IGA Championship Title Holders

[The Enigma]

I've been pushing to get back in the states, Then to get back HERE... I finally DO all of that and what do I find? The one thing I figured would always survive has went belly up... So much for that. P.S., When I IM someone and go "Hey, What's up with IGA now a days?" it's not that motherfucking hard to say "It's closed" before you log the fuck off. And that's not directed at one person either, It's to a couple people. But whatever. Anyone know any E-Feds that haven't flushed in the year or so I've been gone?

[Kid Notorious]

I'm not sure TEH NIG~! would work in the small-time regional atmosphere, buuuutt....

http://s1.zetaboards.com/NotoriousWrestling/index/

New fed I'm running. Otherwise, Geoff, Devon and I are in ICWF, Alot of others are at SPW.

[The Enigma]

I was digging through some old stuff cleaning up my computer and I found something that actually had me laughing to myself, Figured I'd share with you guys, Some of you might actually remember this one.

---------------------------------------------------------------

[Backstage Enigma and Terminus were walking Shoulder to Shoulder, Talking back and forth to one another, Yoshikuni just a step behind them, mumbling incoherantly to himself. Enigma moved off to the side to round a corner, And there it was... The bane of his exsistance... His personal Kryptonite... The one thing that made his insides draw into tight knotts, His blood boil, And his vision blur with blinding hatred............





.........














.......................














No, Not Leon Corella... Though the two of them probably share the same ammount of testicular fortitude....















..............................




Kimberly Baldwin.... Enigma let out a long groan, Slapping his mask, Before grunting, shaking his hand out a bit as he leaned back some against a nearby wall. Terminus giving Enigma a look, Then Baldwin, Camera man and Mic at the ready like the good little soldier she was. She marched right over, Giving a big pearly white smile.]

Enigma: I say we let her talk to Taiki first... Might get so infuriated she'll walk off...

Terminus: I highly doubt it, Michael...,It's probably more likely that she'll react the same way that we do when he speaks....

Enigma: Nod and act interested?

Terminus: Exactly.

Enigma: You know... If he knows English we're so fucked... -glancing back over his shoulder at Taiki-

Taiki: -just nodded to Enigma, Clapping his hands once-

Enigma: And the fuck is with the clapping? He acts like when I look at him it deserves a small amount of applause or something...

Terminus: It's a sign of respect.

Enigma: Clapping at me is a sign of respect? Shit I've been respecting my dog at home for years then...

Terminus: It's different culture. In his country, it's considered a sign of respect.

Enigma: Toward dogs!?

Terminus: -Struggling to keep his voice even- Toward humans, Michael. Not toward dogs...

Enigma: True... They eat dogs...

Terminus: Um...I think you might be referring to Korea...

Enigma: Same difference... Watch, He'll agree.... -nods to Taiki-

Taiki: -nods back to Enigma, More of a sharp bow of his head-

Enigma: See?

Terminus: It seems that you have a point...

Enigma: I usually do...

Terminus: No, I mean about him learning English... He'll kick both of our asses...

Enigma: Or die trying....

Terminus: -smirking through his mask- Heh....

[Kimberly cleared her throat to get the guy's attention, Once both of them peered back at her, She smiled again, Lifting her microphone.]

Baldwin: So... Um... So like you guys are down one member after the assault at Devil's Night, How do you guys feel losing the most devastating member power wise in the Army?

Enigma: -looking back to Terminus- Seriously, How hard do you think it would be to teach him German?

Terminus: If we were going to do that, then why not just teach him English?

Enigma: ............

Baldwin: ............

Taiki: OBSOWETE AHMY NUMBA WAN!!!!!

Terminus: ....German it is...

[Kimberly again cleared her throat, Tapping her foot as she wagged the mic back and forth at Enigma. Blinking, He turned back as she cleared her throat, Almost getting the Mic in the face, Backing up some, swatting with both hands.]

Enigma: Jesus H. Christ on a Bicycle woman!! You can't just go throwing that thing out there! This isn't a Porn set, You're not Lex Steele, And I'm no damn fluffer. Keep your black magic stick to yourself! Bah.... -collects himself- Uh... What did you ask again? How are things going with you anyhow, Miss Nelson? Not breeding I hope... God those would be some retarded kids... Sniff paint, Eat Glue, Run into sliding glass doors, Poo themselves at the ages of 20 and above.... God that'd be horrible....

Terminus: Agreed...I'm not sure if I really want to consider that scenario for any length of time...*shudders involuntarily*

Enigma: Yeah, Me either... Must have been hell for Miss Corella.... ANYHOW!!.... Yeah we lost Marcus for a while... He's got some serious injuries, But overall I expect him to be back, And when he comes back... The Backstage area will never be safe. Not until he puts whoever did that in ICU... Or in the ground.

Terminus: I wouldn't want to be the one he's hunting...nor would I wish to be in the position of those individuals who have antagonized us over the past few weeks...

For, the likes of Donovan Keltrane and the Apathy Nation will soon learn that, even without one of its members, the Obsolete Army is still very capable of making them pay a dire price for their behavior. It doesn't matter whether the payment is exacted through Enigma's ability to apply submission holds, or as a result of Taiki's incredible aerial ability, or from my fluid, high-impact style...the end result will be their complete and utter decimation.

Taiki: Ah, Nigga-san, watashi ha kuufuku de aru.

Enigma: -blinking, Peering back at Taiki, Then to Terminus-

Terminus: -just shrugs- Well, if he starts cursing us, I'll know those words....

Enigma: No, No right, I know that... But can he say that on air? I mean I don't need the NAACP looking for me... I've had enough gimmick matches for the IGA in my career here. GVA/Liermann, Tommy Danger, GVZ, Tommy Danger/Leon Corella, GVZ, Corella/BMF, GVZ.... The last thing I need to see on a roster is "Enigma Vs. Al Sharpton in a Texas Bullrope Match!"

Terminus: Something tells me Sharpton wouldn't want to have anything to do with a big white guy wearing a mask from the south and a rope legally involved...

Enigma: Right then... Taiki said something deeply profound and threatening to the assaulters of McKenna... And I'll tell you what it was whenever we find some little Asian kid to translate for us... But it definitely sounded like he said Fucka You D'Andre at the end there...

Baldwin: Um... I think he said kuufuku de aru....

Enigma: You speak Japanese?

Baldwin: Um... Like no...

Enigma: Then shut the hell up and let me tell this story. I gotta find a little Asian kid....

Terminus: Uh, 'Nig? We really shouldn't refer to them "Little Asian Kids". It isn't what one would consider a "culturally sensitive" term...

Enigma: Really? Shit... I knew about Slant Eye, Gook and Dog-Eater... Asian Kid is bad too?

Terminus: Yeah... And I really don't think we can say those others on air either...

Enigma: What? Gook?

Terminus: *sighs*...

Enigma: Slant Eye too?

Terminus: *shakes his head* God help us all...

Enigma: Yeah we should stop there. We'll get enough Hate Mail for making fun of Taiki, We keep this up we'll get more cheap heat than Apathy Nation.

Terminus: Very true...

Baldwin: So... Um... Like what is it that you guys plan on doing next?

Terminus: That, Miss Baldwin, is a secret.

Taiki: Nigga-san, watashi ha jissai ni kuufuku de aru. shinken ni, watashi tachi ha taberu okonatte mo ii ka.

Enigma: ...Yeah, Secret, And Honda Suzuki Hayabusa Sushi Kawasaki, Like Taiki said...AND STOP WITH THE N-WORD ALREADY!!!

Baldwin: But he didn't say th...

Enigma: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT HE SAID!.... -clears his throat- Wow... Flashback.... Uh... It's Classified...

Taiki: Watashi ha anata no roba o kero u to omotte iru!

Enigma: No damnit! We've watched all three Roba-Cops twenty times now, I'm not watching that damn movie again!!

Terminus: (-blinks, and then with sigh, wanders off for a moment. He then comes back a minute or so later pulling a Kid by the scruff of his neck-) Well, it seems like we might have found ourselves a translator...

Enigma: -blinks, Looking over at the kid- OH MY GOD!! THANK MY LUCKY STARS! AN ASIAN!!

Kid: I'm Philippino you jackasses! (-dusts off Terminus' hand, Eyeing between the two, Wandering off-)

Enigma: Wait... That means he can't speak Japanese?

Terminus: ....I think Baldwin has a better chance of knowing Japanese...

Enigma: ....We're so fucked...

[Taiki releases a hearty Guffaw [that's a deep bellowing laughter for those who don't know.] and shakes his head before slapping Enigma on the back.]

Taiki: IGA NUMBA WAN! [Two thumbs up.]

[Enigma blinked, Turning, Eyeing Taiki, Whom eyed him back just as steady.]

Taiki: Mothra Fawka....

[Blinking, Enigma's right eye got wide behind that mask, the left still narrowed.]

Enigma: ...Did he just?

Terminus: ...I believe, He did....

Enigma: Well what motherfucker taught him that?!! And the little bastard slapped me!!

Taiki: Bahstahd!

Terminus: *clears his throat*

Enigma: -blinks slowly- Little mother... Wait... That means he's learning!!!

[Enigma throws an arm around Taiki's shoulders, Pulling him with him as he walks.]

Enigma: Walk with me, Little fella. We're going to teach you some things...

Terminus: *sighs* Here we go...

[Fade to black]