Name: Valen Tyz
Age: Valen is 62, despite his rather youthful appearance. We'll explain that in a while.
Gender: Male, and most importantly,
Manly.
Race: Human (Daesertares)
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual.
Follower of: Whatever looks nice at the bar. *winks and knowing grins exchanged all round amirite*
Occupation: EARTH GOD.
Personality: (EDIT THIS ONE)After the death of Venea Zephyrius, his major object of unrequited lust for nearly ten years, Valen's formerly cheerful demeanor dried up into something more resembling an old farmer who'd just found a troll walking across his yard.
However, the people of Talafen, and to a lesser extent, the people of Reed,
Valen is an easily amused person; at the sight of anything novel, or semi-novel, or even not novel at all that he nonetheless finds absurd, he will chuckle, laugh, or even giggle, depending on which one will cause more confusion in those around him.
As such, you can pretty easily see that he also likes to confuse people, frequently spouting non sequiteurs in exactly the wrong context.
He likes telling tall tales; for example, he tells everyone at least once about how he once convinced a man that he was a figment of his own imagination, causing him to disappear in a puff of logic, which he describes as 'imagine someone putting their head up their own ass, then pushing themselves further up into it, until they were pushing their ass into their own ass. Fold reality, and then suddenly there's nothing there but logic'.
This leads to him being rarely believed (unless he has his Serious Face on), but he is nonetheless a hit at parties, particularly ones where everyone is stoned out of their minds, and the slightest bit of illogic can send them reeling with laughter as their brains stop working right for the time being.
Somehow, however, Valen actually has some sense of when to be serious, and so, when he intends to be serious, will put his Serious Face on, which largely consists of daubing his face with warpaint, in an attempt to further confuse people about his sanity.
His Chief Druid has been known to avoid him on days that the Ceremonial Warpaint is not on, if only to save himself the agony of dealing with someone as innately childish as Valen.
He does have his truly dark moments; now that the imminent danger of the Big Deadline has passed, and Caius' Rebellion has begun, he's begun to brood about that, taking to Northport vodka, Salusan whiskey, and lots of orange juice. He enjoys bitching at anyone who will listen, but usually won't pester anyone he doesn't deeply know, ruling out all but the new 'Sir Blake', the recently returned Vhailor Koros, who he knew as a child, his best friend and 'sidekick', Adolphus Kroeger, and her Royal Highness, the Princess Charlotte Reid.
These dark moments are occasionally triggered when he wants to go out of the city, but cannot, due to his need to keep the Dark Matter in the center of Talafen's crater from affecting the land.
Valen is still on good terms with his family, despite having left his tribe behind a very long time ago; he attributes this to the amazing usefulness of having a son who can semi-miraculously enrich the soil where Clan crops are being grown, beside the fact that his parents are rather cosmopolitan by Daesertares standards.
He finds it easiest to connect to wandering spirits; seeing as how they are intrinsically like him (being a man who chose to leave his clan). This is somewhat offset by the high incidence of death among wanderers due to unforseen circumstances (such as bears), but he nonetheless likes that sort of person, and continues making friends with them, though he now warns them away from the bears.
He views most of the gods (and most of the royal family by connection, as the secular gods of Meliora) as very close friends, despite the fact that some have a vague sort of enmity with him, if only for his sheer level of unpredictability, when the Earth has typically been seen as a stolid, steady sort of thing.
Despite this, he still likes everyone in the group, being a loyal sort (and thus steady in his relationships, which is the only real thing his priesthood likes about him) and was rather annoyed when he discovered the long-past decision to strip Calixto of his powers.
Valen enjoys keeping tabs on numerous public personages, as well as anyone who comes to his attention, with his enormous spy network, comprised of various unlikely people, hundreds of 'baby golems', and his annoying tendency to teleport from place to place.
Appearance: 
After years on the front lines, even if they were generally spent in the Generals' tent and only rarely genuinely fighting, Valen has become even more weatherbeaten than he was previously, with scars and heavy lines crossing much of his body. He is now a colour artists would describe as 'burnt ochre', though he simply says 'tanned', as he's not a twat, and where previously he was only of an average physique, he is now most people's image of a war god, having a now very well-muscled frame that inspired intense fear in the Felori when it appeared in the trenches, toting a giant hammer. This image is further helped by his rather extraordinary height, standing six and a half feet tall.
When one looks at his face, however, one sees an oddly natural nobility to it, calling back to his reasonably high birth in the Daesertares nobility. He has the cheekbones of the highest nobles, and his slate-gray eyes, the color that all the Daesertares have, pierce right through to one's soul. He wears his hair in the short traditional cut, though he has made concessions to current Melioran fashion by keeping a rather well-maintained goatee.
His choice of clothing is one influenced partly by his upbringing, preferring leather in most situations, but also by his experiences in the Invasion Wars, which dictate that his most common outfits are form-fitting to prevent catching on surfaces, rounded to deflect blows, and dark. Indeed, the only concession Valen has yet made to the metaphysical gods of fashion and good dressing is the addition of a black cloak to his everyday wear, largely for the purpose of appearing as regal as a God sometimes needs to.
He largely disdains jewellery, but wears the sign of the Veritoim as a clasp for his cloak, and of the Athanhaer as a belt buckle, symbols of his open support for these two still only somewhat-legal organisations. The only other piece of jewellery he wears is a brass ring in the shape of a spider that no one has ever seen him remove.
Weaponry: Valen favors large crushing weapons; several times during the war, he encased himself in rock and walked around battlefields like an immense golem, smashing hundreds of enemy troops into the ground.
That tactic very quickly changed when the Felori began using their siege guns on him, and so he has changed his preferred weapon to a two-handed warhammer he calls
The Tenderizer. Recently, he has also been carrying out his own experiments with gunpowder, and has taken to carrying an ornate three-barrelled wheellock musket, in addition to The Tenderizer.
He hasn't named the musket yet.
StrengthsWeaknessesHistory: (EDIT THIS ONE)Valen grew up the son of a young councilman of the Daesertares, and rather privileged, as this was a fairly large clan his father was head of. He was raised to be a gentleman farmer, and a very decent swordsman, and by and large led a very nice, happy life that had very few actual events, consequences, or much of anything at all, really.
Suddenly, disaster (for the world of Convention and Normality) struck.
With Anasutagai's loss of her powers, Earth was thrown into a mild state of semi-chaos, as the power of the land attempted to find someone new, and all the lands of Talafen beginning to decay thanks to the Dark Matter in the center of the crater. Luckily for Valen, it grabbed him (literally, according to him; a giant hand-shaped rock came out of nowhere when he was out in the woods one day, and knocked him out).
He messed with his kooky little newfound powers for a while (with the most notable event being accidentally dropping a cousin of his down a hole, which he surreptiously filled in after pulling said cousin out), before he was discovered by the Priests under the Old Order, who soon became Druids under the New Order.
For the past few years, Valen has been in a state of semi-protracted psychological warfare with his own priesthood, defying their wishes, destroying their relics, profaning their holy places with copious amounts of flung goat-shit, and interrupting their 'numerous ridiculous, autocratically shitty rituals'. Thanks to this, and Valen's open-door policy as far as his followers are concerned, the priesthood has gone under an intense state of decline, winding up with under fifty members, all within Talafen, from the thousands it had had before the loss of Anasutagai. The people are happy, as their tithes are cut, and so support their god to the fullest extent of their ability.
RP Post Sample: Not getting this.
Oh fine, go look in the archives.
Player Name: Doc. REMEMBER THIS.
Other Characters you Play: Adolphus Kroeger, Mandragore, and Heinrich van Hal. Maybe others by the time you read this. Who knows?
Contact Information: PM me. Or email me (PM is easier all round). Or MSN me.
Where did you hear us from: I AM AN ADMINS NOW DON'T ASK ME THIS QUESTION.
Valen Tyz, God of Earth
Valen seems to be a very unique (strange in a potentially excellent way) man with some good potential to entertain everyone. . . and it's good to get away from heavy angst once in a while. Luckily we have a couple of character's that aren't constantly serious or walking under a rain cloud. Hopefully Valen can find a friend in one of them. 
