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[Tavi Crebshaw]

"No, I can't say I've had the pleasure of dragging my patients out of the water closet before."

Where Ale chuckled, Tavi could only smile, just a little. On one hand, he was being original, on the other, he hoped he hadn't just made another little tidbit to share with colleagues. He knew what went on between a MindHealer and patient were confidential, but that was inside the office. What happened outside was up for grabs, as far as he was concerned. Great. Boy with the weird marks on his ass gets hauled out of the privy covered with puke before his first MindHealer appointment. Tavi sighed inwardly.

When his question of his status didn't bring an immediate answer, Tavi looked up from the dregs of his tea to look uneasily over at the Healer. The man was looking at him in that inscrutable way MindHealers had, the one that Tavi would've given a limb to know what was going on behind. He blinked a few times, swallowed, and looked back down at his cup. If he knew Aledrade was feeling compassionate, he would've mistaken it for pity and been angry, both at the man and himself for allowing someone to feel sorry for him and putting himself in the position for it to happen. For Tavi, pity was as bad as someone throwing a fist. It was something he couldn't do anything about and it made people stare at him and nudge their friends so they stared at him too.

When the man finally did reply, the answer was both enlightening and disappointing. Healer Ale didn't think Tavi was bad himself, but wouldn't actually say so if he was, which was a little confusing. But the gist of it seemed to be that Healer Ale didn't think... didn't think anyone was really bad, or just bad in the way Tavi meant? His face was hopeful during the first sentence and then fell during the second, then became chagrinned during after 'the reason is'. He waited till the man was done and then cried, "But nothing really bad ever happened to me! I'm the one who beats everyone up! That's the whole point!"

Tavi rested his head in one palm, deflated. His voice was softer the next time he spoke, staring at his feet. "Isn't it? The other kids just... just tease a little and I'm punching their lights out."

And then they got back at him for it, and he went to pieces. It made no sense to him. Tavi was filled with guilt over his fights, even though they felt wonderful at the time and cleared his head somewhat. He was a bad person, no matter what Healer Ale thought. Anger and shame over their teasing, guilt over how he dealt with it. Despair over not being able to change any of that.

"And no, I'm not going to have to talk to your mom and dad about this. I won’t have to unless we discuss something that directly pertains to their safety, hm?"

Tavi leaned back on the couch and sighed. "That's sumthin, I s'pose."

"Now. I want you to try and relax. Close your eyes and try focusing on your breathing for a few moments. Remember. There is no stigma here. I'm not going to laugh or judge anything you say."

Tavi pushed himself back against the couch till he sat straighter and tucked one foot under the opposing knee. His hands rested on his thighs and he closed his eyes. For a moment his brow furrowed, drawing his eyebrows closer together and making a dimple between them. Then his expression smoothed and he exhaled. One of his hands gripped the bottom of his shirt lightly.

"Now... the first word is 'Green'."

"Healer."

[Aledrade Naoise]

"But nothing really bad ever happened to me! I'm the one who beats everyone up! That's the whole point!"

Ale was once again startled by his patient's quick transformation from quiet and withdrawn to extroverted. He brought his pale eyes back to his patient, and once again just observed him for a little while. A myriad of emotions were roiling on the freckled face of the young boy. Ale spotted guilt, fear, sorrow, and perhaps a little more than that, all in quick succession. Well now. That was one way to get right to the issue of things. Ale actually quite liked it. Even when Tavi was yelling he wasn't rude like certain people he knew.

"Alright, let's put it this way then. No. I don't think you in particular are a bad person. I don't think you even have it in you to be the sort of bad person you're asking me if you are. You see, Tavi, you have a conscience. That's what makes you feel bad after a fight. As long as you have that you can never be bad." Ale felt his way intuitively through his explanation, using his gut to steer him toward what the boy really needed to hear. He hoped he had gotten it right, because he refused to lie to his patient and anything more might have tread dangerously on that ground. He couldn't tell Tavi that he was a saint, because no one was, by the same token that no one was really "bad". Well, very few people were, that was. Nor could Ale really tell Tavi that he just had a bad habit. Hitting people was a bad reflex, even when goaded into it, that surpassed "Bad habit" by just a little. Just a little though. It was almost amusing, he thought in retrospect, how he could think like this when with a patient... or anyone else, but the moment he was in front of Evan Walker all that "no one is bad" reasoning flew out the window. Usually with his self control on it's heels.

The mind healer made a mental note as he watched Tavi adjust to be more comfortable on the couch that this was one of the ways he sat when he was comfortable. He'd keep that in mind for later. A small smile quirked the corner of his lips as he saw the young boy's hand lightly gripping the bottom of his rust-red shirt. It was adorable, not that he'd ever tell him that. Somehow he imagined that it would go over about as well as telling Evan Walker that he was adorable. In short, death, destruction, and mass hysteria.

Okay, well, maybe not quite THAT extreme... from Tavi, that is. It would definitely be that bad with Healer Walker.

After he had spoken the first word, the bard trainee quickly replied with "Healer". That was quite common, almost as common as it was for people outside of Valdemar to associate green with grass. There was little to read into behind that association, and he had the feeling Tavi knew that, at least intuitively. That was good, because it would help Tavi relax and settle into the game without worrying about being analyzed. Knowing this, Ale slowly launched into the rest of the "control" questions, the ones that had no meaning other than to settle the patient into the rhythm.

"Red."

"White."

"Gray."

As he spoke, Ale kept his questions to a slow, steady rhythm, like a song without the music. That was it for the control questions. Now it was time to tread into the words that were slightly more loaded.

“Blue.”

“Friend.”

He began, locking his eyes on the wall above Tavi so he could watch him without giving Tavi the feeling he was being watched. This was the time when a quick intake of breath, extended rapid breathing, frowning or fidgiting would begin to whisper little secrets to Ale.

[Tavi Crebshaw]

"Alright, let's put it this way then. No. I don't think you in particular are a bad person. I don't think you even have it in you to be the sort of bad person you're asking me if you are. You see, Tavi, you have a conscience. That's what makes you feel bad after a fight. As long as you have that you can never be bad."

Tavi chewed on that for a moment, trying to find fault with the reasoning. The first one was that he firmly believed everyone had a conscience. Even Jackson Thorphouse the Fifth. It just depended on what you were taught was wrong and how strongly the lesson had taken. Some of the kids in his neighborhood didn't think anything of bumping a passing cart and scooping the fallen goods up to snack on, and some of them screamed bloody murder. In that particular case Tavi often bumped himself, but bumped the vendor who's cart was about to be pillaged and just nodded towards the fallen buns or fruit. He didn't believe this made him better or more moral than the other kids who stole, he just believed if he'd been a vendor he'd want the same consideration. Tavi was often his very best when no words had to be exchanged by either party to get an idea across, but those situations were mighty scarce.

He wanted to point out he fought anyway, and that was still bad, but he thought it might be for another session.

And telling Tavi he was adorable wouldn't bring out the short sword, but would cause him incredible pain to his tender male pride. Neither twin had been graced with that description in many, many years and Tavi would wonder if Healer Ale was either feeling alright or needed something done to correct his vision.

But, onto the 'game'. Was it really?

"Red."

"Blood." A frown, and a twitch near his right eyebrow.

"White."

"Clean." A sigh. Thinking of all that time in the laundry scrubbing clothes.

"Gray."

"Rain." A snatch of smile. Tavi liked rainy days.

“Blue.”

"Guard." A smile on the edge of his mouth. Training with the Guards was definitely one of his favorite things.

“Friend.”

The smile vanished and that little dimple reappeared between his bunched eyebrows. Tavi's jaw jutted from his chin for just a second before he said, "Ha."

[Aledrade Naoise]

"Blood."

Tavi's first response gave Ale a pause. That was… unusual. Most people when asked to associate the color red thought of fire, bards, apples… something much more… calm. Occasionally he got a "anger", but rarely did he get "blood." Interesting.

"Clean."

Accompanied with a sigh, that response brought a small smile to Ale's face. The healer could only imagine which dull task the boy had been set to with orders "scrub it until it's white." He himself remembered chores like that. Scrubbing floors as a punishment came to mind, with his mother had often ordered him to scrub their plain wood floor until it was white… which was an impossible task, of course. Ale shook off the memories and returned his attention to his patient.

In quick succession the boy continued with, "Rain." A small smile, some relaxation, rain was something he liked. Ale filed that information away for later. A moment after "Rain" came "Guard", which brought an even bigger smile to the boy's face. Guards. What was it Tavi liked about the guards, especially? Ale would have to ask, later. All of a sudden the boy was glowering, body tensing all over again. It took Ale a moment to catch his single syllable response to 'Friend'. "Ha." Well. That wasn't good. A myriad of thoughts filtered through Ale's head. Was he expressing scorn at the idea of trusting someone, or the idea of someone wanting to be friends with him? That was another topic he'd have to work on.

"Right. Just a few more now." Ale gave Tavi a small smile before clearing his throat and beginning again, working from the list of what he had just learned.

"Safe."

"Angry."

"Fire."

"Blankets."

Ale paused and considered the last word, putting thought into it for several moments before he continued, carefully shaping the syllables.

"True."

There. That was a word loaded with subtext if there ever was one. He waited, sternly reminding himself to not tense with excitement. After all, he didn't want to give Tavi the impression that playing mind games was something Ale enjoyed. Even if it was, technically, true. As he waited for Tavi to respond he considered his own responses to the questions. 'Safe'. His garden, and 'angry' … well, Healer Evan. 'fire' Kyedash, for some odd reason. He paused to consider that association, wondering why that would be the first thing to leap into his head. Kye wasn't even a fire starter. Odd. 'Blankets'. Blankets made him think of laundry, and his mother's hut far away in the town he had grown up. The word also made him think of the scent of lye and fresh laundry, sunshine and the babbling of the river not far away. All and all, the thought of blankets was very comforting.

And true. True made him think of healing… the gift of healing never lied and never wavered. That, he thought, was real truth.

[Tavi Crebshaw]

Being a brawler, Tavi saw blood almost every day and a great deal of it wasn't even his. It was a much more concrete thing than the scarlet of the Bard robes or the red of apples.

"Right. Just a few more now."

Tavi nodded, eyes closed, and straightened a little.

"Safe."

"Night." It was the only time of day Tavi was alone (though with Sid) and no one was picking on him. He said it with a sigh.

"Angry."

"Fight." Logical conclusion there. Spoken without inflection, though rather flat, as if it were the only ending to the scenario.

"Fire."

"Water." Deeply ingrained, the response to a fire. Mama and Pa had drilled all the children on how to put one out, with the water bucket in the kitchen.

"Blankets."

Tavi paused for a beat and opened his eyes. No response formed and for a moment he was thrown. "Blankets?"

Then he blinked. "Uh. Sorry." He tried to sit back again but instead sat on the edge of the couch trying to get his mood back.

"Blankets," he said. First word. No thinking. "Hot."

Too many blankets was so stifling, and Tavi ran rather hot and was content with just one in the winter. He shrugged unconsciously, thinking of layers and how uncomfortable they made him.

"True."

That one was easy and Tavi answered immediately. "Nothing." There was no bitterness in it, just matter of fact.

Nothing was true, really. Everything changed. Trees weren't always green, people didn't stay the same, history was written by the winners. You couldn't be sure of anything.

[Aledrade Naoise]

"Night."

Night. Now there was an interesting thing to find safe. Most people were scared of the night, or rather the dark that came with the night. Ale made a mental note to sketch out a few ideas as for why Tavi would find the night time safer. He made an additional mental note that he should move their appointments up later in time if Tavi felt safer later in the day. Perhaps after classes and chores. Well past Ale's normal operating hours, but he had done more for the cause of a patient than that before.

"Fight"

Well, that was something of a given considering Tavi's less than stellar habits. It was a response that Ale would have to work on with the boy, but in and of itself it held little information Ale had not already gleaned from the young Bardic Trainee. The next question and response were much the same. Water in response to fire, pretty standard as answers to this game went, just as "warm" and "burn" were also normal responses.

"Hot."

Ale winced. He hadn't meant to throw Tavi off of his rhythm like that. He'd have to be more careful with the off-the-wall questions from now on, no matter how deeply into the game they were. It took the boy a few seconds to come up with an answer to the question, but when he did it wasn't what Ale expected. Hot. Why hot? From too many blankets, perhaps? Blankets during the summer? Something else entirely? Intriguing, but it didn't seem laced with any strong emotions.

"Nothing."

Now that was a response that gave Ale quite a bit of insight. Nothing. The freckled youngster before Ale thought that there was no truth in the world. How did the child grow to be so jaded? What had happened that had formed such an insight on life and it's workings?

"All right." Ale stretched a little, checking the candles around the room and noting that most had melted at least a third of the way down. The first session always seemed to fly by. The healer winced a little as something popped, and he noted that he wasn't getting any younger. Sitting in a wooden chair for hours at a time might not be the best thing for him any longer. Time to get some pillows.

"Well, I think we've covered a great deal of ground today. You must be pretty hungry by now." Ale smiled, rising slowly from his seat as to not startle his patient. He grabbed a pen and jotted down a quick request to the kitchens that they give Tavi a little bit of ginger or mint to take back to his room with him after dinner to help with the nausea. He privately hoped that the session had been relaxing enough for the boy that he wouldn't have any fits of illness until the next day at least, but it was better not to take any chances.

"Here. Give this to the cooks when you stop by, if you don't mind. I'll send a note before our next appointment to let you know the date and time. It will probably be the day after tomorrow, sometime after your classes." Ale passed the boy the piece of paper and smiled as Tavi made his way out. No sooner had the boy left the room than did Ale drop onto the couch the child had just vacated. He had a lot to think about before the next session.