Jokes

you asked for it Akva

Holy Water
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine." The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby." The little boy replied, "You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll pass a Harley Davidson.

ha ha ha

Best blonde joke ever! http://blog.mininova.org/articles/2006/02/04/blonde-joke

You douche! I saw that on LJ a while back, lmao. Goodboi hates that joke!

God was just about done creating humans, but he had two parts left over.

He couldn't decide how to split them between Adam and Eve so He thought He might just as well ask them.

He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up.

"It's a very handy thing," God told them," and i was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."

Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy.

Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, he could have it. So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.

Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.

God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."

"What's it called?" asked Eve.


















"Brains," said God