The Daily Prophet
ST. MUNGO'S SWAMPThe majority of the Ground Floor of St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries in London was charmed into a prehistoric-esque jungle today; it was the result of a resident of the Janus Thickey ward obtained the wand of a Trainee Healer and vanished. The Janus Thickey ward, of course, is a closed, long-term ward for patients with permanent spell damage. St. Mungo's staff declined to give the patient's name, or the name of the derelict Trainee who left their wand unguarded, and said that the jungle charm would be lifted as soon as possible.
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MINISTER FOR MAGIC "OWLING IN"?
Where is Minister for Magic Quentin Abbey? That is the question on many minds, and a satisfactory answer has yet to be found.
The Minister's last known sighting was on the first of September, according to all witnesses this reporter could track down; Abbey was seen at the Leaky Cauldron, an usual stop for the man, by several regular customers. Leaky Cauldron Proprietress Hermione Lupin said, "He seemed uncomfortable; not too surprising, I don't think I've ever seen him in before. He just sat at the bar for a few minutes, didn't order a thing, and then gave me a weary smile before heading back onto the streets of London."
When asked for comments, Abbey's wife Angelica claimed the Minister was perfectly well, but refused DP reporters any information regarding her husband's current whereabouts. Their sons Coleman and Maxwell Abbey could not be reached for comments. Meanwhile, the Minister's secretary continues in her claims that the Minister has been "owling in" to the office, and has given no explanation for his unusual behavior.
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CLEOPATRA'S TOMB FOUND
The long lost tomb of Queen Cleopatra, the last pharaoh of Egypt, has been found by wizard archeologists; the find has been reported to the muggle Egyptian government, with the help of a few well designed memory charms, no doubt. The find was headed by Theodore Cambses, 57.
Everyone knows the story of Cleopatra, one of the greatest witches the world has ever seen; her very public relationships with muggle Romans Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony are often purported to be her downfall. Her death, and resting place, have long been a mystery, and Cambses is confident that every question surrounding the legendary Cleopatra will soon be answered.
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THE WEATHER WITCH SAYS...
Our resident Weather Witch, Clarence Combard, is predicting cool, breezy days ahead; you know what that means, folks! Time to break out the rain gear, because the next week is going to be wet!