so this thread is going to consist of events in lexi's life that have shaped whom she is to people. they will include from her childhood as a human to her with her present sire. they will not be any particular order, just what i have a muse to type at the time.

**caution** they may consist of graphic events including, sex, blood, violence, death, etc. consider yourself warned.

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title: On the Edge

Lexi flew over the banister of the second floor, crash landing on a table with a large mirror on it. She felt the legs give way and tumbled completely to the ground. Her eyes looked up at her sire. Once again, she was being punished for her mouth. She was tired of living under his thumb. Doing everything he demanded. Where was help when she needed it? She could make out the snarled smile across his thin lips right before she felt something move next to her. The mirror. It toppled down on top of her, shattering in pieces, some digging into her skin. She could feel it like thousands of needles, piercing her flesh. If she had flowing blood, she would have been bleeding profoundly. Her body ached as she pulled herself up from the broken frame, practically digging through it, what was left anyway.

Lexi cringed as she stood on her feet. He'd moved to stand over her. "Now look what you did. Hold out your arm." he demanded. Lexi faced him, determined to not move. She shook her head curtly at him, trying not to show him the pain the fall had given her. He glared at her and then grabbed a bigger piece of mirror and her arm. He pulled her arm out and ran the glass across it, breaking the skin, causing her bleed. She would have bled more if she was human. Her eyes watered from the pain but she refused to shed them or call out in pain.

"Stop," she spoke to him when he reached just below her elbow with the deep wound. She felt a hand hit her with more power then a normal human, sending her face searing to the side, in pain. She felt a gash and realized he'd used the glass against her cheek. It hurt and she couldn't help but groan from the pain. And this was one of the good days. And then, that was it. That was all she needed to fight back. She kicked him in the stomach, sending him back a good ten feet and ran to the kitchen. She grabbed a silver knife and held it out in front of her, arming herself as she heard him come in.

"Don't mess with me bitch," she heard a voice in the back of her and spun around in time for him to stop just short of the knife. He quickly backed up from her, knowing she would plunge the silver knife into him if she was given the chance. A snarl was across her lips. She couldn't let this continue anymore. He lunged at her, attacking her arm and she dropped the knife. As she went to run, he tripped her and then climbed on top of her. She thrashed under him but couldn't do anything about it. He grabbed the silver knife and held it to her neck.

"You're mine bitch, you know this. Go ahead, hit me again. I'll kill you."

"Then who would you get to fake orgasms?" she asked him angrily, strained from the knife against her neck. She pushed him off of her and quickly got up. She ran through the hallway, grabbing a pair of keys, and throwing herself through the door quickly. She slammed it but it never completely shut. The problem was, her sire had the ability to run at amazing speeds. He tackled her on the edge of the street and held the knife at her throat again.

"Get up, now!" it was in the middle of the night, so chances of someone being around to see, were slim. She slowly moved to her feet and watched him, the entire time. Her eyes remained locked on him. He smiled, seeming amused. "Fake orgasms huh? Didn't seem that way last night."

"Guess I'm a better actress then I thought," and there was her mouth again. He placed the knife harder against her skin and pulled her up against him so nobody looking in on the scene could really make it out. They would think they were just a couple, getting frisky outside in the dark. There were no lights around her sire's two story house. He'd broken them all and every time someone came to fix them, he'd broken them again.

He moved a hand to her breast and squeeze it through her shirt. She moved under him, trying to get away but he had her pressed against his chest too strong. Her back could feel the contours of his disgusting body. She felt dirty just thinking about it. "Get back inside." he loosened his grip on her and she took the chance. Lexi threw her heel back, kicking him in the groin. He fell to his knees and she ran to his black sports car. She jumped in, locking it, and threw it into gear, hitting the gas heavily. She kicked up rocks as she sped out onto the road. Her eyes looked around and her sense of smell kept place for her sire. He was not following yet. She swallowed a lump in her throat. And then her emotions and pain hit all at once. She was driving out of the city and her eyes were pouring out with tears. She felt useless and helpless. And the worst part was that she would have to return eventually. Eventually when the call for her got so strong that she was forced back. The bond she couldn't prevent from him. Was that why he didn't follow her? She pushed harder on the gas, coming soon upon the golden gate bridge.

There was small traffic. She shook her head and sighed. She quickly turned the car to the side, sharply, as she came to the edge of the bridge. She collided with another car, sending the sports car shooting into the air. It hit a few pieces of the bridge and sent her shooting over the edge. Her sense of hearing could hear people gasp and dial phones in their cars. If she couldn't take herself out of her life, maybe this was the only object should could take from him. After all, he loved his black sports car. She had been fond of it too.

The pressure of the speed versus the water, was surprising. She could feel the car smash like a toy as the current hit against it and it sunk. It took her a moment to realize that she had landed upside down in it. Her head felt slightly fuzzy and she realized that she hadn't worn a seat belt and her body suffered from it. She knew she wasn't going to die, but it meant her sire could attack her easier as her body recovered. Lexi felt the water take her down farther. Since she didn't breath, suffocating wasn't a problem. She pushed against the pressure on the water and managed to finally break her door's window into the water. She slipped through it, cutting her shirt more and looked up at the surface. It was far too dark for her to be seen through the water. She imagined police were already starting to come.

Lexi broke the surface by a covering of dark bushes. She climbed out, worn out, and collapsed at the side. She sighed as she looked up at the dark sky. She could hear the sirens from the ambulances coming to retrieve here before it was too late. She felt her eyes swell and demanded them not to fall. They fell anyway. She curled up in a ball and grabbed onto her body, wanting nothing more then to be dead then return back to that house. She didn't want to be immortal. Why hadn't her first sire let her die on the street and be burned in the furnaces or buried in her home land? She cried until it hurt. What was there worth being here?

As Lexi calmed down, she felt a rustling in the trees nearby. She quickly sprang to her feet.

"Little Lexi is crying?" it was a mocking tone. She knew whom it was. One of her sire's friends. Draiden. She felt her body being tackled to the ground and felt her clothes being ripped at. She didn't have the energy to fight it. And felt him slip his cold hand under her skirt.

"Get off me!"

There was a cackling to the side, one that made her stop from fear. "You can't escape me Lexi. You're mine for all immortality." She felt him cover her mouth, holding the knife to her throat, as his friend raped her. Her eyes swelled up from the pain inside. The hollow feeling she felt. The feeling of nothingness. That she was nothing, wasn't worth anything.

title topic: the end

"Andra," came Lexi's little sister, Elektra's, voice. Lexi looked down at her sister. She wasn't much sorter then her but she was short enough for Lexi to look down at and smile. She adored her siblings. Her family was all so close that it really was surprising for Lexi to imagine getting married and moving away. She still imagined it though. She imagined meeting a jewish boy, practicing his religion faithfully. There was a boy down the street that she had admired after lessons. He wore proper clothes. He'd smiled at her that very afternoon. She would be turning eighteen soon. She was already old enough to marry but her parents didn't want her married to anyone. They wanted their daughter happy.

"Andra, Why can't I come with you?" Elektra asked, pouting cutely. Elektra always called Lexi, Andra. She never knew why but she loved it. Nobody else did, not even Heinrich.

Lexi smiled at her, lovingly. "You know you can't. What if you get lost? Mum is waiting for me to bring back the materials for dinner," Lexi replied to her younger sister in Austrian. She placed a hand on her sister's cheek and bent down, kissing her nose.

"Will you play when you get home? I want to make Mum and Dad a surprise."

Lexi held out her pinky to her sister and they linked their smallest fingers together. Then they bit down on their thumbs and winked at one another. It was their promise to one another, better then any written contract. Lexi kissed her sister on the forehead and then left the house. She traveled with a small basket. Germany was beautiful sometimes, and sometimes, the rain really got her her. Today was a good day. The air was clear and smelled of the market's goods. She hurried to catch a baker laying out fresh loaves. She pulled out a small cloth and wrapped the fabric around it as she paid for it.

Lexi strolled through the market, picking what was needed. She never got more then what the family needed. They weren't the wealthiest family, but their love was wealthy in the Black's eyes. Love conquered all. As lexi passed a fruit stand, she overheard a disturbing conversation.

"You mean--" the woman's voice spoke in low Austrian. Lexi stopped and pretending to be occupied with a few pears as she listened in on the conversation between two women, speaking her native tongue.

"Took them out this morning. Things are happening, it's become...dangerous. I hear they have set up camps...enslavements...I'm getting my family out as soon as possible. YOU have nothing to worry about, your husband is german and so are your children."

Lexi's heart dropped in shock. What was happening? She listened harder, forgetting manners.

"Have you seen the posters? The flyers? They depict us as someone terrible. You better get home. Your jewish confines are in as much danger as anyone living here. My husband may be killed for trying to protect me. He could be killed even for marrying me, I am told."

Lexi's heart was slowing in beating. She was scared and her hands proved it. She quickly rushed away from the conversation, picking the last materials for their home cooked meal and took the trail home. As she rounded a corner, she let out a small gasp at the scene. A group of German soldiers were smoking a few blocks from her home. She looked out to see her home but it was too far. She crossed the rocky road and hurried her pace, racing to get home. She had to warn her family, they needed to leave Germany. They were no longer safe. She had thought all the posters and things were just silly business, but could they really have camps? And what happened at these camps? She shivered at the thought and jumped as she heard a man's voice.

"Hey!" he whistled piggishly at her. "Come to me baby, I've got something for you to put in your basket." Lexi glanced over her shoulder to see the group of them falling in towards her. He was speaking German. She shuddered with fear and tried to quicken her pace. It only drew them in faster. She could hear the group laughing together. Lexi dropped the basket and started to run as fast as she could towards her home. She knew the men had guns but they didn't shoot. She could hear them running after her though, and she pushed herself as hard as she could. But they caught up with her and pushed her against a wall.

"Where ya going hunny?" one asked and took her hand, running it along his chest to inside his pants. She turned her head away from him, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Please..." she pleaded in the best german tongue she could, having never been forced to do anything like this. She wriggled under his tight grasp. His friends laughed.

"Look at that, she's already begging me," he remarked and his friends laughed again. Lexi felt her hand slip farther no matter how much she resisted it.

"Sounds like she's a rat." Rat was a common name for someone Austrian-Jew. The voice was coming from her side. She could practically hear the scowls as she looked from one face to another. The man holding her, quickly let go of her and threw her against the wall.

"Go warn your family that you're going to die." They laughed together.

Lexi took off running again. When she got to her house, it seemed still. A few windows were broken. She quickly threw the front door open. "Mother! Father! Elektra! Rich!" she looked around frantically, desperately, for the people she loved. As she rounded the corner to the kitchen, she saw the kettle water boiling over and her little sister, on the ground, with a hole through her head. The expression on her face, the lifeless body. She knew she would have nightmares about it for years. She gasped from the horror and started to cry. The echo of promise seemed far ago, ages even.

Next to Elektra was her younger brother, Heinrich, with a bullet through his chest and through his throat. Lexi was sobbing hysterically. She looked down at her shoes to see blood all over. She looked around more and saw her mother. She was hardly distinguishable. She was clothesless and huddled in a lump against the corner. Lexi screamed out and quickly ran over to the corner, trying to find the upper part of her mother in the crumpled heap. Why hadn't she been there? Why hadn't she come home right away? Why had she left them to die like this? It was terrible! Who could do this? Why? She closed her mother's cold eyes and watched as tears fell upon her naked form.

"Mummy," she breathed, having trouble controlling herself. She quickly got up and backed away from the mess. She looked around for her father and began a wild search. By the time she was coming back down in her frantic search, she found nothing to show her father was there. But where was he? Had they killed him too? Or was he still alive? Lexi didn't have time to think about it as she saw the nazi soldiers in her front room. She would have gone for the door, had she been near it. They were blocking her path.

"Come on Rat." She felt one of them pull at her hair and hold a gun at her head. She quivered fearfully under his grasps as he and his friends pulled her into a nearby alley and ripped off her dress. Each time she fought against them, she would receive a blow of the butt of a gun, with a man's complete force behind it. Her nose bled and she had to spit out the blood. She pleaded with the man doing it, that he would stop. He seemed to love her pleas. He pulled his pants down and then his friends held her tight. She yelled out in pain as he took her innocence and was silences with a hand.

"Shame to let a pretty thing like you go to waste. And so fresh and untouched," came his voice and she felt another hit, this time, a fist, right into her face as she tried to fight him off of her. She could feel the pain and couldn't stop it. She bit down on the hand covering her mouth and was slapped for it and the pace in her became rougher. She cried as he finished up and another took over as she received more blows. Crying, she pleaded completely for her life, not fighting anymore as the second finished up with her. They dropped her on the ground, naked, and kicked her until she was inches from life, then she felt them pull to her feet and being dragged away. She didn't know where she was going but pleaded with them to let her go. They didn't hear any of it and she felt her body colide with another as she was being thrown into a truck.

"What happen to her?" she heard a man ask. People and bodies blocked her view. She just listened, trembling and tried to put her dress back on, although it was torn practically in two.

"Just testing to see if she was strong enough. She's good, but barely. May have to send her later."

"Make sure to clean up. Don't want that nasty stuff on you," the first voice replied and Lexi felt anger. How could he say that? She wasn't filthy! She wasn't nasty! They had done it to her! To her family! How could they think she was the disgusting, evil one? She threw her body back against another. There wasn't enough room to even sit alone. She cried inbetween her cold, naked, defiled, legs.

title topic: Immortality

Lexi lay awake, thinking about a way to get out of the camp. She'd been there for months and could feel her body slowly waring down. The only thing that kept her alive was knowing her father was out there too. He was her only blood. She didn't know how long they would last, but one thing was certain. She needed to get out. Lexi brushed her thumb along the numbers that had been tattooed into her wrist. Her numbers. 48992 stared back at her, mocking her. To these men, she was just another number. She meant nothing to them. That had been evident the day she was imprisoned under them.

Lexi couldn't sleep. Her stomach growled from hunger. Her bones could be seen through her skin. She'd seen a man die of starvation less then twelve hours ago. Another of dehydration. Another of being beaten. She herself, had endured enough beatings to fix her for a lifetime and beyond. Lexi shivered as a cold gust of air swept over the camp. The clouds above threatened to pour rain upon them. Lexi pulled her small, torn, worn out dress, closer to her body as she kept her eyes on the clouds. She sighed heavily. Thoughts of Elektra, Heinrich, and her mother, drifted into her mind and she had to stiffle tears and cries or else she would have been beaten and demanded to get to work or sleep. She wasn't allowed to daydream. She wasn't allowed to even breath without their permission. 48992.

Over the months, Lexi had examined the main parts of the gates of the camp. She'd watched hundreds fail in their attempts and be shot down. There wasn't a night where she didn't hear a bullet go off and a falling corpse break the silent air. The twenty-two year old made a plan to sneak out, but, would she make it? Or would she be one of those falling corpses. Lexi glanced down at her malnutricianed frame. She was already a corpse, just breathing. She knew she had to do it. Lexi stirred and sat up. The woman next to her woke from her sleep and looked at her suspiciously. Lexi covered the woman's mouth with her hand and held a paper out to her. It contained a note for her father. She hoped they would reunite again. She didn't know where in the camp he even was. She'd seen him that one time and then that was it.

"Give this to my father please," she pleaded to the woman in Austrian and then repeated it in German as well. The woman nodded, although it was plain in her eyes that she feared for Lexi's life. She was about to make a mistake, according to her expression. But Lexi shook her head, convinced she had to try. She then crawled away from all the dying persons lain together for warmth. Lexi planned it just right and moved only when the lights of the guards moved. Her heart was pounding wildly as she ran. full speed, to a gap in the gate. Before the camp, she would have never fit through it, but after all her months of torture, she slipped through easily.

Lexi was a good twenty feet away from the gate when she heard shouts and guns. She bit down on her lip, hoping she was far enough away to escape their attacks. More shouting, cursings in German. Bullets hit the dirt around her and it seemed she was moving far too much for them to actually gun her down. Then suddenly, she felt a bullet tear through her side. It ripped at her like a knife through melting butter. She could feel it's searing hot shell ramming through her skin and body. Lexi collapsed partially on the ground but quickly forced herself back up and over a small hill. She could hear the men start to arm themselves in cars to chase her, making sure she was dead before returning back. Lexi couldn't remember someone actually escaping this far. She threw her body on the ground as a jeep passed with guns, shooting all around. One bullet hit the ground near her face, just missing her cheek by centimeters. Lexi whimpered quietly as she shuffled through bushes and shrubs to get to a town she knew to be close. She held one hand to her open wound at her side.

What seemed like an eternity later, Lexi finally saw a town in sight. She walked like a zombie towards the lights in the town. It seemed slightly bustling, which meant it was more of a neutral town then one for German soldiers. She didn't know how far she had traveled but she knew she had lost a lot of blood. Her head was fuzzy, dizzy even. She fell multiple times in her attempt to stay vertical.

The Austrian prisoner threw herself against a lamp post, clinging onto it with the last remaining breaths of her life. She had escaped, but to die like this? In the street? Her hand had dried over with blood and often refreshed with new, wet blood. It was covered with red stain that only blood could do to a person. She felt her body hit the ground and her eyes flutter. She couldn't see anything but knew her eyes were still open. She was only partially aware of the commotion around.

"Are you alright miss? Back away everyone!" Lexi heard a masculine voice. She forced her eyes to open wide but the loss of blood prevented her from seeing past the haze and fuzz of her gaze. She felt her body being lifted up. The next thing she was aware of, while her eyes were completely shut and refusing to open, was the comfort that only a bed or couch could bring.

Lexi felt a sharp pain into her neck, like two daggers digging through her flesh. She cried out in pain but a hand quickly covered her mouth. The cry died out because of the lack of energy and then she could feel her lungs forcing for breath. The air caught in her chest multiple times and she had to push it out and gasp for more. Finally, it seemed over. She took her last breath but then felt something wet hit her tongue. It was salty, almost bitter, but against her unhealthy body, it was like wine or the perfect meal. It hit her tongue and she felt something against her mouth. Lexi sucked, begging for more of the bitter liquid. The meal continued for a small elapsed time until it was quickly pulled away. She could fully open her eyes and looked up at a man, almost scruffy in appearance. His eyes were an amber color. She looked at his body, looking at the man whom had saved her, and noticed his arm had a large gash in it. In his other arm, a knife. She lay there, in shock. Had she just? She couldn't complete her thought. She didn't care. He had saved her. She felt healthier! She owed him her life.

twenty hours later...

Lexi was fighting the pain that seemed to be tearing at her small body. She felt it at her chest, where her heart was to be, and at her lungs, even pain in her mouth. She screamed and thrashed against a pair of strong arms. She had been enduring the pain for what seemed like eight days, when the clock on the wall had only counted it for fourteen hours. She'd never felt pain like it though, not at the camp or when she was being raped. She felt her mouth fill with her blood in two areas, as if something was piercing through her skull. She felt a hole in her chest, empty, voice, but clawing at her like a monster inside, tearing to get out. She felt her lungs move but nothing supporting them. She felt pain beyond measure and couldn't contain it.

And then suddenly, it was gone.

Lexi went to breath and it wasn't until she had finally managed a "breath" five minutes later, that she realized she really didn't need to breath. The stranger that had fed her, now had his arm wrapped carelessly and was watching her from above her. He removed his arms from her and looked down, cautiously. "Are you alright miss? What's your name?"

His voice caused her a new flighted emotion. She trusted him, despite not even knowing him and having felt him holding her down. She blinked up at him, wondering whom he was. His hair was brown and shaggy. He had an unshaved but not thick, beard and connecting mustache. His body seemed almost too perfect and his height probably was over her a few inches.

"Fine..." Lexi replied to him still in her shock and awe at such a handsome man before her. "I'm Alexandra. But you can refer to me as Lex or Lexi."

She watched him smile and it caused her own lips to turn up. He placed a hand on her cheek and kissed the top of her head. "I am Bernaut. And you, are safe now."

Lexi felt elated. Her smile tripled, revealing her teeth and she looked up at him, hoping he was completely serious, but knowing she was. She was safe. The pain was gone and she was no longer a prisoner. Could it be that her life would start to look better now? She felt her emotions soar and quickly jumped up in the bed and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you," she cried into his clean shirt and she felt him rubbing her back. His hand was cold and it wasn't until she removed her hands from him and clasped them together, that she realized hers were cold as well.

Reading her expression, Bernaut placed his hand against her cheek again. So cold, and yet, still so comforting. Her stormy eyes looked at his amber ones. "This may be a bit too much for you, but I had to do it Lex. I had to save you. You were nearly dead." He gestured down at a table and Lexi saw the bullet that had lodged itself into her body. She turned back to him. "Lex. You are a vampire now."

title: Murder

Lexi smiled as she held onto a man's hand. It was late and she was sitting on a small boat. They'd been driving and walking through the last week during the night, to each destination. During the day, they hid away from the sun and waited it out, practicing their story and making plans. Since the war had been considered over, Hitler having shot himself, Lexi felt more relieved. She had lived through it all. So to speak. In reality, she had died. Died the day she escaped from the camp and been shot. Bernaut, her sire, had brought her back. Bernaut, the man whose hand she held.

Lexi felt lips brush her hand and she looked over at Bernaut as he smiled and brought her hand back down. He moved a hand to her cool face. She was still not used to being so cold. It'd been months since he'd changed her. She was still getting used to it though. Still getting used to being immortal. And worst of all, she missed eating regular food. Her first few weeks, she had refused to take blood from a human and Bernaut had allowed her to drink from him. As time passed, the taste of blood turned from bitter, salty, and tasting sour to tasting quite sweet and euphoric. And now, she craved it more and more.

Lexi watched Bernaut. He was older, wiser. He had assured her that he would take care of her and teach her everything he knew. He'd promised to fall in love with her. Lexi knew that she could love Bernaut. She didn't love him now, maybe aside from a good friend, but soon enough, maybe in a few years, she wouldn't have to act like his wife anymore because she would actually be it. It was something Lexi had wanted. Love. And no time was more important then after losing everything she had once considered love and home. One day, she would live like a princess, even poor and quaint if she had to. But she would be rich because she would have Bernaut, her husband, her love. Someday she would feel that. And thinking of it now made her smile.

"How are you feeling?" she heard Bernaut's German tongue cut through the air. He usually spoke in German. There wasn't really a reason not to. He had been from Germany his entire life and only had moved once or twice after being changed. But that was years ago, before Lexi had even been born.

"I-I'm fine," Lexi replied to him back in German. The question meant more then anybody around may have figured. He had meant her thirst. He was teaching her to control her cravings. Teaching her that killing and murdering for blood was not the answer. And she had been doing well, but he was still cautious. Lexi was cautious of herself too. She could smell the tempting blood around her on the boat, but she never was even tempted for a bite. Instead, she held his hand, for support. And he never let go of her.

And after hours of a boat ride, hiding during the daylight in a cargo area, the two finally reached England. It would be their new home. Bernaut had friends in England. Smelling the air, Lexi felt free. She felt free of the hold that Germany now had around her heart. The hold around the empty spots where her family members had once occupied.

--i'll finish later--