Favourite 'Office' Quotes, Self-Explanitory

Michael : Spamster.

Pam : Um... Pam, plus spam, plus?

Michael : Hamster.

Pam : Right.



Michael : Nobody likes beets, Dwight. You should grow something everybody does like. You should grow candy.

Todd Packer: Hey,what has two thumbs and likes to bone your mom? This guy!
[later]
Jim Halpert: Hey,what has two thumbs and hates Todd Packer? This guy!

Michael : Angela, your turn.

Pam : Michael, Jan's on the phone.

Michael : Oh! Angela, you were perfectly satisfactory this year. [slams the door in her face]

Kevin: I got myself as secret santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't.



Pam : Okay, well, sometimes the gift is really about the gesture, you know, like, what it means instead of what it is.

Dwight : You mean... like a ham?

Pam : [pause] No, not like a ham. It's about doing something so that the person knows that you really care about her. That you remember her--

Dwight: Okay shut up. I know exactly what to do.

Pam : I told them you cooked your foot.

Michael : I burnt my foot.

Dwight : Excuse me. May I have your attention, please. There has been an accident on 84-West. Cars have skidded off the road into the safety railing. Several cars have flipped. There is broken glass everywhere. Several people are injured.

Pam : Do we know anyone who was in the accident?

Dwight : Brad Pitt. Also, there will be no bonuses.

Stanley: Why would this affect our bonuses?

Dwight : They are unrelated.

Kelly: Is Brad ok?

Dwight : He will never act again. Also, this branch is closing.

Oscar: What the hell's going on here?

Angela: Are we out of jobs?

Dwight : Yes.

Kelly: This is karma because of what he did to Jennifer Anniston.

Michael Scott: He was kidding. Dwight was kidding and I don't know why because it wasn't funny and was, just, horrible.

Stanley: Michael, you said we were getting bonuses.

Michael : Alright, everybody in the conference room now. Let's go. Let's do it.

Stanley: [into phone] Cancel the wallpaper.


Michael : You know, it would probably be best if the person responsible would just come forward and accept their punishment.

[everyone looks around]

Michael : Alright, you’re all going to be punished.

Pam: What’s our punishment?

Michael : You’re all in time-out. Just sit there quietly.

[Phyllis reaches to answer a ringing phone]

Michael : Nooooooooo!

Phyllis: Afgani

Michael: What?

Phyllis: Afgani

Michael: No, that's a dog.

Pam: That's afgan.

Michael: That's a shawl.

Dwight: Canine AIDS?

Creed: Who has AIDS?

Jim: Guys, the afganistanines(something like that.I can't really spell it).

Michael: No, AIDS is not funny. Trust me,I've tried.

Dwight: Remeber on Lost, when the met the others???

had me laughing for days!!

Dwight: Who thought of this 'hillarious' one: annal fissures?

not exactly from the show...but still.

Dwight (totally freaked out): Darn it Jim!
Jim: No. Dwight, i did not make Conan O' Brien fall through the celing.

: )

i can't belive no one said this one yet:

Dwight: Count Choculitis?
Jim: {whistles} Sounds tough.
Dwight: Why did you do this Jim? Is it because you know i love Count Chocula?
Jim: Do you?

CLASSIC!!

Kelly: I cannot wait to get pregnant and have babies!

Ryan : [stares blankly and scared]

Angela: All right. But no cookie!

Dwight: (whispering)But what if i'm hungry??

Pam(on the phone with her mom): I don't know mom. He's my best friend...Yeah I think I am...Mom I have to go...I will... [hangs up as Jim walks closer] Listen, Jim...

Jim(to Ryan): So that's still going on,you and Kelly?