Title: Parenting 101
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 07:45 PM (GMT)
Luna shoved the kids out of the car. "Have a good day! I'll pick you up when it's over. Thomas, your mother has a date, so you'll be eating dinner at our house. Enjoy your Saturday!" She grinned and pulled off.
The teach of the class, was a big voluptuous woman named Tawanda. Her personality was like bottled sunshine, and upon walking in Keely thought she just might die.
"Hello Mommy and Daddy!" She gave a huge smile to the kids.
"Oh we don't bother with names here sweetie, we're all Mommys and Daddys here. You must be Mr. and Mrs. Cane! Mommy and Daddy in training. Professor Hamren already spoke to me about you being here today! So Keely, why don't you follow me, and we'll get suited up in a really neat vest you'll be wearing for the next few weeks!"
Thomas was left to sit with all of the other pregnant couples as they put Keely in a faux pregnancy suit.
"Alright! Now take five and we'll start with some trust exercises!"
Keely looked at Thomas, her hand resting on her new silicon stomach under her shirt.
"They're making me wear this. Even under my robes at school."
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 08:26 PM (GMT)
The overly happy teacher, being called Mr. and Mrs. Cane or Mommy and Daddy, the other students, the whole class and especially the fake pregnant stomach Keely was wearing all made Thomas feel sick. He didn't look happy at all.
Thomas pinched his nose. "Oh my god." He shook his head. "Does your mother want me to commit suicide? Because if that's what she's after, I'll just do it. If it's between that, and this class." He paused. "Did she say trust exercises? She does know that we are not having a kid, right? Because that's not how she's treating us." He huffed, not enjoying the air in the class room.
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 08:31 PM (GMT)
"I don't think that was her goal, but if she knew you felt that way, I'm sure it would spark some sort of interest. The pack is charmed on, and will only come off during my "designated bath times". Not only that, but if I get asked about it, I'm bewitched to say that it's yours before I'm allowed to do any explaining." Keely ground her teeth together.
"And no offense, but I'd rather be called Mommy, than Mrs. Cane."
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 08:39 PM (GMT)
"Tell me you are lying." Thomas said, his palms getting sweaty as her grew nervous. "This is insane. Your mother is crazy!" He sighed. "Honestly, I'd rather you be called Mommy than Mrs. Cane too."
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 08:44 PM (GMT)
"Yes well, after tomorrow morning the whole school is going to think I'm knocked up, and they're going to think that you did it."
"Okay Mommys and Daddys! Let's get started! Now being pregnant, you Mommys might sometimes feel like you're the only one carrying the weight of the baby. So today we're going to fix that. Each couple has two colored x's marked on the floor. I want the men to pick up their partner and carry her from one x to the other. You should be comfortable with your partner's body!"
Keely's face turned about six shades of red at that last part. "No way. I'm a blimp. He'll drop me."
"Oh come on sweetie! You're having his baby, show some trust! Daddy! Be careful with Mommy and baby, they are your precious cargo."
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 10:33 PM (GMT)
Thomas moved to sweep Keely off her feet, literally. He turned to the teacher. "If I drop her, will this pretend baby die?" He asked bitterly.
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 10:35 PM (GMT)
"If you fail any of the activities, you have to repeat the course." Twanada replied with an arched brow.
Stunned by his suddenness, Keely held on tight to Thomas. "I don't normally weight this much."
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 10:52 PM (GMT)
Thomas sighed and rolled his eyes away from Twanada. "Of course you don't." Thomas looked straight ahead.
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 10:54 PM (GMT)
Keely frowned pinched Thomas beside his ear. "Be nice to me."
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 10:58 PM (GMT)
"Ow." Thomas narrowed his eyes at her. "Fine. Only because everyone will think you're knocked up with my kid. I wouldn't be mean to the mother of my child. But after this crap is all over, we're done. Everything goes back to normal." He said flatly.
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 11:02 PM (GMT)
"Back to normal? Please. After this is over I never want to have to see your ugly face again. You're the worst person in the history of the world. You're mean and stupid, and you think that you're such a bad ass when in reality, your only redeeming feature is your hair."
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 11:05 PM (GMT)
"Oh, please. Stop it, you're making me blush." Thomas said mockingly. "The feeling is mutual, I assure you."
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 11:07 PM (GMT)
"I'm sure. Then why did you tell my mom that you started it?" Keely asked. "And if I'm so awful then why did you agree to sleep with me....twice?"
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 11:12 PM (GMT)
Thomas played pretend, and acted as if he were about to drop her but caught her before he did. "Oh, look, I almost dropped you. Maybe you should stop talking. That might help."
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 11:18 PM (GMT)
Keely gasped as she felt the air and latched on to anything she could...which happened to be the front of his shirt and his belt buckle. Once she was sure she was fine she turned yet another shad of red and let go.
"Put me down." She told him as she put her feet back on the floor.
Hours of more bullshit passed and it was finally time to go.
"Oh Thomas, we have something special for you to wear to school too. We can't let Keely be by herself in all of this."
Minutes later, Thomas was strapped into the rainbow front back, with the crying baby doll strapped in on front with a bib that had the words "Daddy's Little Man." written in bold on the front. It too was bewitched. Anytime anyone asked, he had to say it was Keely's. He also had to get up anytime it cried, and rock it back to sleep.
Keely couldn't get into the car fast enough. She sat as far away from Thomas as humanly possible and tried to choke back the tears, refusing to look at him.
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 11:23 PM (GMT)
"Dear lord, does the torture ever end?" Thomas grumbled as he received his special gift from the class teacher. "I look more like a gay daddy." He whined as he got in the car. Then he noticed Keely and her behavior. He paused for a moment. "Hey, do you think this baby makes me look fat?" Thomas asked with a faint laugh and a smirk.
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 11:34 PM (GMT)
"Huge." Keely replied, looking closer to the window.
After a while they pulled in to the Hamren's driveway. There was smoke billowing from the chimney and lights on in many of the large house's lovely windows.
"Welcome to our home, Thomas." Luna smiled as she got out of her car and let herself in.
Keely continued to sit in the car.
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 11:38 PM (GMT)
Thomas's stomach flipped at the sight of the home. He felt very uncomfortable and out of place being there. He stepped out of the car, but didn't close the door when he saw that Keely wasn't moving. "Keely, come on. We may not be friends, but I am not going in there with your siblings who hate me and two teachers from school alone. That's got to be one of my worst nightmares. At least I know you from school and you aren't about to jump out of your seat and rip my throat off. Well, you can't anyway..." He said, motioning to her fake pregnant belly.
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 11:40 PM (GMT)
"You think I want that? To go in there and face my father with you? To watch my little sister lose respect for me? Jason's in there by the way. He's my dad's nephew, and he and his sister and Uncle David always eat dinner with us on Thursdays."
Thomas Cane - October 15, 2010 11:54 PM (GMT)
"Right. That's part of your mom trying to teach you a lesson. Well, us but I'm a lost cause." Thomas shrugged. "What do you want to do? Run off? Run away? As if they wouldn't come after you. They care about you, whether you've got a big belly or not. So what's it matter?"
Keely Hamren - October 15, 2010 11:57 PM (GMT)
"Are you actually being nice to me again? Your mood swings are giving me whip lash." She bit her lip.
"I'll go in if you tell me why you lied for me. Why you agreed to my really bad ideas?"
Thomas Cane - October 16, 2010 12:05 AM (GMT)
Thomas shrugged. "I'm doing it for the class. You told me to be nice. But rest assured when this is over with I won't be anymore." He nodded.
"Uh," Thomas scratched his head. "I only was about to give in to your bad idea because you said I'd be a chicken if I backed out of it." He used that as his main excuse. It was the main reason though, he hated being called chicken and calling him that could make him do anything. It was a big weakness of his.
"And you said that you didn't want me to make you out to be a slut. I can't stand a girl crying, it's annoying as hell. That's the only reason I lied to your mom. I told her I did it so you didn't seem like a slut. So there. Will you get your peer-pressure butt out of the car now?" Thomas grumbled.
Keely Hamren - October 16, 2010 12:08 AM (GMT)
"Well that's fine but the first time we met you talked like you would eventually get me in bed. And even if what you say is true and that first thing was a joke...it doesn't account for the time Eli walked in on us." She added.
Thomas Cane - October 16, 2010 12:16 AM (GMT)
"I did almost get you in bed, just saying. But I was just being an ass." Thomas replied. "Eli is a want to be bad boy and so pissing him off amuses me. That's all." He answered her. "You got anything else you need me to draw out the common sense answers for? Or can we go inside now? Because I don't think your family will let me just go home. So I'd rather get this over with."
Keely Hamren - October 16, 2010 12:19 AM (GMT)
"Help me out." She told him as she stuck her arms out and had him pull her up. "You are an ass, Buddy. But I don't mind so much if the school thinks that you're my ass." She smiled at him and made her way up the driveway.
Thomas Cane - October 16, 2010 02:56 AM (GMT)
Thomas helped her as requested, and tightened his jaw with Keely's comment. He didn't say anything, because he didn't really know what to say. Compliments, at least that's what he took what she said as, were not something he was used to. Thomas followed her up the driveway and to the door, letting his inner gentleman take over as he held the door open for her with his other hand in his pocket awkwardly.
Keely Hamren - October 16, 2010 03:38 AM (GMT)
Keely led him in through the front door that faced the stairs. The walked into the kitchen were Luna was pulling parts of dinner from the oven.
"Everyone went for lasertag. So you've narrowly escaped death tonight." She smiled.
"I hope you're hungry. Thomas, what would you like to drink with your dinner? We have water and soda pop."
Thomas Cane - October 16, 2010 03:41 AM (GMT)
Thomas let out a relieved sigh, brushing a hand through his hair. "Yeah, water, thanks." He nodded.