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|Naruto Jiyuu > Technique Chart/Bloodline Registration > Rai-ude|
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko May 30 2007, 10:44 PM|
| Clan Name: Ryoko
Name of Bloodline Technique: Raikou-ude (Lightning Arm)
Description: Basically, it is a special Kekkei Genkai that allows me to control various aspects of lightning. There are six levels to the Kekkei Genkai, and each level gains more power, and, more importantly, more variety. The physical characteristic of this Kekkei Genkai (an example of a physical characteristic would be, say, the red eye of the Sharingan) is lightning bolts running down my arm, much like a tattoo. There is one lightning bolt for each level, with three per arm. I'm not really sure what else to put here, except that if you use this Kekkei Genkai without my permission, I will attack and kill you. I'm serious.
Village: (formerly) Village Hidden in the Clouds. (currently) Village Hidden in the Mist.
Clan History: A longtime clan of the Village Hidden in the Clouds, the Ryoko clan was pushed away from them. Fortunately, the Hidden Mist Village welcomed them in, and the Ryoko clan are now firm fighters for the Mist Village. An odd thing about the Ryoko clan is that a member of the clan can only ever have one child, but this child will always inherit the bloodline in full. This has kept the clan rather small, usually having only a Grandmother and Grandfather, Mother and Father, and Child. They are also manufacturers of thin copper wire, which they use in one of their jutsus. Every member of the Ryoko clan for the past 5 generations always carried a roll of copper wire in their pocket.
This really does use a lot of Taijutsu stuff, now that I think about it. Oh, well, I always liked hitting the crap out of people anyways.
|Posted by: Omega2042 May 30 2007, 10:49 PM|
|I would suggest going over the rules and a few accepted charts to get a better idea of what to do to make a chart. Also make sure to include what village it is for as well as a history of the clan.|
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko May 30 2007, 10:57 PM|
| I'm getting there, I'm not even close to done with even the Jutsu's yet.
FYI, I can reach the third level of Rai-ude. I am trying to target fourth level for Chunin, fifth level for Jounin, and sixth level not at all (overpowered).
Umm... would it be OK if I locked this Kekkei Genkai from other people unless they have my permission?
|Posted by: Omega2042 May 30 2007, 11:05 PM|
| First of all, the chakra amounts are how much chakra the character has to have before they can learn it. A genin starts with 500 chakra, chuunin with 10,000 and jounin with 25,000. So when picking the chakra amounts for a jutsu, keep those in mind. Also things dont take chakra to use. You just have to RP realistically when you do end up fighting.
Also you can block people from using it if you want.
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko May 30 2007, 11:18 PM|
| All right then, Raikou-ude is now blocked, and I've modified the chakra to reasonable amounts.
Yes, I know that everything below Level 3 costs below 500. I did that on purpose, because the basic levels can be used at Academy Student-level Chakra.
|Posted by: Omega2042 May 30 2007, 11:26 PM|
| No, no they cant. Academy students really dont know anything. Besides, the lowest chakra you can have is 500, that being a starting genin. Most of these jutsu are beyond the scope of what you have down. A genin just wouldnt have the chakra pool or the control to use most of these. You need 2,500 chakra to be able to learn walking up a wall which is the basic form of chakra control.
Also you will want to out down all the jutsu you want onto the chart. This should show all the jutsu you can learn.
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko May 30 2007, 11:44 PM|
Modified so that even I, the creator, can't do a thing.
|Posted by: Omega2042 May 31 2007, 12:12 AM|
| Getting better, but still needs work. The chakra rating are still off and the jutsu needs to be reordered. Now for a detailed breakdown of each jutsu.
Raikou-ude level 1:
I am still a bit confused as to how this is a bloodline exactly. The use of lightning jutsu alone is something really anyone could do. Not saying you cant have this, but it feels a bit lacking for it to be a bloodline. Also for this is there an outward change when tis activated?
Bakuretsu Raikou Bunshin no Jutsu:
An exploding clone is a bit advanced for 600 chakra. Depending on the strength of the explosion you would be looking at 7,500-15,000 chakra for it.
Cheen no Raikou:
Honestly, this seems a bit out of place. Nothing wrong with it though, other than needed a higher chakra cost. I would say for this about 5,000 would be enough. Doesnt seem to be an overly powerful genjutsu.
Pasu no Saishou Kousou:
Include that clan members have this wire as a special item. This can be an easly technique on the list, but the chakra amount should be about 2,500 or so. Also you might want to consider changing it from a volt amount to what sort of damage you had in mind for this to do. It makes it easier for the other people to write out how the attacked effected them.
Raikou-ude Level 2:
I would say put this at the standard level 2 jutsu spot near 5K. By then a genin has a strong hold of the basics and is ready for something more advanced.
Denkou Doragon Hitobashira:
This is a rather strong for the level its at. For a jutsu that would seemingly kill someone, it really needs a higher amount. If you want to keep the ripping someone to shreds part in, you would need to raise this attack to a much higher level, or you could change it to something else, in either case it needs a higher cost.
Standard issue. Needs a higher cost, as well as a bit more information as to if there are only special effects of this weapon.
Sentou no Ikazuchi:
Really, this should be your starting jutsu. A punch with an added effect from your abilities.
Raikou-ude Level 3:
Higher cost and all that.
OK, to save myself some time, everything is assumed to need a higher costs if not mentioned.
You would need to make a seperate summon for this clan. Then buy a summon contract before you could use a summon, so just remove this from the chart.
Also as I read this a thought entered my head. While nothing you would have to do, you could change this chart from just various lightning jutsu to a taijutsu style that uses lightning as a way to strengthen the user. Then in combination with the wire you could use long range attacks in a way. Again nothing you have to do and you are free to completely ignore this, but it seemed like those were the two most stable jutsu on this chart.
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko May 31 2007, 12:33 AM|
Umm... I've put my input on each jutsu. See inside the quoted area.
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 3 2007, 10:41 PM|
|bump, since I've drastically changed the costs, but no one seems to care.|
|Posted by: Omega2042 Jun 3 2007, 11:08 PM|
| You said you had a lot of work to do. When someone says that I wait until they post and say they want me to go over the chart again. So it wasnt that no one cared, it was a simple misunderstanding.
I will go over it now, I just wanted to post this so you didnt feel ignored.
|Posted by: Omega2042 Jun 4 2007, 01:43 AM|
| First of all, we have the history. Now, if a village wanted to get rid of a bloodline, they would just kill off the clan so another village couldnt use it.
Now back into the jutsu themselves. Lets start with the dragin genjutsu. Genjutsu changes a person's senses into believing whatever the illusion is, is real. So if they had an arm ripped off in the illusion they would feel that and would be unable to use that arm. So if they thought their whole body was now in little tiny pieces, they would stop breathing and really just die.
With regards to the lightning punch, you need to explain what the added effects of it are.
Just in general most of these need more information as to what they do. It is hard to say if 7,500 is the right cost for an exploding clone if the size and damage caused by the explosion are unknown.
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 4 2007, 10:34 PM|
| All right, changed Denkou Doragon Hitobashira to Denkou Doragon Mugenosore, AKA Lightning Dragon Infinite Fear.
I'm going to explain the FEAR effect right after I finish this post, because I just remembered that I forgot to do that.
Also added effects (or lack of effects) to Exploding Lightning Clone, Shocking Lightning Clone, Punch of Thunder, Lightning Dome Shield, Fluttering Heart, and Destruction of Heart. The other techniques I thought looked fine.
Also, I think someone else changed my history, but I'm OK with it, because while it is vague now, I can fill it in as a story thing later.
|Posted by: Omega2042 Jun 6 2007, 02:34 AM|
|Some of these are still vauge as to how you do them. The ones that come to mind first are the ones attack the target's heart. Do you have to touch your target? Also the shocking clone should be at about 3,000 chakra or so.|
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 6 2007, 02:35 AM|
| Yay for the FEAR effect. Seriously, what would you do if the fear of God (or should I say, of me) was jammed into you by a genjutsu?
Also, I believe that the chart is ready for further review.
|Posted by: Omega2042 Jun 6 2007, 02:56 AM|
| That of course is assuming the target would be sacred of a dragon. If they arent then it really wouldnt do anything except have them fight with a fake dragon.
A general problem with this chart is how it covers basically everything. Offensive moves, defensive moves, disables, taijustu, ninjutsu, genjutsu. There isnt a gap anywhere on this chart really. While it is a bloodline and you gain more room to work with in this regard, its still just too much.
Also if a jutsu has no effect, then why use it in the first place?
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 6 2007, 03:11 AM|
| Umm... it doesn't matter if they are scared of a dragon. The FEAR effect is the effect of a genjutsu, and it doesn't matter if the animal is a dragon or a bunny rabbit or a bee (which would work infinitely well against me even without a genjutsu).
Umm... I wanted it to be that way. However, if you disapprove, then I can take away the Genjutsu an Taijutsu (I'm more of a Ninjutsu guy anyway).
Umm... I made a mistake. I said "no effect", but I meant "no ADDED effect".
|Posted by: Omega2042 Jun 6 2007, 03:24 AM|
| As far as I know, genjutsu is unable to change emotions. In order for it to do so it has to show something that the person would be afraid of.
What would help look over the chart would be if you could organize it from lowest to highest in terms of chakra cost. It makes it much easier to see what you would know at what level.
You do gain another chart later on, so if you wish to close any gaps you might have that is when you would be able to do it. A single chart really cant cover every single possible aspect.
Finally, in case you didnt see it, I wrote a post at the end of the first page with some more stuff on it.
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 6 2007, 03:48 AM|
| Reordered the jutsus.
I completely eliminated all genjutsu and all jutsu that have to do with the heart or the limb.
|Posted by: Omega2042 Jun 6 2007, 04:06 AM|
|The sword should be at 10K to act as a bridge at that level. Of course now you have levels for your bloodline with no jutsu connected to them. Also, why does this bloodline have levels? Unless you gain something by having it gain a higher level, then you dont need them.|
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 6 2007, 10:02 PM|
|I changed the sword thing, and added a few jutsus (three of them). I also made it so that all jutsus required a certain level of bloodline or above.|
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 11 2007, 02:30 AM|
|Added two magnetic field jutsu, changed Punch of Thunder slightly, and completely changed the Comments section (the bottom of the first post, if you didn't know, which you probably did).|
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 16 2007, 02:41 AM|
|Posted by: Zenkai Ryoko Jun 28 2007, 09:23 PM|
|bump again, seriously, why won't anyone even look?|