She has the sort of obedience most men enjoy, particularly those in the mob. Obviously, she married her husband without outward protest and had a child when it wasn’t something she wanted, because it was what was expected of her. Although she certainly could make a scene that has never been Ava’s way. She plays the good little wife. For the most part, and nearly always in public, she does as her husband tells her to do and even with a smiling face. She will go to functions and dinners and smile on her husband’s arm. She’ll hold her child in her arms and pretend she’s a good, doting mother. She’s not sure why she does this, why she obeys. Probably because she thinks of all of this as dirty laundry- a bad marriage, an unwanted daughter- and they are nothing that the public needs to know. However, many obedient people have low self-esteem, no confidence in themselves. If asked Ava wouldn’t say this is true but it certainly can be. From a young age, after her parents die, her caretakers made her feel like a burden, someone they took care of out of obligation rather than any real caring. They got rid of her as soon as they could, once she was eighteen and could marry.

The only thing she really disobeys about is her music. Certainly she fights with her husband, but isn’t necessarily because she disobeys him, but because she drinks too much or she doesn’t care of their child as he hopes she would. She always tells him that he was the one that wanted the child, not her. Usually, he seems hurt by this but to be bluntly honest, it’s the truth. She remembers some of her friends telling her that she’d want the child once it came, but nothing has changed. Surely, she loves her daughter, as she is a part of her, but she still wishes she never had her. Her music, on the other hand, has always been extremely important to her and it’s more that she doesn’t want to be at home. Her music is something she can do and she needs to hold onto that, hold onto the fact that she has something outside of being a wife and mother that she can be. She’s a musician and she would describe herself as that before a wife or a mother.

Ava has always been known for being a sweet young girl and now a sweet young woman, albeit with more problems than she once had. She has a sweetness about her, that comes from her being incredibly humble, despite her talents. A lot of that comes from her upbringing. Since she’s been a sort of communal ‘daughter’ she’s nice to everyone, because they all took care of her. Some of this sweetness comes from the fact that she is rather humble. Certainly someone with her talents could easily be an overconfident bitch. She’s been praised by critics, raved about, called ‘the Andre Bocelli of instrumentalists’. People have always told her how talented she is, how pretty she is, but she’s always blushed and thanked them. It’s not that she doesn’t think she is good; she just doesn’t believe she needs to brag about how good she is. Anyway, she’s become somewhat pessimistic in thinking that despite her talents, her appearance, it doesn’t get you much in the world, at least not as a woman. The only thing it will get you is the place on the arm of some ‘influential’ man.

Ava has an incredible memory, what people know as ‘total recall’. It is both eidetic memory, as she has the ability to retain any sound, and photographic memory, the ability to remember any image she might see. It’s certainly helped with her talent, as she can look at any piece of music and instantly have it memorized. She has thousands upon thousands of scores in her head. Some of those are from music she’s only heard, such as ones from films or that she’s seen at other performances. It helped her fly through school. She never had to study, she never really had to worry about her studies. The only reason she didn’t do completely fantastic academically is because she didn’t apply herself, instead focusing on music. She didn’t turn in homework and such because she had been practicing rather than doing it. Her memory goes beyond just what she sees and hears, though, as she can remember events when she was a young child that most people don’t remember. She likes to attribute that to wanting to remember her parents, but it could just be a talent she has.

Ava is incredibly religious, Roman Catholic to be exact. She prays every night and often during the day when she needs a little extra strength, though one might say it hasn’t helped much. She always carries a chain of prayer beads that were given to her by a father at one of the churches. She’s not perfect, certainly, but she does her best to follow most of the commandments. Ava certainly isn’t a bible thumper of any sort though. She believes religion is a very personal matter and so she worships in her own way and doesn’t bother with how others do it. Still, some people see her as a prude or uptight because of her religious beliefs and because she’s young but that doesn’t mean she’s talking about all the sex she has, or she goes out and parties. Considering she’s not completely happy in her ‘romance’ life, she certainly won’t brag about it, but even if she was happy there, she wouldn’t talk about it because, like religion, it’s a private matter and it should be kept that way. She doesn’t want to hear about other people’s sex life either.

Ava doesn’t seem like your typical addict, but if you look deep enough, look hard enough, you’ll see she’s like any other addict- that is, she’s miserable. She’s completely unhappy in her marriage. Honestly, she’s never given it a chance as she saw the marriage as the end of her life, a life that she never had and wanted. She wanted t get married and do her part in the mob, but she also wanted to have a bit of her own life first. They took that away from her. Certainly she could have protested, could have said no, but she didn’t know how to without causing a fuss. Anyway, that felt like she was being ungrateful with all that had done for her, so she couldn’t imagine saying no. Still, she’s made it clear to her husband that she is not happy in the marriage. He would have to be an idiot to not realize that. After having a child, she thought she was stuck and indeed she is. She suffers from clinical depression, which was only made worse by postpartum depression, which led to her drinking. She spends a lot of her day in bed, crying, drinking, passed out or some combination of the three. Some people might not think that Ava is dedicated to getting healthy. She attends regular Alcoholic Anonymous meetings, but she has hardly been clean long enough to warrant any sort of reward. There are so many times it’s easier for her to just drink away her worries rather than anything else. Generally it’s after fights with her husband, but considering she thinks most of her life is worthless, she drinks a lot more than just after fights with her husband.

Most people think that Ava is a bit of a coquette by the way she dresses. Before her marriage she was quite a virgin, though considering how young she was married, that doesn’t seem so surprising. Even aside from sex, she had very little romantic contact with boys, particularly since she was so dedicated to her music. Now, certainly she has had sex and been made to do some things she wasn’t completely comfortable doing. Not rape, but definitely some pressure on her husband’s part. Now, she’s not completely innocent and she does enjoy sex and attention from men, but she’s still very innocent in many ways when it comes to this sort of thing. She’ll blush if a man hits on her, as well as become very uncomfortable because that could always be bad for them if her husband were to find out.

Ava isn’t the greatest mother in the world. It’s not that she doesn’t have the capacity to be a good mother, but she doesn’t try as much as she could or should. Considering she’s been in a depression for the past three years, self medicating, she hasn’t paid much attention to her daughter and taking care of her. She shows a little selfishness in this as well, as she thinks that she had her youth taken away from her. She had a child immediately after she was married, at a young age, and it was hardly her choice. Ava does try, occasionally, to take care of her child. She likes to take her daughter to the park, but she finds it easier to hand off the child to a nanny and focus on her music or other things in her life. She might read to her daughter every couple of weeks, but she’d much rather let her husband read her to bed, while she nurses a cocktail or two, before passing out. The one thing that she actually does bond with her child is music, which Brynn seems to share her love for. Music is Ava’s life and so when her daughter shows an interest, she’ll happily oblige her, though she is careful since her daughter is only four.

Ava has a huge love of old fashioned things. Her dress tends to be old fashioned, and usually not fitting for the occasion as she is usually overdressed. She rarely wears shorts or pants, and most of her clothing has an old fashioned modesty and elegance. That isn’t the only thing that she enjoys old-fashioned. She loves old grandfather clocks, she likes when men dress smartly in suits and have class about them. She likes when people respect each other and themselves. She likes it when people have some reserve when talking about sex and their own sexual encounters. Most people would expect her to be fine with the arrangement made for her and her husband, as that is certainly an old fashioned practice, but that is one of the few things that she hates old fashioned. While she wouldn’t say she is a feminist, she does think that people should choose their own marriage, especially when, because she feels she lost a lot of her life.

( I TEACH YOU OF DEATH'S DESIRES ! )
r e f l e c t i n g . i n . l a k e s

parents:
Tarin O’Sullivan, Deceased
Daniel O’Sullivan, Deceased

siblings:
None

other:
Daughter- Brynn Malone, 5
Husband- Cavan Malone, 33
Uncle- Brogan Kilpatrick
Distant Cousins- Merryn Kilpatrick, Sean Kilpatrick, Caitrin Kilpatrick, Ronan Kilpatrick, Isolde Bronte.

family wealth: Wealthy.

ethnicity: Irish, Scottish.
birthplace: Balmaha, Scotland
hometown: Balmaha, Scotland. Boston, MA.

history: in-depth:

Ava O’Sullivan was born in Balmaha, Scotland, where her parents were staying, thought they were Irish and certainly part of the Irish mob. Her father had a long term job there and so she spent most of her youth there. Its one of her favorite places in the world because it is an absolutely gorgeous place to live. She always wondered why they lived there, since they were Irish and part of the mob but they were so disconnected from them. She found out later that her family wasn’t exactly on the good side of their mob at all times and this mission was a punishment for a failed mission by her father. She loved it there, though, and so she never complained. Certainly Ireland doesn’t compare and Massachusetts is practically hell compared to Scotland. Most of her accent comes from there, before she moved to Ireland when she was seven. She lived there for three years before her parents passed away.

Being in the mafia, it’s not unusual for people to die, for people you care about to die. However, when it does happen to mob usually still tries to take care of those who have suffered from this loss. When Ava’s parents died when she was just ten years old, the family took it upon themselves to take care of her and she ended up in the home of her aunt and uncle, across the sea from her home in Boston. They were quite better off then her family had been and that was the reason why they were chosen to take over her care. She remembered her father had always said it was luck that it was his brother and not himself, but looking back on it she realized how much her father resented her uncle in many ways. Considering he got himself killed, she wouldn’t say that was too far off, probably. The resentment between the two brothers did take its toll on how they treated Ava. They ignored her, mostly, though they took care of her physical needs. Ava escaped this by spending time with one of the widows that lived nearby, who was kind to her, despite the fact that most children thought he was a witch. Ava would watch him garden and the man would pretend not to see her, but slowly Ava would inch closer until she was helping him.

They grew close. While Ava had taken piano lessons from another neighbor while her parents had been alive, that had been about technique, and the man began to teach her about how to play based on instinct and feelings. She learned quickly and her passion for music grew. She sought out other musicians, prone to spending time in music shops and studios. She grasped a wide range of knowledge of instruments, though her focus was on piano and her newfound love, the violin. People around her were amazed by how easily she picked up the information but she ate up everything about music, finding solace there, finding something to escape her pain and loneliness. It was a good thing she did take advantage of this because it was the thing that would give her the biggest opportunity of her life. Just before she was entering high school, one of the patrons at a shop heard her playing in one of the practice rooms. The patron was the dean of prestigious music school, a specialized school for those with musical inclinations. On the spot, he offered her a scholarship to the school. Unbeknown to Ava, her neighbor, the one she had been helping, was actually a teacher at this school and has convinced the dean to go see her. She feared her uncle wouldn’t let her go but while not close to her, they weren’t particularly malicious either, or at least not at that time, so they agreed.

It was a whole new world for her- where everyone was just like her- or at least everyone enjoyed music. All of the students were talented musically, but Ava never met someone exactly like her. She could pick up any instrument and play it well. She could hear a song once and be able to play it perfectly. She could name every note she heard, even if she heard more than one at a time. Pretty quickly, she was more a pet than a pupil. The teachers would use her as an example of how things should be done. Some of the students were jealous of her, resented her, but a large majority of them were in awe of her. Ava felt at home in some sense. Of course in the summer after her junior year, she received some news that changed her plans for the future. Her aunt and uncle had arranged for her to be married to a gentleman about ten years older than her. He was somewhat of an up and coming member of the mafia. Her family no longer wanted to care for her, so they found someone that would and could. She never thought about refusing but she wasn’t happy with the idea.

Going into the marriage, Ava was already fairly unhappy. She wasn’t interested in being married to anyone at the time, especially not someone she hardly knew, who was ten years older than her and who she didn’t love. His name was Cavan Malone. Along with several of her other childlike qualities, Ava had always believed she would marry for love. Once she had thought back on it, she realized it was silly to think such a thing, as mobs often did this- choosing wives for their members. She realized she was just some pawn, some arm piece and all of her dreams were shattered and meaningless. Still her mentor at the school pressed her to continue her music and he began to book her at venues. He was the person who kept her going, telling her that talent as hers rarely came, and he begged her not to waste it. She didn’t see much choice in the matter, but she allowed him to book venues, as her family tried to point her attention the wedding. Surprisingly she found her popularity growing. Whether it was by word of mouth, advertising or pure luck, she didn’t know, but it renewed her love for it, and she distanced herself even more from the wedding. In some far off place in her mind, she hoped they would see she didn’t need anyone to take care of her and she wouldn’t have to marry him, but by then she knew it was too late to turn back.

Her career was stable and her life felt solid, but her impending marriage could not be overshadowed by these things. Finally the day came- her wedding, a day most women looked forward to. It was a nice affair in a Catholic church, but all she could think about was how her life was over before it even began. Surprisingly though her husband didn’t seem to want to force her out of her music and he even allowed her to keep performing. Ava could admit, begrudgingly, that he did try to make her comfortable in some ways, and she figured this was one of them. Comfort flew out the window when she found herself pregnant soon after the marriage. She had been hoping it wouldn’t happen, but since they have were having unprotected sex, Ava supposed she shouldn’t have been the surprised. The ting was she was surprised because she had secretly been taking birth control. She became convinced that someone was out to get her. Ava seriously considered aborting but birth control was one thing, killing another child was unforgivable. She let her husband know she was pregnant and he seemed delighted by the news. Ava found herself sullenly thinking his prayers had outweighed hers. Of course.

He wanted her to stay home for the entirety of her pregnancy, finally giving up her music. Ava figured the ‘honeymoon’ period was over. She begged him not to make her do it because she would go crazy without it. He allowed for the first six months before telling her she was to stay home. That didn’t stop her from playing of course but she feared her absence would destroy her career. Some other prodigy would take her place. She watched fretfully for this to happen but no one especially thrilling appeared in the three months before she gave birth. On September 9th 2004, Ava gave birth to Brynn Malone, a tiny baby girl. Even holding her child in her arms, she felt little motherly instincts and instead was anxious to see if she could convince her husband to let her return to work soon. He seemed to have more paternal instincts then she did maternal, which was fine with her, except he seemed determined to bring out any maternal instincts in her and told her she needed to stay home and bond with the baby.

Ava was completely miserable and this is where things took a turn for the worse. Staying at home with a crying infant when she was eighteen, already depressed and with a touch of postpartum, she was in despair. She drank heavily, despite the fact she was supposed to be breastfeeding. Thankfully while not much of a mother, Ava wasn’t an idiot, and she bought formula. Her husband seemed to realize something was wrong and hired a nanny. Of course, to Ava, this let her off the hook in some ways and her drinking grew worse. Cavan saw this and hoped that having her g back to work would help but it was too late. She played- to get away from her husband, her daughter and her life- but she was still miserable. Somehow she managed to be completely wasted and play perfectly at the same time- a high functioning alcoholic of sorts, at least when she needed to be. At home, she was a complete mess. She completely ignored her daughter for he most part, leaving her care to the nanny, who turned a blind eye to Ava’s completely disregard for her daughter. The nanny would take the child out of the house all day, much to the delight of Ava, who had the house to herself while her husband was away at work. She spiraled further into depression and self destruction. Her husband would come home to find Ava crying on the floor and the nany there long past the time she should be. He would carry Ava up the stairs and tuck her into bed before she cried herself to sleep or passed out. Ava was only twenty and she had reached the darkest depths of depression, letting her husband do exactly as she hadn’t wanted to – she let him take care and control of her.

The thing was- she didn’t care anymore. Everything had lost its joy. She didn’t care to spend time with friends, she lost touch with her mentor and she played only for something to do, though it wasn’t as if the audiences could tell. She hid it well. When others are around she would do her best to act as cheerful as possible. She didn’t want people to know. She was afraid they would try to save her and she was afraid they wouldn’t. Truth was she was the only one who could save herself but she didn’t ant to. She got away with it. She could still function for the most part and it felt good to just drink away everything. Cavan began to fight with her about her drinking, saying it was destructive to everyone, pointing in particularly to their daughter, as if that would make a difference to her. She had laughed, a harsh and bitter sound that she still wasn’t sure came from her and retorted that hadn’t he always wanted her life this, his for the taking? He had hit her across the face. It hadn’t been the first time nor the last he hit her, but it was always only once, when he had the final straw with arguing with her. Ava would back down and disappear for a while. Later he would find her, passed out on a couch or crying. This particularly time her daughter had found her soon after the fight and asked for some help with a book. Without anything else, Ava turned and slapped her daughter. While not close to Brynn, abuse was never something Ava had thought of herself doing. She was shocked with herself, and disgusted, as her daughter burst into tears. That’s when she decided to get help. She started going to AA meetings. While she hasn’t had much success, she is trying, so she hopes that counts for something.

( AS I LEAD YOU IN A FEARFUL FILE ! )
t o . a . p r e c i p i c e . o f . f a t e

member title: a dance with the devil

roleplay sample:

WELCOME TO NYG
a c c e p t e d . e c l e c t i c . t h e . p h r a s e . t h a t . p a y s

omg she's a bombshell, for serious.