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 Iron Fist Chart
Muragin Jousen
Posted: Apr 6 2006, 10:30 PM


Unregistered









Name: Sakuretsu Faust ( Hidden Fist )
Type: Taijutsu
Rank: All
Special Items: Fist
Description: Created by Non-Ninja. Not useable by Ninja. This form uses the Iron Fist's energy to create solid forms of the iron fists will as a form to attack.

To learn from this chart your character must be derived from Iron Fist back ground. Thus, your bloodline must be Ryokousae



Phantom Breaker
Type: Taijutsu / Genjutsu
Chakra: N/A
Description: Training under the Phantom Breaker. Focuses the user on a technical variety of kicks and punches that may weaken, or hit crucial pressure points on the body. Which causes Seizures, paralysis, heart attacks, etc.

Kryuel Immortal
Type Taijutsu
Chakra: N/A
Description: Training under the Kryuel Immortal focuses the user on brute force and control more than Technique.

Phantom Breaker Lv 2
Type: Taijutsu / Genjutsu
Chakra: 10,000
Description: More advance training of the phantom breaker. This allows the user to bring in more advanced techniques to attack pressure points. Even causeing a hemmorage within their victims. These effects at Lv 2 last longer

Kryuel Immortal Lv 2
Type: Taijutsu
Chakra: 11,000
Description: Same as lv1 but increased speed to deliver the attacks quicker and more powerfully

Phantom Breaker Lv 3 ( Mastery )
Type: Taijutsu / Genjutsu
Chakra: 21,000
Description: Most advance form of Phantom breaker.

Kryuel Immortal Lv 3 ( Mastery )
Type: Taijutsu
Chakra: 25,000
Description: Mastery of this skill evens out speed between power to bring fast attacks with bone shattering punches and kicks.



Occult Impact
Type: Mix
Chakra: N/A
Description: Creating a giant burst of energy at the end of an open palm of the controler. Similar to that dudes Air vents in his hands, but all-natural. This is the first skill taught to most Iron fists

Rasend Faust ( Raging Fist )
Type: Mix
Chakra: 10,000
Description: Chakra is used to shape the will of the user into a users fists. creating a "solid" energy that attacks an enemy when the user does, Also increasing the Attack speed substancually

Dragons Way
Type: Mix
Chakra: 50,000
The stongest attack of the Iron Fists. The users energy is reconsiliated to extended from the base of the user. Ripping through the ground. Obliterating anything in its path. And much like the Inamagaraga This skill usually leaves the User drained unless trained to specifically use this skill.

This post has been edited by Muragin Jousen on Apr 8 2006, 01:19 AM
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Uchiha Satori
Posted: Apr 7 2006, 12:38 AM


ANBU
*

Group: Admin
Posts: 529
Member No.: 1
Joined: 9-June 05



Ok.. the two types of taijutsu on this chart conflict with one another. A style that uses brute force isn't going to be able to strike pressure points effectively. I mean.. there's a pressure point right at the top of your shoulder, a few inches from the neck. Hitting that with two fingers, or something else along those lines could cause numbness or paralysis.. but if I hit you in the same spot by swinging a bat over your shoulder, chances are it would just break your collar bone and/or dislocate your shoulder.

As far as the seperation of the chart.. If it's for taijutsu, then it should be just for taijutsu exclusively, or ninjutsu. I mean having a bit of a mix is alright, but the ninjutsu seems to be in a totally different realm. Of course it would make more sense it used with your bloodline.. but that should be added as custom jutsu for your specific character afterwards.

Maybe you should seperate the ninjutsu and taijutsu into seperate charts, and elaborate on either.. either way it's not really ready to go as is. Probably need to focus on one of the two taijutsu styles.
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Omega2042
Posted: Apr 12 2006, 12:41 AM


Unregistered









To start off, I have permission to go over charts.

With that out of the way, lets go over this one. What confuses me is how is this a bloodline? I mean it could be a clan, but not a bloodline. To have a bloodline there has to be some genetic trait. Since you didnt explain one here, it isnt a bloodline.

For the first part you have some of them as Taijutsu/Genjutsu. There isnt any Genjutsu involved at all. The attack isnt an illusion, so it would just be Taijutsu.

Now about the pressure points. You could only attack them with very precise attack that would apply pressure to an exact area. None of them are large enough to where a fist would work. You really have two choices here: 1) Use brute force which you can use to break bones and such, 2) Use pressure points that require exact strikes. You cant have both. The styles are the exact opposite of each other.

The way I see Taijutsu, is you just make a style. From there the user makes their own moves from it. As a suggestion, you should break the style up into more parts. Since going from N/A to 10,000 makes a large gap where the user learns nothing.

Now onto the second part:

QUOTE
Occult Impact
Type: Mix
Chakra: N/A
Description: Creating a giant burst of energy at the end of an open palm of the controler. Similar to that dudes Air vents in his hands, but all-natural. This is the first skill taught to most Iron fists


Now this is a problem. What you have is a genin with both enough chakra and control to fire a blast of pure chakra at someone. There is no way a genin would be able to do this, or a chuunin for that mater. This move either needs a large drop in power, or a large jump in how much chakra it takes. Also, the description needs a little work.

QUOTE
Rasend Faust ( Raging Fist )
Type: Mix
Chakra: 10,000
Description: Chakra is used to shape the will of the user into a users fists. creating a "solid" energy that attacks an enemy when the user does, Also increasing the Attack speed substancually


Now, what I get out of that is there are two chakra fists that float near the user and attack with the user. Again, this is too strong for its chakra level. I mean not only do you have to form the fist, you have to keep them out and control their movements. So weaken it, or make it cost more.

QUOTE
Dragons Way
Type: Mix
Chakra: 50,000
The stongest attack of the Iron Fists. The users energy is reconsiliated to extended from the base of the user. Ripping through the ground. Obliterating anything in its path. And much like the Inamagaraga This skill usually leaves the User drained unless trained to specifically use this skill


Well apart from being vauge on the range of the attack and saying you can train to not have this drain you, it looks fine for now.
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Muragin Jousen
Posted: Apr 17 2006, 06:03 AM


Unregistered









Firsts, i did say my character wasn't born into Ninja Arts. I made this character that he learned the Iron fists arts before the Ninja Arts. And i followed the rules that he came as an Ninja.


Finally, f.u.c.k. this site I'm gone

I'm surprised anyone wants to be on this site with all these damn rules to follow
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Omega2042
Posted: Apr 17 2006, 06:22 AM


Unregistered









Good leave, no one will miss you. I dont see why we would want someone around who cant follow simple rules or respect the staff. Its just too bad you wont be around so I can tell you off proper.
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