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|Naruto Jiyuu > Technique Chart/Bloodline Registration > The Hokori Bloodline|
|Posted by: Hokori Mar 3 2007, 02:53 AM|
| Clan Name: Hokori
Name of Bloodline Technique: Hokori Bushido (meaning The Way of the Hokori Warrior.)
Description: (This bloodline is based off of the Saiyan race of good ol Dragon Ball Z)
The Hokori clan is a clan of intense warriors who focus on taijutsu and focus on supreme control of their body. To achieve full control the Hokori warriors train in controlling their chakra to further enhance their bodies. They manipulate their energy within themselves to make their attacks stronger and quicker. Higher levels of training will allow a massive burst of this energy to leave the body in the form of a blast. However, this leaves the warrior heavily fatigued. Also, there is a rare ability few have managed to achieve within the clan before they reach the master status. This ability allows them to “turn on” their chakras to allow full potential of their bodies to be released. This will increase everything of the warrior; he will be faster, stronger, have greater endurance, and greater chakra. Their bodies will be fully charged with energy which will energize the cells of the hair changing it to a golden color. The eyes will also undergo a change but the way it changes depends on the person.
Every member of the clan has black hair and eye color with usually no other hair on their bodies. Some however have the ability to grow facial hair. The bodies of the people within the clan are able to adapt quicker allowing for their muscles to become stronger with the more training received. Their cells within their bodies are able to retain and manipulate chakra allowing for such things as well as when someone recovers from immense damage or exhaustion they become even stronger.
The Hokori Clan take pride in themselves and their clan. They welcome fellow clansmen with open arms and have tough friendly rivalries. Outsiders would see the clan as a violent group of people always fighting and killing each other over the sake of fighting for fun. No one is usually killed from such fighting however. The desire for physical activity is great for a Hokori and the need to prove themselves in battle against a stronger opponent is something often sought after. They would rather fight a stronger opponent over a weak one.
|Posted by: Omega2042 Mar 3 2007, 03:54 AM|
| My first reaction to this chart was its length. While there is no set length a chart has to be, this just has too much stuff in it. You cover every aspect of taijutsu which is just too much for a single chart.
Next is just the strength of it. Its way too overpowered. By the time you would become a jounin, judged to be at 25K chakra, you fight on a level of a kage it seems. I am sure you can see why this is a problem.
Finally we come to all those chakra blasts. While this is technically possible, it wouldnt be for the level you have it down for. The basic idea behind doing this would be similar to a Rasengan, only just a blob of chakra. Also having to create the force behind it to fire it and have it deal damage to someone would take an unimaginable amount of chakra.
Next we move onto the SSj part of it. From everything we have seen in Naruto so far, forcfully increasing ones chakra causes an unimaginable strain on the body. Also once someone gets to the level where they arent berserk anyone, you can basically enter into gated status whenever you wish with no penelty.
Overall this chart is just way too overpowered to be used. You would have to edit it and make it weaker if you wish to have it accepted.
|Posted by: Hokori Mar 3 2007, 05:15 PM|
| alright, i figured it might have been too strong. But i figured id put all my ideas down first then take it down from there. i took out the blasts and the ascended transformation thing. i also added a certain level of consequence for using the choujin henshin and increased the chakra level from 5k to 10k.
do i need to weaken it more or is this good enough?
|Posted by: Ds14 Mar 3 2007, 06:25 PM|
I know I'm not supposed to post here but that is kinda not true. A lot of the Rasengan's power seems to come from the spinning motion. Since this is imaginary, he could say the chakra had explosive force or something and then make damage proportional to the amount of strength/chakra/whatever.
I won't post again, but I will reply to that, Omega. I saw someone in an administrative position make an error based on incorrect facts and I corrected it. I don't know how else I could have done it. A PM wouldn't make much sense in this situation. A comment can be easily read and then deleted.
|Posted by: Omega2042 Mar 4 2007, 04:09 AM|
| This might sound harsh, but when someone goes to make a bloodline the standards become higher. I read through this and I dont see how this is really a bloodline. What is the exact trait this bloodline gives?
Next is the jutsu on the chart itself. Its just way too strong. You basically have a character as fast as Gai and as strong as Tsunade. Thats way over the top. Of course this does depend on what the trait for this clan is.
As for DS, if you know you shouldnt post here, then dont do it. Saying you know you shouldnt do it before you post does not make it alright. Dont do it again.
|Posted by: Hokori Mar 4 2007, 11:54 PM|
| i have decided to abandon this bloodline temporarily until i become more acquainted with the workings of this rpg.
in the meanwhile i think i will create a character with the Hyuuga bloodline.