Emma's random Fanfic moments

[Harry Potter]

Leaving the past behind, chapter 7


“Who is that?” Hermione asked, as Draco helped her up. She was a little scared of him touching her but he was a friend of Harry's, and she trusted Harry.




“Michael Ferris. Seventh Year Slytherin,” Harry said.




“Wanna be Malfoy.” Ron added.




“Future Death Eater,” Malfoy commented.




“Ironic, coming from you,” Ron shot back.




“Shut it Weasley,” Draco said.




“Why don't you make me, Malfoy?” Ron challenged.




“Boys! This is hardly the time! Get off of each other. You know better than that.” Hermione exclaimed,

[Harry Potter]

Love stays the same chap 9



When Sirius stepped forward, the Jarvy said without hesitation, “Your mother’s so fat that when she fell down the Grand canyon, she got stuck!”




“I know” said Sirius simply. The Jarvy hadn’t been expecting this, and looked confused, before continuing.


“You’re so ugly that when you were born, the healer hit your mother!” said the Jarvy.




“Hope it hurt.”




“You can take that mask off, Halloweens over!”




“Actually, Halloween hasn’t been yet” said Sirius, and again, the Jarvy looked perplexed.




“Ugly people shouldn’t talk- that means be quiet, you.”




Sirius sighed, over dramatically. “Would someone get this ferret a pair of glasses- he’s obviously blind if he’s calling me ugly.”



One of the girls wolf whistled, and Sirius waved his hands around as if to say ‘see my point?’




The Jarvy bared it’s teeth, and obviously getting annoyed at the lack of response “When you were little did you by any chance fall down the stairs?”




“No… I lived in a one-story house- why?”

[Harry Potter]

Sirius’ face plainly said ‘and I care...why?’ before he turned to Mia “So how do you like Hogwarts? Enjoying the scenery?” Sirius added winking.

“Hogwarts is great, and I love living in the heart of the mountains” she replied, purposely ignoring the intended meaning to his words. Sirius pouted whilst Remus and Harriet sniggered.

“What about you Harriet?” asked Remus after they had calmed down.

“It’s so... different here” Harriet paused, before adding slyly “But I also am enjoying the scenery” she winked at Sirius and he grinned smugly. “See Moony! No one can resist the almighty sex god that is Sirius Black!”

Harriet feigned surprise. “But I was talking about Remus!” she said trying to keep a straight face.

Remus’ eyes widened, and he scooted away from Harriet, closer to Mia, until he was practically sitting on her lap.

Sirius and Harriet shared a glance and burst out laughing.

“Oh Remus I was kidding!” Harriet said in between giggles.

“Besides” added Sirius “you seem to have made yourself comfortable.”

It was then that Remus realized what, or more appropriately who, he was sitting on.

“Sorry Mia” he said, blushing faintly.

“Quite all right Remus, I’d be trying to get as far away as possible from those two as well” Mia said smiling.

[Harry Potter]

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you Bella.” Sirius said mildly

“And why not Sirius?” sneered Narcissa.

“Because McGonagall’s right behind you”

“Yeah, sure the old bat is. That’s the oldest trick in the book!” Bella laughed derisively.

“Ahem.”

The Slytherins turned as one to see the Head of Gryffindor standing behind them, an angry expression plastered across her face.

“Shit.” muttered Regulus, hastily stashing his wand away.

“Language Mr Black!” barked McGonagall.

Sirius started. “What!? I didn’t say- oh you mean Reg.”

[Harry Potter]

“Oh, right. Lily, will you go to the Halloween Dance with me?”

“You know... I think I might” she smiled.

“YES! I’m taking the prettiest girl in the school to the dance!”

Lily blushed, and Sirius said, “One of them, mate, one of them.”

James raised an eyebrow, sitting back down next to Lily.

Sirius grinned, and nodded slightly to Remus, who was taking a sip of his drink, then to Mia. James chuckled, but shook his head. “Don’t do it Sirius…”

Sirius ignored James. “Well… Mia for one”

Mia turned a bright red; and Remus started choking on his butterbeer. Mia hastily turned to Remus and started patting him on the back as he caught his breath.

[Harry Potter]

Sirius glanced pleadingly at Remus, who just shook his head unhelpfully and gave a sympathetic smile. He turned back to Harry. “Um... please don’t hate me? LilywasgoingoutwithSnape”

It did not take Harry long to figure out what his Godfather had said.

“MY MUM DATED A DEATH EATER!?” yelled Harry in disbelief

“YOUR MUM DATED A DEATH EATER!?” shouted Ron in disgust

“OUR MUM DATED A … no, wait” said Fred and George, who had gotten caught up in the excitement.

[Harry Potter]

"All right, ten thousand times now. Just once I'd like to hear someone say 'I never would have suspected it, I'm completely shocked and I think you're all wrong for each other.'"

Snape arched an eyebrow. "Well, I never would have suspected it."

Harry nodded to him. "Thank you, Snape. I knew I could count on you."

[Harry Potter]

"Hmm, I bet someone got a good workout this morning," Laura said airily, dropping a wink at Hermione.

"I can neither confirm nor deny that theory," Harry said, smirking. Sirius smiled, shaking his head.

Justin looked at Harry for a moment, then broke into a huge grin and clapped his hands together in front of him like a cheerleader. "Yay!" he chirped. "Harry's home! Happy happy Harry day!"

George cocked an eyebrow, chuckling at Justin's ebullience. "You know, sometimes I think you just revel in your gayness."

Justin shrugged. "Don't knock it until you try it, Georgie-boy."

"In your dreams, Fairy Princess."

"Oh, back in your kennels, both of you," Laura scolded them. "Like a pair of old skanks in a nail salon, you are."

"Honey, remember when we were talking about moving back to London? Let's talk it about again," Harry said to Hermione, winking.

"You can't move back to London, who'd provide endless fodder for my witty repartee?" Justin protested.

"Oh, Justin. You could make witty repartee about the parlor sofa," Hermione said. She put a hand on her chest and rolled her eyes heavenward in an eerily accurate imitation of Justin. "'Dahling, we must discuss that slipcover. How many times do I have to tell you that sea-foam green is not your color? Friends don't let friends wear brocade, you know. I mean, really...it's just so Margaret Thatcher.'" By the time she was done the entire table was holding their stomachs with laughter.

[Harry Potter]

Giggling, she shoved him away and got up, rubbing her eyes. "Geroff me, you horny little bastard."

"Ahem. My parents were married, I'll remind you." He looked up at her, batting his eyelashes and striking a pose while reclining amongst the rumpled bedsheets. "Oh, come on. How can you resist this fine specimen of masculinity before you?"

She looked around wildly. "Sukesh? Where?"

Harry gasped and jumped off the bed, grabbing her about the waist and grinning ear to ear. "Ooh, I'll have to drive all thoughts of that poking and prodding git out of your head or die trying."

She kissed him firmly. "I'll have to take a rain check." She looked at him, amused. "You're certainly more energetic than you were last night."

"It's amazing what a good night's sleep in the arms of a beautiful woman can do for one's outlook on life."

[Harry Potter]

Sirius suddenly snapped his fingers. “I know! Since no girl is my type, I’ll go gay!” He turned and grabbed James’s hands. “James, my love, will you be gay with me?”

James grinned. “Certainly, ma cherie.” He replied jokingly.

“We can’t forget dear Remus and Peter!” Sirius swiveled so he had an arm around Remus. “Will you join us in our gayness, Rem and Pete?”

Peter squeaked and tried to hide himself while Remus merely smiled as he pulled the offending hand away. “Sorry, Sirius, as of two minutes ago I became asexual.”

James sighed mournfully. “I guess it’s just you and me, Sirius. Just us and our gay love--“ He froze in his speech when a familiar female voice broke through.

”It’s a shame, you know. All the good ones are either gay or taken.” Lily tisked and shook her head.

The girl walking with her nodded. “Yes, or in this case, both.”

Remus and Peter burst into a fit of laughter as James chased down Lily trying to convince her he wasn’t gay at all. Sirius was hot on his heels, waving a fist in the air as he yelled ‘You two-timer! See if I ever let you in my bed after this one!’

[Harry Potter]

“Wow.”

”I know, isn’t she great?” James turned the page in the magazine and both he and Sirius whistled appreciatively.

“Nice.”

”Very.”

”You know, stuff this great should be illegal.”

James grinned. “Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?”

Remus snorted as he turned a page in his potions book. “Everything’s all fun and games until someone gets arrested.”

”Come on, Remmy, don’t be a spoiled sport. Come look, see!”

The boy shook his head. “No thanks.”

Peter perked up. “What are you looking at?”

Sirius and James grinned wickedly. “Dirty magazines! You should see these beauties! I want one of these girls, name her Buela, and ride her all night long.”

Peter squeaked before his eyes rolled and he dropped into a faint.

Remus stood with a scowl. “Oh! You two! Let me see that!” With that, he stomped across the room and loomed over the two troublemakers.

”Okay! You asked for it.” At that, Sirius shoved said magazine into his face.

’What in Merlin’s beard...’

There, before his eyes, instead of seeing chicks and thongs, Remus saw a motorcycle with shiny wheels, a shiny seat, and well, shiny everything. On the top of the page was written “NEWEST MODEL. LIMITED EDITION” in screaming red letters.

It was a joke. It was a bloody joke, and he fell for it. And apparently, as he spared a glance at the fourth marauder, so had Peter.

“Beauty, isn’t she?” Sirius gave a dreamy sigh.

Remus scowled. He grabbed the booklet, rolled it up, and gave both boys a good, loud smack before stomping away.

[Harry Potter]

“Uh oh.”

”Remmy, my boy, is that what I think it is?”

”It...it appears to be a Howler.”

Indeed, it was a Howler. Unsigned, it laid innocently on his empty plate, which normally was heaping with pancakes, hash browns, and bacon. Obviously, this wasn’t normal because one; Remus’s plate was void of food and two; Remus got a Howler.

Oh good golly, the world was going to end.

“Open it!” James urged impatiently, glee covering every inch of his face. “Wait, maybe we should fetch Sirius. He’d LOVE to see this.”

Remus frowned. “No, he’d enjoy it too much.” He hesitantly reached for the red envelope when it suddenly flew into the air and transformed into an angry, snarling mouth.

“REMUS J. LUPIN, YOU BLOODY WANKER! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! OH NO, I WAS WRONG. YOU BLOODY PRAT, YOU INTENTIONALLY DIDN’T GO TO HOGSMEAGE WITH US SO WE’D OVER STUFF OURSELVES WITH SWEETS AND GET SICK, WASN’T IT? YOU WANKER! NOW I’M STUCK IN THE INFIRMARY WITH MISS PEACHY WHO WON’T HEAL ME BUT WILL WITH EVERYONE ELSE! YOU WANKER! I’LL REMEMBER THIS! YOU PRAT, I’LL HAVE MY REVENGE!”

Finally, the letter sputtered, shriveled, and exploded into a pile of confetti. Remus was distraught while James and Peter found this overly amusing.

”I’m going to kill him.”

”If you do, mind if I have his worldly possessions?”

[Harry Potter]

"Come ON Jen! The fricken Volcano is gonna blow.."

"Dude..." She hopped on. "Where's Nick?"

"He's already at Chicken Finger Island.." Joe said, driving the chair around.

"Chicken Finger Island? Sounds dangerous." Jen looked over the edge and saw the Lava running in a little line.

"It is..It's full of dancing Chicken fingers that know Kung Fu..." She looked around and pointed to the ground.

"STOP! We MUST SAVE ZE GOBLIN!" Joe looked at her like she was mental.

"Whatever you say..." He landed the piece of lawn furniture and the goblin hopped on.

"Gun due n furt hern hem jekroffed." Joe nodded.

"Contentuionmen."

"Okay what?"

"He asked if we were taking him to Chicken Finger Island. I said Yes."

"Since WHEN do you speak Goblin?!"

"That wasn't Goblin.." Joe said.

"That was Joe.." Kevin said shaking his head. She looked over at him and sighed. When did he put a shirt on? That was the only good part about this dream...Just then the Goblin shoved Joe off the edge and did the same with Kevin.

"EVIL BASTARD!" She hit the little devil with a shovel. Where did I get a shovel? She swung down and caught Joe and Kevin just before they hit the lava. Where did I learn how to drive a chair?!

"Move!" Joe grabbed the joystick and continued driving. He looked behind them and saw the Goblin thing gaining on them riding a gas can.

"Oh crap..." Jen ducked as the little Devil sprayed them with cheese.

"AAAAAHHH!" Joe covered his head and ducked.

"JOE!" Kevin crawled over to his baby brother. "I need a candy bar!"

"Er why? It's just cheese..."

"Which could KILL him if not reversed with Chocolate!"

"Fine jeese..." She handed him a chocolate bar. Meanwhile the Goblin had climbed on and was now driving the chair. Joe ate a piece of the chocolate and jumped up, kicking the goblin and tossing it into the volcano.

"IT LIVES!" Jen said punching the air. Not long after that they arrived at Chicken Finger Island.

"We are here..." Jen looked around.

"Seems peaceful.." She looked down the beach and saw Nick round the corner being chased by a bunch of..you guessed it..Chicken fingers. It was just like the Johnny Depp Scene with the cannibals in Pirates two.

"Deja Vu.." Kevin mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Major..." Jen said. Joe grabbed both their hands and started running down the beach.

"RUN FOR YOUR FAT FREE CHICKEN INDUCED LIVES!" Jen looked behind her at the Kung fu fighting Chicken fingers.

"WHOA!" She got pulled into the jungle by yet another goblin. She looked at it. "What are you doing?"

"Feeding you to the Kung Fu Fighters." Kung Fu Fighters? This does not sound good at all...She was dragged into a clearing and was surrounded by the Kung Fu Fighters...

"You will now be chickenfied!"

"You mean ChickenFried?" She said, laughing. The Kung Fu Fighters jumped her and sent her running out of the jungle and straight into Kevin.

"What HAPPENED to you?" He asked looking at her torn clothed and bruised shins.

"Six words..." She said breathing heavily. "Stupid Kung Fu Fighting Chicken Fingers." Joe burst out laughing.

[Harry Potter]

Some random hockey fanfic. =D

He smiled standing up and pulling me up with him. “Good. How much longer until You Know Who comes to pick you up?”

I pushed Jordan, “Are you honestly referring to him like that?” I groaned shaking my head at the twenty year old.

Jordan nodded smirking at me. “Would you prefer He Who Must Not Be Named?”

[Harry Potter]

from an avatar fanfic i've been hooked on


"We'll just tell them we came from the play," Suki insisted. "Obviously, we're in costume. Or, you guys are. No one would recognize Toph or myself."

Toph opened her mouth and screamed soundlessly in Suki's direction.

"What are you doing!?" the girl demanded, flustered.

"Getting into character," Toph explained. "There, see? I got a pretty good look at you."

What seemed to be a tense silence erupted into full blown laughter with Zuko leading with his snicker. Sokka's was second in volume and sheer hilarity at the way he laughed.

"Toph," Sokka wheezed, "I thought you said the play was bogus. Why are you trying to see with your mouth? There's no such thing as a sonic blast, you know."

"I don't know," Toph shrugged. "I just really wanted to try it."

"So is there?" Aang asked playfully.

"Is there what?" Toph pushed.

"A sonic wave from your mouth that allows you to see stuff?"

"Oh. No." The blind girl huffed in disappointment.