Grave Arfang, A lot better than the first one...I hope

(First of all, thank you for even viewing this page. I know, I'm just trying to suck up to get some comments...Allright, I put a lot of work into this, so I hope it was worth it...If not, I will shotgun my own foot off.)


Name: Grave Arfang

Nicknames: Calls himself the “Sexy version of god himself “, but most people refer to him as “The flying idiot.”

Species: Hedgehog (Anthropomorphic, meaning similar to a human in body and mind but with animal traits, or if you prefer, “Sonic style.”)

Gender: Male

Age: 16

General size:
-Height: 3ft 7”
-Weight: 86 lbs

Physical appearance: Grave is athletically built but still somewhat short and scrawny. He has fairly broad shoulders but isn’t beefy. Tends to always be relaxed when standing, which leads him to look like a slouch unless he’s fighting or making an effort requiring speed or strength. He has silver-grey fur and red eyes with black corners of fur on the outer upwards corner of his eyes as well as black streaks that start near his wrists and reach the middle of his forearms. Grave has long, very spiky quills that are slightly messy with black streaks. Most of them stick straight up or diagonally, and one quill is particularly longer and thicker than the other ones. A few droop down like bangs but are quite a bit shorter. Grave always goes shirtless, showing off a patch of fur on his chest in the shape of an upside-down flame that is a dark purple color. Wears very baggy black jeans with a silver chain on the right pocket, a thin leather belt with a buckle in the shape of a crescent moon, dark purple color bracelets that seem to be made of crystal, white gloves with small black leather guards as well as black and white air shoes (Like Shadow the hedgehog’s). Sometimes wears a torn up black cape with a hood or a white and black coat with an emblem representing fire coming out from a crescent moon on the back, always unzipped to show his patch of purple chest fur.

IQ: 101

Dominant hand: Right-handed

Allergies: A tiny reaction to tulip pollen gives him slight congestion. He claims to be allergic to peanuts, but he really only hates the taste and smell of them.

Known relatives: Parents are both dead. Has an older brother named Arch currently trying to kill him. Fiancéed to Claire Matriach.

Date of birth: November 30th, year depends on RP settings.

Birthplace: Mount Karas, in the far south of Mobius.

History:
Born at the very summit of mount Karas during a lunar eclipse, Grave was subject as a host for a demon lord, Ravenus. He himself remembers very little of it, but recalls his first memory being surrounded by black flames and a storm of unusually colored lightning striking madly around him. Then, Ravenus entered his body, causing Grave to fall unconscious for seven days. Surviving thanks to Ravenus, Grave awakened as a child terrified of life, and even tried to kill himself by slicing his wrists when he was only a few months old. He was stopped however by Arch who grabbed the blade but it’s cutting edge and tossed it away. Arch didn’t cry even if he was just three, but instead showed him his scarred hands and said: “It hurts this much to see you sad.” This made Grave think things over and decided to give living a try.

Even as early as kindergarten, Grave had a lot of trouble making friends or even opening up. Other children usually beat him up or called him freak, demon kid or monster. Grave wouldn’t react, which would bring upon more beatings. Arch usually stepped in to defend him, which made Grave feel bad. After about a year of this, Grave finally begun standing up for himself. He accidentally fired a dark energy ball at a child one day though, sending his main bully to an emergency room. That day Grave learned about how serious the possession from Ravenus was. Luckily, a few cells from Ravenus’ original body were scattered into different people, causing Ravenus to be only at a fraction of his original power and to lay dormant until Grave would be flooded by rage. Traumatized by what he had did, Grave stayed locked himself in his room, and stayed there for near a week until Arch convinced him to come out and explained that it wasn’t his fault.

When Grave turned four, he witnessed a mysterious accident took place that would change his life. He returned home to see his father trying to kill his mother with a cleaver. Unsure about what was happening, Grave tried to stop his father only to be sent to the floor. He then heard his parents – both his father and mother – swear at him, call him a worthless child, a demons spawn…but what really pained Grave was to hear his brother was a coward who would run from Grave as soon as he saw the true him. Uncontrollable anger flowing through him, Ravenus was unleashed from within Grave, slaughtering his parents and reducing the surrounding area to a lifeless, barren wasteland.

After being unconscious for 9 hours due to Ravenus’s awakening, Grave awoke to find Arch staring at him with unusual eyes. He then explained that he was infected in part by Ravenus, which gave him the power to create mysterious illusions and bring the pain from them to life. He then told Grave he made their parents go mad, and then forced them to say those things to Grave only to confirm that Ravenus was really part of him. Bewildered by all this, Grave burst into tears, which led to more insults and torturous words from Arch. His last words were: “From this day forward, you are no longer a brother of mine, simply an abomination against anything that exists. I leave you seven hours to get away from me. If I ever find you, your death will be delivered by me.” Horrified, Grave ran away, and began his new life.

Grave soon encountered a group of modern-day bandits. Since Grave had a lot of talent at cooking and none of them were eating very well, they kept Grave under their wing as long as he made them meals and promised never to tell anybody about them. In exchange, the bandits provided shelter and protection for Grave. Very quickly, Grave became good friends with the thieves, and eventually overcame the original harshness for one another. The group’s leader Savel, taught Grave how to fight with a sword and his fists. A young girl named Merrici taught him all sorts of things he would have learned in school while Grave taught her how to cook and play chess.

One of the group’s members was much different, but perhaps the most effective for Grave. A woman named Verenya who everyone else said talked to demons, taught Grave how to manipulate his Dark energy without losing control to Ravenus. Grave learned slowly but surely to master the greatest extents of his awesome powers. Grave lived with Savel, Mericci, Verenya, the senior member Cain and the rest of the bandits until he turned ten…For on that day, something once again changed Grave’s life. Verenya attempted to summon a high level demon named Toragard.

Toragard was freed, and possessed Cain making Toragard and Cain’s sanities be destroyed. All that remained was some minor intelligence factors from each of them and permanent hunger. Cain assaulted Savel, Mericci as well as Grave, infecting them each with Toragard’s cells. This gave Grave mysterious Dark Overload form and further dark energy variations, and giving superhuman strength and speed to Savel and Mericci. Verenya was not infected as her intention of summoning Toragard out of Pandemonium and implanting him into Cain was the only reason she joined the bandits. She then proceeded to kill Mericci while Cain slaughthered all the remaining members aside Savel. His rampage enraged Grave once more. He transformed into Ravenus again, infecting Cain even more with Toragard’s cells granting him the ability to regenerate at insane speeds. He also brutally wounded Verenya, which left her with no more arms and an infection from Toragard which gave her control over ink. They fled, leaving Grave to recover alone, watched over by Savel.

Grave then left Savel, feeling this incident was all his fault. Savel understood, and as a parting gift, he left Grave with Cain’s old sword, Demon fang. Learning from this experience, Grave discovered that the easiest way to repress Ravenus’s strength was to remain positive and happy. So he then worked on staying light-headed, making jokes about anything and being a tad cocky, which eventually degenerated. Grave then went out to live in Blue ridge zone, and made himself a life as a mercenary, doing any deed he possibly could, be it fighting against thieves, acting as a bodyguard for a rich man or even as a night watch for a bank. Grave saved a lot of money, but treated himself to an expensive pair of jeans, white and black air shoes and a customized 286$ radio. His life continued as a small time mercenary…until he turned 14.

Grave was hired to fight in a massive war, called the White war. This war opposed the priests of Ahnelan against the great eastern republic, which attempted to destroy any religion in the world. They began with the Ahnelan religion, which was the largest religion in the east. The main temples were next to their country, which led to a surprise assault of great magnitude. Grave was sent there to defend the Anhelan churches, particularily the largest one named “Immacula Baland.” During his time there, he met a young priestess named Claire Matriach, who Grave was charged of keeping safe. However Claire’s intense hate for anything related to demons made things difficult and was often asked by Claire to leave or even to go back to hell before she would do it for him. Grave sucked it all in and managed to keep a smile on his face, aggravating Claire.

Though all of a sudden, an assault composed of heavy duty battle androids and soldiers armed with machineguns attacked the Immacula Baland, with very few people around to defend the church. Grave was fighting bravely, firing dark energy around everywhere, leading Claire to believe even more that he was nothing more than a demon. Though, later, after the attack, it was discovered that Claire was kidnapped by a supposed third party. Grave was dismissed from his job for failing the task of protecting the young miss Matriach, and ordered to leave the continent. Grave overheard that a rescue operation would be organised in a week, and decided to ignore orders and save Claire himself.

Single-handedly, Grave attacked a small fortress where Claire was said to be kept prisoner. Swarming through waves of androids, he made it to her holding cell only to find out it was none other than Arch who kidnapped Claire. Grave confronted Arch only to be brought near death, baffled by his newly mastered ability to create illusions where pain was real. Angered by his uselessness, Grave morphed into his dark overload form, which even uncontrollable by Grave, turned the tables enough to bring the battle to a draw. Exhausted from his endless fighting, Grave launched one final strike which scarred Arch over an eye. Not even flinching from the blow, Arch simply asked Grave that by accepting to live and trying to survive just proved even more that he was but a demon. Grave then uttered that he wasn’t fighting for himself only fighting so that no one would have to go through senseless pain.

Arch tried to anger Grave to release his dark overload form, and was successful, leading to further rampage on Grave’s part. Arch then left leaving Grave to demolish the castle until he fainted. Claire was able to soothe his anger however, resulting in no one getting serious wounds, and the building did not collapse. Claire was forced to carry Grave all the way out due to his exhaustion. They had a long conversation on the way out, leading to each other getting to know each other much better. When Claire asked why he came alone, Grave said honestly, even though he was embarrassed by it, that he was worried that they’d torture her or worse. This led Claire to understand that maybe Grave wasn’t a bad person just because he had a demon sealed inside him.

After discovering what Grave had done, there was controversy about him disobeying orders, but it was also discovered that Arch was the one who began this entire war, meaning that he was perhaps the young man who single-handedly ended it. After two days of hospitalization, Grave left for the ship to bring him back to Blue ridge only to be stopped by a high priest. The man was Grant Matriach and wanted to thank Grave for saving her and offering to marry her in a few years. Baffled, Grave went to meet Claire only to be told by her she had fallen in love with him. Amazed by this, especially after what Arch and Claire told him earlier, Grave felt truly as if he wasn’t the least bit demonic. He also thought that perhaps that was perhaps even the reason that he went to save her, that he had feelings for her. Leaving the eastern continent only after marital issues were discussed, and returned home. From their on, Grave’s true destiny was just beginning…

Grave also participated in the fight against Ehklyps, a hedgehog bent on destroying the universe, a search for gems called the lunar emeralds and in the battle against Nazo a thousand years in the future. He is currently alongside his friends fighting against the Qhaos organization.


Weapon(s): Grave carries a double-edged longsword made of a dark purple crystal. He keeps it in a thin leather sheath tied to the back of his belt. The blade is about the length of his leg and can be used with one or two hands. The sword has no guard and becomes round as it approaches the handle. Mysterious runes are written on the blade meaning “the brightest abyss.” The sword is called “Demon fang”, and even if Grave is extremely good at handling the weapon, he doesn’t always use it.

Goals: Exorcise Ravenus from his body, set things straight with his brother Arch, avenge his friends death’s, and make enough money to open a restaurant, help his friends in any way possible and have a happy life with Claire. Y’know, live an ordinary life instead of his rough and tumble one.

Likes: Cooking, fighting, listening to heavy metal, playing sports (particularly football), seeing friends and Claire, and a lot of other stuff I won’t bother to add.

Dislikes: Senseless violence, depressive people, staying a long time without seeing friends, boring jobs, and a lot of other stuff I won’t bother to add.

Fears: Friends dying, Claire being hurt, being possessed, Cain, his older brother, Ravenus.

Attitude towards life and death:
-Self: Grave has mixed feelings about this, for part of him wants to live a happy life and the other part wants to die so that Ravenus dies with him. Seems to be headed mostly towards the idea of a long and happy life with Claire.
-Others: Would risk life and limb to protect his friends. His enemies might not be so lucky, but it varies.

Attitude towards people:
-Family: Since Grave is orphaned, he feels loss towards his mother and father. Since his brother made him kill his parents, caused a chaotic situation during the white war and is attempting to murder him for unclear reasons, he experiences both hate and some sadness towards him.
-Friends: The most treasured people in Grave’s life are his friends. He seems like he doesn’t really care sometimes, but he protects and cares for them more than anything else in the world.
-Rivals: Always gets very competitive with rivals, but rivals will never last too long. Grave usually befriends his rivals or he becomes even more competitive.
-Enemies: Grave tries to stop his enemies any way he can, but he does allow them a second chance to change their ways, even if he knows it’s probably not going to happen.
-Strangers: He doesn’t exactly know how he feels about them, but will usually try to protect them from danger…if they don’t insult him.

Attitude towards money and power: Grave’s job is sometimes worthless and even a waste of time, but he wants to save enough money to live comfortably with Claire and to open his restaurant. Power-wise, since he usually ends up fighting quite a bit, Grave likes to stay in shape and strong. Grave always likes improving himself and further understanding the powers he inherited from Ravenus. So both money and power are quite important to Grave.

Attitude towards work: Varies depending on his job at hand, but is usually disagreeable for him. He knows he needs the money though, so he works hard even if it’s really boring or seems like a waste of time.

Attitude towards danger: Grave will either stay away from it or try to stop it even if it’s risky. But most of the time, he does the daredevil act and dives headfirst into trouble.

Attitude towards fighting: Grave likes sparring and friendly battles, but hates senseless violence. Doesn’t like to kill people, but he understands that other people don’t have that mentality.

Attitude towards anger/forgiveness: Grave tries to stay calm when people are angry or try to help out, since his own is uncontrollable and thinks people that can control theirs is a gift. Grave always tries to forgive people of anything, but won’t persist if he sees that they won’t try to change.

Mental conditions: None…though a lot of people get the impression that he’s retarded now and then.

Quotes: None, but seems to say “For the love of a retarded baby” from time to time. I wouldn’t call it a quote though.

Theme song: -“Animal I’ve become” by Three days grace
(Theme of Grave’s dark overload form) – “Let the bodies hit the floor!” by Drowning pool
(Against Arch) -“War” by Sick puppies
(Theme of Grave’s demon form)-“Waking the demon” by Bullet for my Valentine

Current residence: A huge tree house in the north of Blue Ridge zone.

Occupation: Either doing his job, spending time with friends (even if it usually involves a battle some way or another), sparring and relaxing.

Social class: Isn’t that renowned, but his job as a mercenary and his participation in the White war earn him a little fame. Aside from that, people that don’t know him very well usually have trouble trusting him.

Economic class: Grave seems to be poor at first look, but he actually has a lot of money saved up for when he gets married. He usually tries to spend as little as possible, even though he has tripped-out radio worth approximately 286$.

Alignment: Good, though he seems not to care about some things.

Reputation: Varies from person to person. People usually refer to him as an idiot, but friends consider him to be a person they can always count on. His enemies consider him to be a serious threat, and like Arch, others view him as an abomination against nature.

Powers:
-Dark energy: Grave can create, manipulate, absorb and transform dark energy. This ability is his main skill, and he tends to rely on it a lot for combat. This skill can pack devastating power, but has downfalls. This power is inherited from Ravenus.
-Teleportation: Grave can easily teleport short distances and tends to abuse of it, to the massive annoyance of his opponents. Teleports in rapid succession or long range teleports however, take a serious toll on his stamina. This power is also inherited from Ravenus.
-Arfang eyes: Grave has a family inherited ability dubbed Arfang eyes. This allows him to see at a 360° angle around himself, which is handy with attackers that strike at multiple angles. In addition, his eyesight is more powerful than most normal characters, which allows him to see more clearly through smoke or water. It nicely compliments Grave’s agility and evasiveness, rendering him a tricky target for precision fighters.

Combat abilities:

-Devil’s grasp: Grave concentrates dark energy into the form of electricity and energy into his hand, then rushes his opponent to strike at the face or stomach, usually stunning them. Since he sometimes adds a teleport to keep the opponent guessing, it’s a pretty effective attack even if it’s simple.

-Dark grenade: Grave gathers dark energy into an explosive sphere and launches it. The blast’s power and radius usually depends on his stamina and charge time. The blast can sometimes be used as a smoke screen to blind opponents.

-Demon’s beam: Releases dark energy in the shape of a ray of dark purple light. The beam can be fired by a single finger, a hand or even both. The smaller beams have piercing properties, but much less power, and vice-versa for the larger ones.

-Darkness bombardment: Fires multiple dark energy balls at a quick succession. The orbs of dark energy have homing properties, but lack power compared to most other dark energy attacks. Some can be made into explosive projectiles, or that divide as they are fired, but he rarely does this due to the high price of the technique.

-Black Barrier: Grave gathers dark energy around himself and transforms it into a semi transparent solid form. The shield can protect only himself, and doesn’t resist continuous attacks, but it’s useful nonetheless. Smaller projectile attacks can be reflected. Grave can also transform it into a damaging barrier by igniting it in black flames or black lightning.

-Shadow veins: Grave creates a tendril that is similar to a whip from dark energy. The tendril is usually very simple and lifelike. He is unable to create anything advanced and these created tendrils only last a short period of time before vanishing. Usually, they can have abnormal traits like spines, but they are usually prehensile and can latch onto anything easily.

-Obscure blast: Grave launches a comet-like blast at an enemy. The blast moves extremely quickly and follows the targets movements, making it an extremely difficult to dodge attack that packs a big punch. Grave is vulnerable before, after and during this technique, giving it a big downfall. When transformed, the attack is similar to reptile-like demon instead of a comet.

-Night burst: Releases a blast of dark energy from Grave’s entire body, creating a sort of explosion emanating around him. The blast is quite powerful, but a large burst takes time to charge. The maximum blast radius is about five meters in diameter. This ability is greatly powered up when he is possessed by Ravenus, allowing Grave to create bursts of astounding size.

-Energy transfer: This ability allows Grave to use the energy from an attack he used, and then turn it into a different dark energy-based technique. It is a very handy skill, but it tends to backfire when attempting to absorb the energy of a faraway dark energy blast.

Advanced attacks:

-Final apocalypse: Grave’s most powerful technique. Charges humongous quantities of dark energy into his hands, then fires a massive beam containing monstrous destructive power. Blocking this move is nearly impossible due to the amazing power within it, but since it takes many minutes to charge up and takes a lot of stamina from Grave (and will sometimes even knock him unconscious), it is only used as a last resort. The charging process can be sped up if someone gives some form of energy or if a suitable power source is present.

-Ravenus’s ravage: This technique can only be performed when Grave is in his Demon form. Grave causes geysers of dark flames and dark energy to erupt from the ground by a simple wave of his hands. He can create a larger geyser around his body, but it will only erupt around him. The technique can be used in rapid succession, but needs some recovery time every few uses. Since it has massive vertical range and can erupt from any surface, dodging it is very difficult.

-Shadowflame flamberge: A difficultly performed technique, the Shadowflame flamberge is powerful but unstable. Grave forms dark fire into the shape of a massive blade and swings it. It is quite a bit faster than one would expect and scores many hits in one swing. The “blade” is very difficult to hold though, and sometimes results with Grave missing the attack by a long shot or even him taking damage.

Transformations:

-Dark Overload: Grave can use this transformation any time, but it usually activates when he’s angered. The only physical difference is that his fur changes from silver-grey to pitch black. Dark lightning also continuously sparks around him. This form boosts Grave’s dark energy manipulation skills to much higher levels than normally. Grave does not flinch but will take damage while in this form. Grave is conscious, but will attack senselessly and even attack his friends, making it dangerous to use this. The big downfall is that when Grave reverts to normal, he is affected by the damage he took while transformed very intensely.

-Super form: Grave enters his super form when there is a very powerful energy source nearby - like the seven chaos emeralds for example – and remains in it for a fairly long time. Grave’s strength, speed and dark energy manipulation skills are increased by large amounts and is able to fly without the use of his air shoes. Grave’s hair lengthens till it reaches his ankles. A dark purple aura equally envelops him.

-Demon form: Grave’s most powerful and perhaps most surprising transformation. When Grave feels a massive fluctuation of negative emotions such as anger or sorrow, Ravenus awakens and takes control of his body. Grave grows two pairs of large bat wings, a long whip-like spiked tail, huge claws similar to sabers, and his hair stands up on ends and seems to wave like fire by Grave’s sole strength. His fur turns pitch black, and equally his eyes, leaving glowing crimson pupils. In this state, Grave has an insane gain in speed, defense and dark energy manipulation. Grave is virtually unstoppable, but the transformation wears off after only a few minutes and leaves Grave unconscious. This transformation can only be used a total of thirteen times in his life. Due to the backfire of this transformation, it is better left unused.

Basic fighting style: A pretty good close-range fighter that will use all sorts of acrobatic kicks, flips, somersaults and swordfighting techniques. It will vary a bit depending on the battle, but always acrobatic. Tends to rely much more on dark energy though, which makes him much better suited for combat at a long range. He usually acts goofy or uses stupid insults to put his opponent off guard or at least try to bother him. Grave is also a pretty good tactical fighter, though perhaps not as good as some other characters. He also is extremely evasive, exploiting any openings left by a foe’s missed attacks.

Talents: Awesome cook, especially with pasta. Good at sports, football in particular. Also very acrobatic and has quick reflexes, which is handy for fighting or just showing off. It also comes in handy when he’s just skating around in his air shoes.

Strengths:
-Mental: Smart when it comes to reacting to an attack made to confuse the opponent. Always makes jokes and acts cocky, which usually leads to people underestimating him or having trouble focusing.
-Physical: Is extremely advantaged against slower enemies due to his speed and acrobatic evasiveness.
-Supernatural: Due to his dark energy skills, other attacks with similar qualities hardly affect him.

Weaknesses:
-Mental: Tends to lose his concentration when someone insults someone he cares about. Intense or very cruel insults - about Claire in particular – sometimes lead to him entering his Dark Overload form or even his Demon form.
-Physical: Has a lot of difficulty against foes with a good mix of defense and speed.
-Supernatural: Is weak against electrical attacks for some reasons, so fighting an electricity user usually means he’ll lose.

Relationships:

-Spouses/Divorcees/ Girlfriends: Grave is fiancéed to Claire Matriach, a young cat anthromorphic. When they first met, Claire despised Grave simply because he was said to be possessed by a demon. When he saved her life even after she was treating him with very little respect, she began to respect him, and with time, love him. Grave is to marry Claire in three years when he’s nineteen. Since Grave is very busy with work and she is a priestess who lives on another continent, they see each other very rarely.

-Friends: Claire Matriach, Blackthorn the wolf, Uriel “Assasin” Beaupre, Styiel Mirans, Xack, Taylor Hiss.
-Rivals: None for the moment. His rivalries are often intense, but don’t last all that long most of the time.
-Enemies: Arch, Cain and currently the Qhaos organization, particularly Chrono and Dyyox, a person he used to consider a friend.


(PLEASE, leave me as many comments as possible, I wanna make this thing as perfect as I can. I'll make the one for another character real soon too.)

Something I noticed off the bat...

Spellcheck it and I'll read it, I'm quite sure there's other mistakes in grammar.

EDIT: Disregard that, I suck cocks.

This post has been edited by Kish on Oct 7 2009, 01:41 AM

I liked it.

*Edit*

Okay I read it again...this time all of it and I'm not impressed...but most of it doesn't make any sense at all but I've seen far worse

This post has been edited by Kaitos on Oct 16 2009, 05:18 PM

We know what a Anthro is, we assumed he was an anthro, all you had to define was whether he was Sonic based or not. Admittedly, we’d assume Sonic Based anyways.

This always bugs me for the following reason.

I have to say, this seems a little odd, engaged (Yes, engaged, not Fiancéed >>) to a gal and he’s only 16, seems a little young if you ask me.

Actually for a Sonic Style hedgehog he’s tall, Sonic is only 3’3”. If you mean a REAL anthro hedgie, yes, he’s short. Also Athletically built but scrawny? This seems a little oxymoronic.

Straight up, as in, 180 to the directon of gravity? That’s some impressive hair-gel.

Gee, I wonder what his power is.

Dark and edgy! You’re not helping my opinion of your character, but I’ll progress through first, I could let it slide if it’s not too bad…

I like this, nice touch!

OH BOY! TOTALLY DIDN’T SEE THIS COMING!

The “My parents are dead and my sibling is tring to kill me” is a little overdone I must say.

…..what.

……….what

…….WHAT!?

Lovely, I knew hat this would be the case with his mere character description further up. I knew there’d be dark powers. Admittedly, suicide at a few months old amazed me! (Wtf!? Seriously!? How would a child comprehend that!?)

HE’S A FEW MONTHS OLD AND HE HAS RATIONAL THOUGHT LIKE THIS!? And excellent speech from a 3 year old.

…How the hell do other kids know him as a demon kid or a monster? He seems pretty normal as far as hedgehogs go. Do these children have the ability to see the past and how he was born?

See this is when he’d be called Demon kid or monster!

Admittedly, this makes sense, though locking himself in a room is a little odd, aren’t his parents alive? I have no idea! When did they die, are the dead at all!? Who knows!

Oh there they ar-Wait what!?. I mean, what!? I’m at a loss for words.

……Okay, kid just triedto save your life from GUY WIELDING KNIFE and you go “Lol I hate you son”. Smooth mother.

…I’m still at a loss as to why the hell his parents were acting like that anyway but hey! Yay killing everything because he’s containing the often seen demon! But wait! Maybe I’ll be surprised like last time where I asked about his parents AND THERE THEY ARE! Kiling each other no less.

Because this is normal when you’ve just killed everything in the local area.

….He’s what? Eight? Seven? And he’s doing this? I’m uh, a little baffled as to why a child, infected or not would be so, dark. I’d understand if it was chld abuse or some crap, but his parents seemed like they’d be normal till his father went at his mother with a knife, but who am I to say.

Okay big words by a 7/8 year old. Though this is a universe where a two tailed fox can be smarter than 90% of the world at 8 so hey…still. The darkness of this archie and his sudden change in heart makes no sense! At all =D

…Okay. The FOUR/FIVE year old can cook and possibly save these guys. Okay, because that makes PERFECT sense mate. I’d like to know as to why he’s four and a very good cook, please do tell.

Okay, this is a odd group of bandits I must say, are they really bandits, why are they just randomly nearby that he can run into them, I’m rather confused I must say!

Oh gee, I wonder what happened then, I’m guessing, DEATH

He look it seemed like in the long run I’m right!

DEATH AND MON why is savel stll alive? I mean, last night he destroyed a entire area, this time he just SLIGHTLY hurts things and manages not to leave a scrath on a guy?

……=| Demon Fang?That’s a rather normal name for a sword, seems a lot of swords are called DEMON something now days.

It was all normal up till here (Admittedly I’m curious as to how he got the jobs between age 10 and 14 but hey. WHAT’S THE DRAMATIC PART HEEEEERE! Seriously, going, until he turned <age> is just a flag for “something which DO might have seen before in another prfile”

Thought so, if it isn’t death, monsters or demons, I can guarantee it’s a war

They sent a 14 year old with a demon and dark powers, to a war…

…what?

Ahhhh, the TRUE beginnings of a happy marriage, be a demon-spawn, go protect a church while pissing the residents off with your abominable sin upon god by existing.

Dedicated and disobedient to superiors! Yay! I must say he’s an active 14 year old hell-spawn

Androids?

Why the fuck does Arch have androids? And why was he botheredenough to piss off his brother again?

Awwwww. Lov- wait what was that I just saw.

Sudden change in heart “I HATE HELL SPAWN” to “OMG MUST CALM THIS DEMON DOWN ND DON’T LEG IT”. Seriously though, a little explanation on Arch, he told his brother to smeg off and then actively looks for him?

She’s a pretty strong priest huh?

But, he’s exhausted, wouldn’t he just be asleep or something? Anyhoos.

See, I understand her change of heart now, but, unless you know of a religious reason or some explanation, why didn’t she after stopping him just leg it?

Damn that 14 year old and his not military training!

……What?

What?

What!?

Who in the hell does a (17/18/19) year old start a entire war!? How? I don’t care if he has illusion powers. It just doesn’t make any sense, at all! You don’t just make a entire empire go to war with a few illusions!

Should be “From there on”. But WHAT!? this makes less sense than one guy starting a war! I buwh, wha!? How. But. WHAT!? WHAT!?

No seriously. What!? “THANK YOU FOR SAVING US! HERE MARRY OUR PRIEST!” “I’M IN LOVE WTH YOU!”

Maybe this Arch guy drove her insane…

A sword that big is NOT a one handed sword, I’m sorry, it just ISN’T.

Kind of ordinary goals I guess, bar his brother but hey

It was all pretty normal till this.

He’s gonna get married while living in a treehouse in a place full of snow…What?

What downfalls? I’d like to know them personally.

And a disadvantage to this? It seems a little overpowered to me as he adds a teleport =/

Yay generic beam attack. Least you’ve made some variations on it, nice touch

As it takes a long time, it seems stoppable, I’d suggest elaborating on this, could add a interesting twist to a otherwise annoying undodgble attack.

Overload or Overlord?

OH BOY! IT’S A SUPER FORM!

OH BOY! A DEMON FORM TOO! Least it makes more sense than a super form (Which seriously, everyone and their mary-sue aunt has one, and you already have quite a few forms, you don’t need a super one too

Even I can cook pasta. This isn’t a hard or noteworthy thing…

What about fighting strong, defensive, full of stamina, but slow opponents? Hmm? And what of his stamina, you don’t mention this at all.


I have to say, there’s been much worse before me, but, this reall does have it’s WTF moments, let alone the fact you seem to think that age isn’t too important (I.e. Killing yourself at a few months old, what the hell?). Think over things a lot more, improve on areas, and I suggest upping his age if you want him engaged.


This post has been edited by DarkOverord on Oct 16 2009, 04:21 PM