Group: UHW Hall of Fame
Member No.: 18
Joined: 16-February 05
The fans are pumped from the opening fireworks. A bell is sounded and Ashley stands present in the ring. "Gonna Fly Now" from Rocky hits the P.A
Ash: The next match is sheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from the colonel's chicken patch, the one and only, the original, MOTHMAN!
DF: Here comes Mothman!
Mothman runs down the isleway flapping his arms rapidly. He circles the ring, crowing at the fans
JS: Look at him go! You know Denzel, I always wondered what the secret recipe in the colonel's chicken was....
DF: I don't wana know....
Mothman slides into the ring and starts shaking the ropes
JS: Well theres something familiar...
DF: Ha! I wonder if hes changed his name to Mothman too...
His music stops. "Waterloo" by ABBA hits the P.A. Richard Hard rides out on a donkey. Ashley can be heard in the background
DF: Richard Hard, a young man from texas. This isnt his first pay per view appearance.
JS: Look at him go!
the donkey goes out of control and throws Hard off. Hard climbs into the ring, as ring crew take the donkey backstage
JS: AWW! BRING BACK THE DONK!
DF: You watched too much My little Pony didn't you?
"Dragostea Din Tei" by O-Zone hits the P.A. The crowd stand screaming.
Ash: Making their entrance to the ring, accompanied by Gary Brolsma, The Incredible Parody and Mr. G!
Parody comes out wearing a bandana, a fake beard, red tights, yellow boots and a weight lifting belt. Mr G (Guido) has a wig on resembling Mr T's haircut, a feather in his ear, gold chains and a beard. Gary stands between them, pumping hard to the theme music.
DF: My god...
DF: Parody and Guido, parodying the legend Hulk Hogan and Mr T.
JS: Look at the crowd Denzel. Theyre really digging these guys!
DF: It seems that Parody and Guido are the fan favourites here.
The trio walk to the ring doing the numa numa dance. The crowd sing along with the words, doing the actions too
Crowd: Mai a hi, Mai a huu, Mai a ha, Mai a ha ha!
Guido grabs a mic from ringside and climbs into the ring. Mothman and Hard stand on the other side of the ring. The music stops. The crowd are all buzzing
JS: What a reaction!
DF: In all my years in this industry, that was one hell of a pop for the duo
Guido points at Mothman. Gary leaves.
Guido: Im gunna put my foot up your ass fool! Aint no big bird gunna scare me mate, you look at me fool i give you a swift kickbox to the head mate
He hands the mic to Parody
Parody: NOW LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING SISTER, YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR VITAMINS AND SAY YOUR PRAYS CAUSE WHATCHA GUNA DO! WHATCHA GUNNA DO SISTER! WHEN PARODY RUNS WILD ON YOU!!!
The crowd all cheer, as Parody flexes his muscles. He drops the mic. Guido stays in the ring, as Parody goes to his corner. Mothman goes to his corner
DF: The match seems to be on its way, with Guido and Hard starting off.
JS: Whats Hard wearing? A flamingo?
The two shuffle around in the ring. Hard locks Guido into a headlock. Guido counters and locks his back. Hard breaks free and runs into the ropes. Guido lays flat on the ground as Hard jumps him. Hard goes for a clothesline, but Guido counters. Hard arm drags Guido across the ring. Guido gets up and arm drags Hard. The two stop and stare at eachother
DF: Perfect arm drags there from Guido and Hard.
JS: Are they pom poms?
DF: FORGET ABOUT THE ATTIRE!
Guido locks up with Hard, backing him into a corner. He climbs ontop of him and raises his fist. The crowd start chanting 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9. Guido winds it up and hits no 10
DF: Guido, with the crowd behind him.
JS: Guido is a master of the ring. Hes a black belt in karate, trained in Mexico and performed in UFC fights across the globe. Guido is a dangerous man in that ring.
DF: So you keep telling me.
Guido irish whips Hard into the opposite corner. He runs and splashes him. He repositions Hard, and executes a moonsault kick
DF: Impressive! Guido, hitting that moonsault kick on Hard.
JS: That must of knocked the wind out of him.
Guido arm drags Hard onto the mat. He applys pressure, then stands up and hits a dropkick to Hard's shoulders
DF: Nice dropkick there by Guido.
Guido goes for his signature move, the "kickbox to the head", but Hard dodges and hits him with a clothesline
DF: Guido going for the early knockout, but Hard pulled a clothesline out of nowhere on him.
Hard tags in Mothman, who gets mad at being tagged in
JS: Ha! Seems big bird doesnt want to fight tonight
Mothman gets into the ring. He squarks like a skipping cd player as he flaps his wings
JS: Hahah! The birds on heat!
Mothman charges towards Guido, whose on the ropes climbing to his feet. Mothman does a shoulder block, knocking the greek god down. Mothman pounds his chest furiously, and climbs ontop of Guido
DF: Dear lord!
JS: HES ROOTING HIM!
The crowd all laugh as Mothman bones Guido. Guido screams helpless as the big bird climbs off him. Guido crawls rapidly to the corner, tagging in Parody. Parody springboards over the ropes, landing on Mothman's shoulders
DF: The quick style of Parody, may just take down the bird.
Parody sunset flips over mothman, rolling him up. Mothman and Parody get up. Parody ducks a vicious clothesline, and hits a downward spiral
DF: Parody with the downward spiral!
JS: The big man goes down!
Mothman rolls onto his back. Parody climbs the turnbuckle, bounces off the rope onto the other rope and hits a moonsault
DF: Spring moonsault!
JS: Tribute to the legendary Sabu.
DF: He's gone for the cover, 1...2...no!
Frustrated, Parody pulls the bird to his feet. He locks in a reverse DDT, but Mothman counters with an elbow. Parody shoves him off, falling through the ropes.
DF: Mothman here at ringside now, regrouping from the HOLY SHIT!
Parody leaps over the rope performing a corkscrew moonsault onto the giant bird
JS: Perfect move executed by UHW's lampoon!
Hard and Guido jump into the ring. Back and forth, the two exchange hits and blows. Guido downs Hard with a vicious chop. He sets him up for the buzzsaw kick and connects. Hard rolls under the ropes to the outside
JS: This match is out of control...i like it
DF: Guido hitting Hard with that brutal buzzsaw kick. Parody back in the ring now.
James Coe starts the 10 count. Mothman, now bleeding under his eye, slides into the ring. Parody bounces off the ropes. Mothman goes for a clothesline, but Parody counters with a spear.
DF: Nice spear from Parody. He makes the tag with Guido
Guido runs into the ring, and hits a elbow drop onto Mothman. Hard slowly gets up onto the apron. Hes holding the back of his head. Blood can be seen running down his forearm from his hands
JS: Looks like Hard took a nasty kick from Guido.
Guido stomps on Mothman's head. Mothman pulls himself up from the ropes, and starts to "Hulk" up. He flaps his wings rapidly, squarking at Guido
DF: Mothman! He's got that fire in his eyes!
JS: Looks like hes deep fried to me...
Mothman irish whips Guido into the corner, following him up with a clothesline. He signals for the K.F.C-W. Guido fires out of the corner, hitting the referee instead of Mothman. Mothman rolls him up with a school boy
DF: James Coe is out! Whose gunna call the match?! Get someone out here now!
Mothman pulls Guido up, and sets him up for the Kentucky Fried Chicken-Wing. Parody slides into the ring with a steel chair, and cracks it over Mothman's head. He throws the evidence out of the ring and returns to his post. Hard runs towards Guido, but is blindsided by a shuffle side kick. Guido picks up the downed Mothman, and irish whips into Parody. Parody pulls his legs and locks on the Bret Hart Figure Four around the corner post. Mothman squarks in pain. He lets go as James Coe comes too. Mothman gets up, limping.
DF: Disqualify him now!
A wire appears from the roof. It drops down and Mothman locks it onto a harness on him. The rope pulls him up and starts swinging him around the arena.
Guido tags Parody in. Hard is left alone in the ring. Mothman is heard screaming. His electronic eyes malfunction and start sparking. He disappears from sight. Hard goes to hit Parody with a toe kick, but is countered with a dragon whip.
DF: ...Parody counters with the Dragon whip!
JS: Look at that Kentucky Fried Bird fly!!!!
Parody locks The Lampoon on and bends right back. Hard screams in pain and starts to black out
DF: THE LAMPOON!
JS: I liked those movies...oh wait! Look at his back! My god....
Coe rings the bell. Parody lets go and raises his arms in victory. Guido steps through the ropes and celebrates with him.
Ash: The winner of this bout, Parody & Guido!
A low rider is driven out onto the stage. Parody and Guido get into it as their new theme song "Lie, Cheat & Parody" hits the P.A. They throw candy out to the crowd as they return backstage
DF: What the hell was that all about...
JS: ...I Lie, I Cheat, I Parody!....
DF: Anyway, the crowd looks solid here tonight lets take a look at the next match...
A promo airs