Whistling In The Dark, **Alanna!**

[Charlotte DuPrie]

Charlotte walked down to the lake and looked at her reflection in the icy water. Her dark hair fell over her shoulder in soft curls as she sighed and turned away from the water. Rubbing the back of her neck, she sat on a rock that over looked the water. Her jeans were dark, so she wasn't worried about the rock being slightly damp, and her black blouse was hidden under her long white coat. She looked down at the letter she held losely in her hands. She didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or scream. Of course she'd been expecting it, but the news had still hit her like a knife to her heart. He was disappointed with her. She hadn't been really trying to befriend any of the slytherins he'd instructed her to. That was her nature though, that and she was in gryffindor. She'd broken a family tradition, but her mother had been gryffindor, so in her mind nothing had been broken. Laughign scornfully she crumbled the letter and let it turn into ash as she lit it on fire. "Yeah, but look at what she did. She ran. She left...she knew what he was like and she still left." she felt the tears burning behind her eyes and she had to bite her lip to keep them from coming.

"I'm not weak! I won't cry, not because of him anymore!" she yelled to everyone and no one. Soon though, she felt a warm, sticky liquid begining to run down onto her face. Reaching up, she realized she'd bitten her lip too hard and now it was bleeding. Sighing she heard footsteps in the fresh snow and turned. "Who's there?"

[Alana Starbeck]

Alana was tired. She had been down in the potions lab all day working on her extra project for her (hopefully, soon to be) apprenticeship. Her hair was oily from the fumes and strands had fallen out of her ponytail and into her eyes. She pushed them out of the way only to have them fall back into her line of vision again. She sighed. How she hated her hair sometimes. So much had been going on lately that she had been neglecting her work and now she was behind. How Matt would lecture her if he found out! Alana had been working non-stop all day and decided it was time for a break. Her mind was having a hard time focusing as it was anyway. She pulled on her cloak and slipped on her dragon hide boots then made her way outside. It had snowed the night before and Hogwarts looked beautiful with a fresh, white blanket of powder covering it. Alana gazed at the picture layed before her for a moment, then started towards the lake. She needed a long walk to help clear her mind. As she got closer, she spotted another person perched on a rock near the lake. It was Charlotte, one of the older Gryffindor girls. They had talked a few times before, had become friends actually. Charlotte looked upset, and seemed to be angrily talking to herself. Alana made her way over and was about to speak when Charlotte turned around. "Hi Charlotte. Sorry to interrupt. I saw you sitting there and wanted to say hello. See how you were and such."

[Charlotte DuPrie]

Charlotte turned and saw the older slytherin girl and let out a small, almost fragile, smile. Her own dragon hide boots turned and she all but threw herself into the older girl's arms. They'd become fast friends, they could really relate a lot of the time and it was a comfort. Her hands were like ice she knew and couldn't help but let out a small cry of frustration and anguish. "No, no it's okay. My father wrote to me again." she murmured trailing off. She walked to the edge of the rock and hugged her arms to herself. "I'm still such a disappointment and I'm making it hard on myself to find myself a suitable husband." she laughed, scorn laced in with it, making it sound like a forced laugh. Reaching up, she touched her still bleeding lip and sighed. Turning back around she faced her friend. Charlotte knew she must look quite pathetic. Her hair was lose, and not as neat as she would've liked, her lip was bleeding, and she looked worn out. She remembered Matt and how he had always told her to find him if she needed him, now she knew she'd probably be in trouble for not contacting him sooner, but that would be delt with later.

She smiled at her friend and let her arms lift and fall to her side. Shaking her head she motioned for the other girl to sit with her. "All in all though, I'm fine. How're you Alana, you look exhausted." she asked, trying in vain to get the blood to stop.

[Alana Starbeck]

Alana wasn't a physical person, but she was quickly becoming one. It seemed everytime they met, one or the other seemed to be lunging into the other's arms for a hug and some comforting. They really were more alike than different. Alana patted Charlotte's arm softly. Her comforting skills were getting better as well, she noted wryly, she didn't feel as awkward about it anymore. Alana clucked her tongue and shook her head, her face one of pure disgust. "You shouldn't let him bother you like that. He's a self-righteous, self-serving prat, Charlotte. No offense." she tried to keep the scorn from her voice, but was having a rather difficult time of it. She sighed. She knew why Charlotte was worried about trying to please her father, because after all her own father had done to her Alana still tried to please him as well. "I can understand why you're worried, but you shouldn't be. Honest." It sounded a lot simpler than it actually was. Alana took note of Charlotte's bleeding lip and quirked her eyebrow questioningly. She reached into her cloak pocket and dug out her handkerchief, handing it to the younger girl.

Alana sat beside Charlotte on the rock and gazed out over the lake. It's glassy surface was calm and unmoving with the exception of the sun casting glimmers of light to bounce off the crystalled top; it was beaufitully breathtaking to observe. She sighed deeply and chuckled at Charlotte's observation. "I am exhausted. Too mcuh going on lately." Alana felt like she hadn't slept well in ages. First, it had been the re-surfacing of her nightmares that had kept her up, and now, it was trying to catch up on her school work and rumminating over the situation with Matt and her father that kept her mind awake at night.

[Charlotte DuPrie]

Charlotte took the hankercheif and placed it gently on her lip. Sighing she nodded and knew the older girl was right, but sometimes it was easier said than done. Before adressing that though, she knew that the other would want an explanation about her lip. "I wasn't about to let myself cry over him. So instead of it, I bit my lip, I guess I must've bit down a little too hard." she explained softly. Holding the hankercheif there for a moment, she pulled it away long enough to explain herself. "I don't mean to worry about it, but lately, everything just seems to have been falling apart. The nightmares about my mother have begun to haunt my sleep again, which causes me to not sleep as well which then makes me more jumpy." Charlotte murmured running a hand through her wind blown hair. Putting the cloth back on her lip, she put pressure on there for a little while until she felt the blood stop. Looking down at the cloth, she muttered a cleaning spell to clean and disinfect it before handing it back to her.

She saw something behind her friend's eyes. Something she knew was hiding behind them and she raised her eye brows. "Well, I've heard through a source that you've been working on an extra potion project. If you're falling behind in anything else I can help you." she murmured looking out across the frozen lake. Everything was so calm here, so peaceful, why her life couldn't be like this she'd never know. It wasn't though and she'd have to live with it. Looking at her friend, she gently put her cold hand over the other girl's. "There's something else though, Alana talk to me. You can tell me what's wrong." she murmured gently.

[Alana Starbeck]

Alana raised an eyebrow at Charlotte's explanation, but nodded her head. She had done lots of things to keep herself from crying over her father and what he had done to her. But that was neither here nor there, this conversation wasn't about her, it was about Charlotte. Again, Alana nodded at the younger girl's words. She knew all too well about nightmares as well. She put her hand on the Gryffindor's shoulder, "If you want, I've some rather powerful dreamless sleep draught you can take. It helps with the nightmares." Her supply of her own, stronger version of dreamless sleep draught was well stocked now that she had been able to replenish her ingredients so she didn't mind sharing a vial or two. Especially because she knew what Charlotte was going through and could empathize with her. She gave a small smile at the younger girl before pushing the cloth back into her hand, "Keep it. I've got plenty."

Alana closed her eyes and reveled in the silence and serenity around her. She wished life could always be like this- so simple, serene, calm and relaxed. She opened her eyes and glanced at Charlotte, "Life's overwhelming me a bit and things are becoming complicated. Things that should be simple..." She let her voice trail off as she thought back to Matt and a smirk graced her face. Nothing with that boy was ever simple, she thought to herself wryly. He was helping her out, sending that owl off to his father to see what could be done about her own father, but Matt's patience had never been his strong point and he was practically pulling his hair out waiting for an answer. And then there was how she had hurt him by lying to him for so long. Alana sighed. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. She pulled her thoughts back to the current conversation. "I'm just confused. Like always." she muttered.

[Charlotte DuPrie]

Charlotte ran her fingers over the cool glass and she looked at her friend. She felt everything inside her gain at least fifty pounds and she closed her eyes for a moment. All she wanted to do was rest her body, to rest her mind, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon though. "Sleeping draughts do help...but only to an extent. When you wake up you still have the dream in the back of your mind." she murmured and put the draught in a safe compartment of her bag. Straightening back up she touched her now tender lip and let her hand fall back down to her side. Wrapping her arms around herself she tried not to let her sorrow shake her body anymore than it already was. "Oh Alana...there's just sometimes...I just wish so badly that I could fly away from all this. To just be...free. I mean, when it all comes down to it you have Matt, Sometimes I wonder; who do I have in the end?" She murmured, her mind was racing with so many thoughts and she was trying her hardest to stop them all, at least for a moment.

Leading her over to the edge of the rock, Charlotte sat down next to her and plucked a small snow flower and twirled it around in her hands before letting it drop back in the water. "You need to take a moment for yourself still you know...I mean...like go to the library and read a book you actually want to read or take a walk..." she murmured, concern evident in her voice. "I don't want you to get really sick because you've been working too hard." Whispering the last part she looked up at Alana with worry in her eyes. Thinking about her friend's relationship with Matt made her smile inside. They were truly perfect for each other, but Matt was taking forever to realize just that and with that thought she shook her head. Boys could be so dense at times, well, most of the time. "Are you sure that's all? Remember, I'm not the one to go and blab everything I hear."

[Alana Starbeck]

Alana watched the Gryffindor girl through blank eyes. It was a look she had learned at a very young age and she often times didn't know she was wearing it. She was worried for Charlotte, the girl was obviously going through some intense emotional issues, and Alana wasn't sure how she could help. "True," she replied, referring to the sleeping draught, "but at least when I'm awake I have control over my dream. I can force it from the forefront of my thoughts if I try really hard. When I'm asleep, it's always right there in front of me." she replied. Alana watched the girl shiver and she felt bad. She wished she was better at comforting, but she just hadn't been raised that way and try as she might, she hadn't fully acquired the skill. "I know what you mean about getting away. It is a lovely idea." Alana gave her a soft smile. "But I think even if I were to be away from here, I would still feel burdened. unfortunately, we take our baggage with us when we travel. Try as we might to leave it behind, it always follows." She chuckled to herself at the mention of Matt. She really was lucky to have a best mate like him. "Matt is wonderful to have. He's an excellent person to rely on, when his ego isn't around." she joked. "But, you do have mates Charlotte. Both Matt and I are here for you, you know that. And I may not be the best at comforting, but I'm a good listener, and I can always be there to listen." she patted the girls shoulder.

Alana sighed. She had been taking time for herself lately, it just wasn't getting her anywhere. All she was doing was running her thoughts in circles. "Trust me, I've taken time for myself and I've spent time with others. No matter where I am, I'm worried about things lately. That's just how it is I suppose." she shrugged. Alana quirked her eyebrow at Charlotte's question. She felt like the young Gryffindor was trying to imply something and she vaguely wondered if she had overheard one of her and Matt's conversations about his father's owl. "I know you won't blab, Charlotte. But, really, there's nothing." she responded evenly. "Why? What have you heard? she tried to make the question sound non-chalant, but Alana wanted to know what Charlotte was implying, if anything.

[Charlotte DuPrie]

Charlotte knew that her friend wasn't the one to like to be touched and such, but right then she really needed someone to lean on. Walking over to her, she wrapped her arms around the older girl's neck and just let herself lean on someone. "I can't always do that...sometimes they just invade my mind and I can't make them go away." She'd tried so hard up to that point not to cry, but right then she just couldn't hold it in anymore and cried. Turning away she walked away and tried to bring it all back in. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with all my life's burdens. I don't want to burden anyone else..." she cried, the wind whipping around her face. A tear fell down her cheek, and dripped off her chin. Looking up towards the horizon, she sighed and wrapped her arms tighter around herself, her dark hair making an eye pleasing contrast against her white coat. "Even if they come with me, maybe if I could just get away for a while I could try to sort them all out. Away from my father and everyone...but he'd find me. He always finds me and..." she lifted up her coat to reveal a smarting scar and bright purple bruise.

Nodding, she patted Alana's shoulder gently, in a reassuring way. "I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you. You're like a sister to me and I would be devastated if something were to happen to you." she admitted looking at her with a small smile. Laughing gently to herself, she would never admit that she'd listened into one of their recent conversations in the hallways while before announcing her presence to them. "I don't know, it just seems like there's something deeper that you don't wanna tell me. Though, I have a feeling a certain Matthew is behind all of this confusion....okay...so I heard a conversation in the hallway nothing big though!" she admitted, a small smile entering her eyes.

[Alana Starbeck]

Alana tried to fight the flinch that threatened to make itself known on her face. Charlotte had surprised her by lunging at her and hanging onto her for dear life. Alana didn't mind, she just hadn't been expecting it. Though, around Charlotte, she probably should have. The girl was very dependent on comfort from touch. She patted the girl's back in, what she hoped was, a comforting manner. She nodded her head in agreement with what Charlotte was saying, but kept quiet on the subject, she didn't feel the need to elaborate. Alana could feel as the Gryffindor started to sob and let her go as Charlotte pulled away. She felt bad, obviously she wasn't doing very good job of comforting her. "Oh, hush Charlotte!" Alana replied with more intensity than she meant to. 'You're not burdening me, or anyone else for that matter. Friends are meant to be there to help and listen when things are bad. If they weren't, they wouldn't be friends." she lightly chastised the girl. Alana knew she was being somewhat hypocritical, especially considering she hadn't told her best mate her secret for that same reason, and many others. The younger girl caught her by surprise again, showing her a nasty scar. Alana grimaced at the puckered flesh. She had a few like that herself, she thought, and then her face set into a hard, unreadable expression. "What happened to you?" Alana asked, her voice eerily calm.


She shook her head, "I know. And I appreciate it. But trust me, I'm okay" she flashed Charlotte a false smile. She was still curious as to Charlotte's line of questioning, the girl seemed incredibly intuitive tonight. At the Gryffindor's response, Alana raised an eyebrow and clenched her jaw. She tried to control her anger- her anger wasn't directed at Charlotte though, it was directed at herself, for not using more precaution when speaking to Matt. She didn't know how much Charlotte had heard, hopefully not too much, but she decided to play it cool and nonchalant. "Listening in, were you?" she questioned. "And, pray tell, what exactly did you hear that has you so worried over me?"

[Charlotte DuPrie]

Charlotte knew the older girl wasn't used to the comfort that people could give through touch, but right then she needed it more than anything. Wiping at the tears from her brown eyes she sniffed and wiped her eyes before letting out a shaky breath. Listening to Alana's words she knew that she was right, but still, no one person should always be the one to have a burden strapped to their back. Nodding, she walked back over to the ledge and let the icy wind sting at her now damp cheeks. "Yeah, I know. I just...I don't want you guys to feel like it's always going to be me crying on your shoulder. I want you to know that I'm there for you too and that it's okay to cry on my shoulder too." she mrumured turning to face her again. Looking down at her arm, she hadn't realized that it'd been exposed when she was rubbing her arms to get the blood circulating again. "It's nothing...really. It's not that bad." she murmured pulling her sleeve back down again. "Just...an accident with a knife and a flight of stairs is all. I was clumsy." she answered automatically, unemotionaly.

Nodding she smiled at her softly. "Okay, I trust you." she murmured and patted her arm gently. Seeing the older girl start to get angry she felt herself shrink and back away. Swallowing audibly, her hands raised themselves up to defend herself. Then remembering who she was with, she felt her hands lower themselves a few degrees. Her breathing still shook as she looked at the other girl. "N-nothing! It was just you and him talking about your next class. I know I shouldn't have listened and I'm sorry. Just...just..." she closed her eyes and regained her composure. "It's nothing to have me worried about, I just wanted to know if maybe there was something else there...besides friendship." she murmured looked at her feet. "I'm sorry..."

[Alana Starbeck]

Alana continued to rub the younger girl's back. "Don't worry, you're not a burden. And I know you're there to listen as well. And Matt," Alana paused in thought, a smile on her face, "we all know Matt likes to talk about himself all the time anyway, so I'm sure you will be hearing a lot from him." She couldn't help it, the boy did like to talk about himself. Alana tried hard to look past the tears streaming down Charlotte's face, but it was hard to do so. Every time one fell, Alana felt a pang of sympathy for her. She could empathize with her situation after all, they both had horrid fathers. She listened to Charlotte's excuse about her scar and Alana's eyes narrowed. She wasn't going to push Charlotte to tell her the story if she didn't want to, but she refused to be lied to. "A knife and some stairs, eh?" she replied, disbelief evident in her voice. 'Well, I frankly don't believe that story for a minute." Alana muttered. "You don't have to tell me, but don't lie to me either Charlotte." her voice was serious, but still concerned.

Alana's muscles were still tense from Charlotte's admission of eavesdropping. She seriously hoped the girl hadn't herd anything too secret. Alana wasn't sure she could handle more than Mat and his father knowing her secrets right now. She was impatiently waiting for he Gryffindor's answer, and planning how to obliviate the girl should she have overheard too much. Alana pushed that dark thought way back into her head, she could never do that to Charlotte. She sighed internally. At Charlotte's response, Alana almost released a huge sigh of relief. So, she hadn't overheard about the owl or her secret, thank Merlin! She tilted her head in slight surprise and confusion. Charlotte was worried because she thought Alana liked Matt more than a friend? Alana felt as if she had been hit by a flock of hippogriffs. Did she like Matt as more than a friend? He had been her best mate for almost 7 years now and he had always been there for her, not once letting her down, even when she disappointed him. They had laughed together, cried together, and quite possibly soon might be fighting side-by-side together- and Alana found herself suddenly heartbroken at the possibility that that could ever end. She couldn't picture her life without Matt in it and yet she knew he would eventually find a girl to settle down with and forget all about her. At that thought, something deep inside her twisted painfully. Maybe she did like Matt more than friend? She realized she had been silent for far too long and she looked over at Charlotte. Alana felt bad for having jumped to conclusions. "I'm not mad.' she tried to make her tone soft and calming. "And as for Matt and me... I think... I don't really know what I think." she faltered. "I mean, he's my best mate, so of course I love him. But, I guess you're asking if I... like him." she paused. "I.. I guess I do." her voice sounded surprised at her own admission.

[Charlotte DuPrie]

Charlotte couldn't remember feeling so safe in a long time. Sure, she felt safe at Hogwarts, but that all had to end sometime. At least with her friends she knew that they would always be there somehow. "Yeah, thanks Alana." she murmured and sighed. Laughing about Matt though she shook her head. That boy, she thought at one point she'd liked him, but found it to be a school girl crush and moved on. "Yeah, sometimes I worry about him and that little habit of his." she teased, she loved to have fun and poke at him without him there to put his own two cents in, it was much more fun that way. Looking up at Alana, she felt guilt course through her veins at the look. Sighing, she knew she could easily tell Alana, she was someone who would understand. Motioning for her to sit, she paced a moment before starting. "It was recently, right before Christmas actually. I...I had the knife up in my room to defend myself. My father had been sending suitors up and some of them were being...persistant. Well my father found out about the time and so he slit my arms open so 'I would know what it was like', then he kicked me down the staircase, ripping them open even deeper." Her voice was drained, exhausted, sounding as if it were robotic for a moment.

She was a bit taken back about how Alana had reacted to everything. Swallowing she bit on her lower lip, but only for a moment as pain seared through her mouth. Closing her eyes, she bit back the curse that was making it's way to her vocal chords. Her thoughts soon turned to Matt though. She remembered when she'd first met him, she'd had a crush on him. It didn't last long though, and for that she was glad. He was like a brother to her. Nothing more, and nothing less. He had seen her at her lowest, right after losing her mother, and helped her from the ashes. She wondered for a moment if Alana was going to hit her, hated that she thought that, but she knew that her brain was going back into what it was used to. All she had known of situations like this one was abuse, physical, emotional, and otherwise. Flinching, she closed her eyes and braced for imapct against the rockwall that she was now against. When it didn't come, she opened her eyes, a scared look in them despite her wishes. "Well...yeah. I mean, I don't like him like you do...he's like a brother to me. I won't lie to you, I did like him when I first met him, but it all ended quickly. It was just because he took care of me after my mother died and...when I moved past the worst part of the grief, the infatuation went away." she explained running a hand through her hair. When she heard the confession she smiled gently at her friend. "You two are really good for each other, I hope you two realize that someday." she murmured and nodded, still afraid to move from the wall.

[Alana Starbeck]

She nodded her head at Charlotte's thanks. She wasn't going to keep reiterating the point that Charlotte was not a burden, obviously the girl was not inclined to believe her anytime soon. Alana sighed to herself, but focused on the conversation at hand. She chuckled at the Gryffindor's comment. "He does talk an awful lot more than is normal, doesn't he? It's almost scary." She rolled her eyes, thinking of Matt and his ever-moving mouth. He not only liked to tell stories about his family, he debated about school, classes, politics, and his infallible ability to be the best at everything. The more he talked, he bigger is ego became. Alana shook her head: now was not the time to dwell on Matt, now was for Charlotte. So what if Matt happened to be the topic of conversation? She needed to stop thinking and talking about him. Alana felt like she was losing her mind, her head was swirling with random, senseless thoughts. But, her mind snapped right back into focus as Charlotte told her the story of how she had gotten her cuts. Alana's eyes narrowed to slits and she could feel her blood begin to boil. That sounded almost like something her father had done to her. She clenched her jaw together in fury. How could someone hurt Charlotte like that? How could someone do that to their own child?! All the anger at her own father, coupled with the anger she felt for Charlotte, started to boil over and without her realizing it, her eyes started changing colors rapidly. They were flashing blue, green, violet, brown, black and back again as she spoke."I will never understand how someone can do something like that to their own flesh and blood." she hissed angrily, her eyes finally coming back to their normal hazel hue. "People like that..." Alana didn't finish her sentence, rather she grabbed the girls arm to take a closer look at it. The cut had been very deep, probably needing magical stitches or some kind of medi-witch healing. Any kind of healing Alana could do now wouldn't help much. But, she could show her a few concealing charms. Alana tapped her wand over Charlotte's arm, muttered a few words and the scar disappeared. "Top notch concealment charm. Works wonders for hiding the scars from others and yourself." Alana couldn't meet her friends eyes, she didn't want her to see the pain, guilt and shame in them.


Alana noticed Charlotte flinch and back away from her. She gave her a curious look before asking, "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong? Why do you look like I'm about to tear your throat out?" She tried to keep the pain out of her voice. she didn't want Charlotte to be afraid of her, but the girl looked terrified. She tried to shake it off, "I think every girl who has passed through Hogwarts, while he's been coming to school here, has had a crush on Matt. Probably one of the reasons his ego is so big." Alana joked. She shrugged at the Gryffindor's comment, "I'm not so sure that we are perfect for each other, I think we might hex each other instead of....whatever romantic things couples are supposed to do." she tried to keep the conversation light. She had just realized her somewhat feelings for Matt and hadn't yet had a chance to analyze them thoroughly. "But, who knows?"

[Charlotte DuPrie]

Charlotte laughed and nodded. When it came to Matt, there was almost no shutting him up. Unless of course you just simply walked away, that always seemed to work well. Laughing at the thought she shook her head. "Yeah, him and his ego right? I mean, he can't just seem to stop talking, sometimes it's a good thing though you know? I mean, like when you don't want to listen to your thoughts, then he's good for that." she pointed out and shook her head. She dearly loved Matt, but it only went as far as a sister would love her own brother. She watched as Alana became angrier after she had told her the story of the scar on her arm. She looked down at where it began, it was still an angry red and it still hurt to touch most of the time. She wondered though, if her father had wanted children why he treated her the way he did. Maybe it was because she wasn't a boy...that could always be the case she knew. "I don't understand it either...I mean...if he even wanted children then why..." the question died on her lips and vanished away with the blowing wind. Sighing, she looked down at her now concealed scar that daggered up her arm. "Thanks...but I know that it needs medical care. I just...I just can't go to the hospital. I mean, what would I tell them? He'll kill me Alana...if I tell anyone...or if he found out..." she hated the emotioned that made her voice ragged. Bracing herself against the wall, she felt completely drained and exhausted.

Shame evaded Charlotte's dark eyes. She knew that Alana wouldn't hurt her and yet..old habits died hard she knew. "I'm sorry...it's just instinct I guess. When someone gets annoyed or mad with me...I hide or...I try to at least." she explained, her voice and eyes pleaded for the older girl to understand. Hearing the comment about Matt though, she had to agree with. Well, not all girls, but most of them! That only helped his already abnormaly large ego. "Yeah, I wonder what'll happen to him when he meets a girl who doesn't ever have a crush on him." she commented aloud and laughed at the thought. Shaking her head she smiled at her and nodded. "Only time will tell I guess, just see where the roads take you."