Title: Talking with Colin
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 10, 2007 01:49 AM (GMT)
The trip from the party in the RoR to the Owlery was a silent one. Colin's aggrivation could still be felt within Aiedail. She walked up the spiral staircase and up to the Owlery, her dark hair swaying behind her with her robes. She kept glancing at Colin, feeling angrier with herself with every near-silent step. She bit her lip as they reached the Owlery and Aiedail let herself in, holding the door for Colin to enter after her. It was empty, and Aiedail was more than glad for that.
Turning to Colin, she couldn't bear to catch his gaze. She was full of despise and utter disgust with herself. She said nothing.
Colin Driscol - August 10, 2007 01:54 AM (GMT)
"Well, at any rate, I'm glad to see your not dead," Colin said bitterly, though he softened his tone down quite a bit from how he wanted to sound.
He crossed his arms again, as he let them hang loosely on the way, and let his dark eyes shoot daggers at Aiedal for a moment before shrugging and sighing.
"Where have you been the past few days? Aiedail...what's going on?" he asked, his voice now nearly void of anger, and rather more filled with concern.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 10, 2007 02:05 AM (GMT)
Aiedail frowned at the ground, still unable to meet his gaze. His first words stung her, even though she knew it was concern and relief. At his question, Aiedail finally pulled herself together, and looked up at him. She'd been ignoring her hurt ankle for hours and now felt the pain rush through her once again. Quickly she averted her weight from it, and used her other leg to support herself.
Finding her voice she replied hoarsely, close to tears at her foolishness, "I've been locked in the girls dormitory, and in the Forbidden Forest, once in the Great Hall, that was this morning. I haven't been leaving the dormitory other than for classes, and my trip into the Forbidden Forest." Aiedail didn't know what else to do with her arms, she decided to cross them over her chest, as if trying to ward off something unwanted. In this case, the unwanted thing was Colin to be upset with her.
Colin Driscol - August 11, 2007 01:52 AM (GMT)
Colin swallowed hard, feeling very much so like he could stick his foot directly into his mouth. Sure, he wanted Aiedail to feel remorse over making him worry sick like that, but...she sounded utterly distraught, and to Colin, that was the worst sound in the world.
"Oh," he replied stupidly, glancing to the side in confusion, as though he were trying to figure out how her answer explained anything. Girls can be so puzzling.
"Er...why?" he added after a moment, his tone now completely gentle and concerned. Slowly he stepped toward her, frowning.
"Aiedail...erm...did something happen with...with you and John?" He cleared his throat ever so softly and bit his lip, hoping she would correct him on his newly found assumption.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 11, 2007 02:09 AM (GMT)
Aiedail's foot gave a painful throb, as well as her very empty stomach and she tried not to cry out in pain, biting her lip instead. She listened to Colin, but did not interrupt, nor did she step back as he walked closer toward her. Silence fell again as he mentioned John, an uncomfortable silence that filled the air like a thick fog.
Biting her lips again, she looked down at the floor, and slowly nodded. She held back her tears as her throat constricted. She tried to speak the single word and felt even more irrational then ever. Her word came out a mere whisper, "Yes." She didn't look up from the ground, not wanting to meet his gaze for fear of what she'd see there. Aiedail didn't want to see any disappointment, anger, or anything else written there. Especially because she knew it'd be because of her.
Colin Driscol - August 11, 2007 02:23 AM (GMT)
Colin stood there for maybe a half-second before acting. He unfolded his arms, and burly and strong though they were, his embrace around her was ever-so gentle, yet still firm and present.
Silently he stroked her hair, turning his head to the far wall as his dark eyes slowly burned with both compassion and rage. Compassion for her, yes, but the rage...the rage was for John Crucifix.
"If he did anything to hurt you..." he said after a moment, through gritted teeth.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 11, 2007 01:47 PM (GMT)
Aiedail felt Colin's warm embrace wrap around her and she felt a bit comforted by his touch, and by his very being there. Aiedail moved her arms from her chest and wrapped them around Colin in return, completeing the embrace. He was warm and comforting, much like a shelter, someone to protect her and keep her happy.
Aiedail felt his hand on her hair and a slight shiver went up and down her spine. Her eyes closed, within the comfort she felt there and against the tears stuggling to fall.
"H-he s-said it was time to go to b-better things. We were going to the r-room of requirement." She fell against Colin, wanting to fall to the floor, but wanting to stay in his embrace. "I was so s-s-stupid..." Aiedail's voice trailed off.
Colin Driscol - August 11, 2007 04:01 PM (GMT)
"No, no...HE was stupid," Colin said, his tone still carrying both compassion and anger. He tightened his grip slightly as he took on more of Aiedail's weight, but maintained his sturdy stance, and his sickened-with-John-Crucifix scowl.
Still, his ever-present concern for his best friend seemed to blur the rage in his fire-ridden eyes. Normally for Colin, when overcome with a passionate anger, his eyes would glow a warning red, and eventually shoot flames. Instead of burning bright red, however, they simply swirled with black and a creamy sort of orange. Aiedail had always been the one to expose Colin's softer side. And holding her now, he realized he had certainly grown--physically and otherwise--since they first met. Back then he could barely see over the top of her head, now he towered over her, as his shoulders met her face.
"I...I'm sorry I was so cross with you," he said softly, making a bit of a face, as he felt quite akin to an ass at that moment having treated her the way he did.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 11, 2007 07:48 PM (GMT)
Colin's words comforted Aiedail and she smiled against all of her aches and pains. A strangled laugh, engulfed in a sob, escaped her lips. She didn't know what it seemed funny, but some how it had. Colin always seemed to make her laugh, even when he didn't mean to.
Aiedail buried her face in Colin's strong shoulder, and held on to him tightly. She was glad that it was him she was with at this moment. He had always been there for her. She hoped she was a good of friend as he was to her. As he had always been, from the very beginning on the banks of the Black Lake in their first year.
A hiccup found it's way from her lungs and when Colin spoke again, the tears started to fall. Not because of her loss off John, nor the pain she was feeling all over her body. No. She cried because she knew Colin cared so much for her; because she had caused him so much pain over the last few days.
"N-no. Y-you had reason to be cross." She let her breath out heavily against her tear stained face. "I shouldn't have done the things I did. I- I didn't...." she was at a loss for words. "I caused you to w-worry, over something stupid. I was selfish, inconsiderate, and foolish. I'm sorry..." the last words where whispered as more choked sobs were emitted.
Colin Driscol - August 12, 2007 01:17 AM (GMT)
Though he didn't tighten his grip anymore, Colin marginally changed the position of his arms, and swung his head around to her other shoulder. He gently shook his head, his jaw set.
"None of that's important now, Aiedail. You're in pain. That's what really angers me, and that...that's not your fault." Behind her back his knuckles whitened as his fists clenched.
"So stop feeling bad about making me worry, because you've got enough on your mind, and it's not fair for you to horde all of the burdens around here." He pulled back slightly, enough to see her face, and offered a feeble smirk.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 12, 2007 01:26 AM (GMT)
Aiedail smiled, as he pulled back slightly and looked down at her. She looked back at him with a watery smile. "Thank you, Colin," she whispered up to him. She felt better now that they had talked.
She continued to look up at him, a stray tear falling from her eyes every once in a while. "I owe you so much... Nevermind me and my stupid little problems." Aiedail relinquished one of her hands from Colin's back and wiped away the tears falling, then returned her arm to it's position on his back.
Colin Driscol - August 12, 2007 01:59 AM (GMT)
"Aiedail, that's enough of that rubbish," Colin said, his voice almost a growl as he gently took her by the shoulders, his dark eyes boring into hers.
"Now you obviously need to talk...I mean bloody hell, girls can carry so much emotion and pain, it's quite amazing, actually," he said, in a sort of mock-thoughtful tone, followed by another little smirk. He really wanted to see her smile again.
"So...erm...." He looked around, making a face at their owl dropping ridden surroundings.
"We could--talk here or...?" He breathed softly in amusement, his smirk growing.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 12, 2007 02:08 AM (GMT)
Aiedail couldn't help but laugh at his remark about girls. His hands on her shoulers sent another shiver down her spine.
"Obviously, you don't know much about girls." She said smiling. Aiedail looked around at their surroundings as well. A owl returning from a flight swooped in and landed on a post, eyeing them as it went.
"It doesn't matter to me, Colin. Here's fine for all I care. There's not much to tell." The foot supporting Aiedail was starting to get tired, but she didn't dare step on her other. So she shifted her weight to more of the back of her foot. Aiedail smiled as Colin's smirk started to grow into a smile. She loved his smile, becuase it meant he was really having fun. Unlike her fake one she'd been sporting all night, when Colin smiled, he really meant it.
Colin Driscol - August 12, 2007 08:26 AM (GMT)
"Right, well..." he said with a sigh. His dark eyes, now nearly void of any color, met the ground, and he sort of choked out a soft laugh.
"The ground's a bit...nasty," he said, scrunching his face and gently scratching behind his ear, "but if we sit on a pile of straw...over there, against the wall, there's er, a somewhat tidy spot."
He pointed and gave a nod to indicate the area, and in doing so ended their physical contact, embrace or otherwise. His smirk simmered down to a mere hint of a smile, still looking her way as he went to settle down on the mound of straw.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 12, 2007 01:55 PM (GMT)
Aiedail smiled at Colin's laugh. "Yes, it is a bit of a mess." Aiedail said looking at the owl droppings littering the floor. She crinkled her nose at it, listening as Colin showed her a spot they could sit. The straw pile was just barley large enough for two people.
Where Colin's hands left her shoulder's, it seemed as if the warmth had been taken away from her and a slight frown formed on her face for a second or two. Her simle quickly returning, as she watched him back to the straw, watching her.
Aiedail raised an eyebrow and looked up at the ceiling, as if she had to think about whether joining him or not. She smiled and followed Colin to the pile of straw, slightly, but hopefully not noticably, limping on her sore or otherwise broken foot. She sat down upon the space left beside Colin, biting her tounge as she had to use her foot some more. She kept her smile on her face to keep Colin from noticing anything though.
"So, where do you want to start?" She said talking about the last few days and what had happened.
Colin Driscol - August 13, 2007 12:18 AM (GMT)
"Sorry--were you--limping? Just now?" he asked, cocking his head slightly and frowning again. He ignored her question, as his primary concern was now whether or not she was physically injured.
(Part of the Lost & Found game)
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 13, 2007 12:25 AM (GMT)
Aiedail frowned, "No." She didn't need Colin worrying about her anymore, and she wasn't going to the Hospital Wing again. "I'm fine. No worries." She said smiling again. Another fake smile, she'd lost count how many of those she'd used this night. She hated lying to Colin though...
Colin Driscol - August 13, 2007 12:40 AM (GMT)
He huffed a sigh, then swallowed and shrugged. "I suppose...start with...where is...you know, where is he now?" Colin avoided saying the boy's name, as he didn't know what sort of emotional tugging it would to do Aiedail. He may have not known a lot about girls, but he picked up a few hints here and there, mostly by watching his sister. There was, however, a reason why he wanted to know where John was located. If need be, Colin would have a word with him.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 13, 2007 12:49 AM (GMT)
Aiedail shrugged, "Probably off snogging some girl, or more. As that's why he broke up with me. Said he wanted something more, something he coulnd't get from me...The prat..." Aiedail said. Insulting him felt good. "That's all he ever was you know. A big--ugh..." Aiedail couldn't come up with a good enough word.
"He's...you know that's probably all he wanted in the first place. Probably didn't even care about me...I was stupid enough to follow him, and let him lead me to where I am now...." she trailed off quickly. Not wanting Colin to know exactly what she had been doing to herself.
Colin Driscol - August 14, 2007 12:36 AM (GMT)
"I've had quite enough of you calling yourself 'stupid' already, thanks," Colin said, sounding quite cross, though he quickly followed his words with a soft smile.
"But back up a bit," he added, his smile fading. "He broke up with you..because...because..." Colin's face was steadily growing more and more red as he grappled with just how angry he was with John.
"...Because you wouldn't..." Now he wasn't sure how to word it, so he watched Aiedail for affirmation, still struggling with his thoughts, and still burning with anger.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 14, 2007 12:59 AM (GMT)
Aiedail gave a small smile in return to Colin's.
"That's pretty much it. Because I wouldn't do more with him." Aiedail felt disgusted with this thought, and her stomach turned from it and lack of any food over the last few days. Aiedail wrapped her arms around her stomach and, hoping the wall was as clean as it looked, leaned back on it and closed her eyes. The cold from the stone wall crept in through her hair and robes, and chilled her slightly.
Colin Driscol - August 14, 2007 01:05 AM (GMT)
Colin's jaw twitched, and his lips pursed together with such force, his face was nearly shaking. He took in a slow, steady breath, his nostrils flaring as he exhaled, and he stared daggers at the far wall, imagining the bricks made up John's face.
"He's dead..." he muttered darkly. Lifting his chin slightly, as though trying to keep his temper in check, he questioned Aiedail further.
"He didn't...try to..make you do anything, did he?" he asked in a waspish tone, his dark eyes slowly becoming red again.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 14, 2007 01:12 AM (GMT)
Aiedail smiled faintly, and tightened her grip on her stomach. When Colin asked another question Aiedail shook her head in reply. Her eyes still closed against the messy room.
"No, he didn't. He just ended our relationship on the dot. I guess he finally got tired of me."
OOC: shortest post I've made in a long time. lol.
Colin Driscol - August 14, 2007 03:30 AM (GMT)
"Okay," Colin replied flatly, though it wasn't without a sense of relief. His dark eyes, which had lost some of their scarlet coloring, flicked to the right in thought. He frowned, sighed, and thought how to best word what he wanted to ask.
"How long ago did he end it? Just a few days ago?" he asked.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 15, 2007 01:46 AM (GMT)
Aiedail was curious about why Colin really wanted to know this, but shrugged off her curiosity. Opening her eyes, she tilted her head back and looked up at the ceiling of the Owlery. The rounded top and the walls held holes for the owls to fly in and out of. A little sky could be seen through one on the opposite side of her and Colin, and she watched this spot while replying.
"Three days ago." Aiedail drew her legs up to her chest as well, sitting her injured foot gingerly on the pile of hay. Aiedail turned her gaze to Colin, her curiosity burned again, though she didn't know why she wanted to know so badly. Colin had probably asked out of curiosity, and so Aiedail did to. "Why?" Aiedail grew highly aware of how close they were sitting, for the narrowness of the straw.
Why am I starting to feel this way? Colin's a friend, he doesn't care for me like that. What am I thinking....? Just pay attention to the present, well the conversation at least....ugh, Aiedail pulled her thoughts back together and shook her head slightly, trying to ignore the thoughts that had formed there.
Colin Driscol - August 15, 2007 03:15 AM (GMT)
"And you've been hiding away ever since then?" Colin asked, his frown growing deeper and deeper. He distractedly scratched at the side of his head, just above his ear, and sighed.
"I'm mostly just curious I suppose, but...it's only, I haven't seen you in the Great Hall for meals, unless I've just been missing you." He looked imploringly at her, his dark eyes completely returned to their usual black, yet they demanded an answer.
"I suppose house elves have been bringing you food?" he added in a mumble. He didn't want to accuse of her not properly caring for herself, as he still felt guilty for attacking her earlier, but still, Colin was worried--and--close--awfully physically close at the current moment, to his best friend. A strange sort of creeping feeling welled up from as far down as his toes, and up into his throat. Consoling Aiedail in a hug was one thing, but this? It simply wasn't allowed, Colin decided, to be in such a proximity while holding a conversation with her. Clearing his throat he hoped would serve as a distraction, he slid his bottom just an inch away from her, then stretched out the arm opposite of her for good measure.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 16, 2007 12:59 AM (GMT)
Aiedail nodded, "Yes." She watched him, his eyes looking at her, demanding of an answer. She wouldn't lie, she couldn't. Not to Colin. She looked away, and down at her pulled up knees, and her arms wrapped tightly around her midriff.
"Not- Not exactly. No." She said this softly, hoping he wouldn't even hear her response. She thought of the tiny hous elves when Colin mentioned them. Making meals all day long and then cleaning up the entire castle. She didn't look up from her lap, and didn't notice Colin edge away.
She thought about the torture of the first day without any food. Her stomach had almost killed her alone with it's retortion. On top of that she had to walk to classes with an injured foot, while trying to keep it concealed from teachers and other students. The second day, had been harder at first, but then easier because she knew if she ate or drank anything that she would be sick. She stayed in the dormitory for most of the remaining day to keep off her injury, but with the party that night, it had been dificult to get away from eyes. So she had to walk with normality, which is why she had limped invoulentarily.
Colin Driscol - August 16, 2007 01:47 AM (GMT)
"'Not exactly no'?" Colin repeated, his brow fiercely furrowing they threatened to disappear into his eyes.
He sighed, and nervously rubbed his knees, quite unsure how to proceed. After a moment he sighed again, and looked at her. His expression had softened up a bit but his tone was still quite serious.
"You've got to eat, Aiedail, it's as simple as that. Have you not had anything to eat since...." he paused, not wanting to mention the phrase 'break-up, then went on, "...for the last three days?"
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 17, 2007 12:03 AM (GMT)
Aiedail still could not bring herself to look at Colin and remained looing at her lap. She knew she'd have to eat eventually, but still the thought of food and drink made her feel nauseous. She knew if she ate or drank anything she would surely throw-up, she wasn't looking forward to that part of it.
When Colin asked his question she replied, still talking in a low, almost inaudible voice. "No, not for three days..."
Colin Driscol - August 17, 2007 12:21 AM (GMT)
"Not good Aiedail, not good at all," Colin said quietly, frowning with a definite disappointment, rather than his usual pensive frown or annoyed scowl. He fidgited where he sat for a moment, feeling a whole new sort of fear for his friend.
"You're eating tonight, okay?" he said, slicing one hand through the air a little, denoting a sense of finality. The way he spoke and used his hands to talk made him resemble his father a little.
"Before you go to bed...just something small, a piece of bread. Have you at least been drinking water?"
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 17, 2007 12:37 AM (GMT)
Aiedail heard the disappointment within his voice, and felt all the more ashamed of herself. She took a deep breath, steadying herself and preparing herself to look up at Colin. That in itself took a lot to do, she didn't want to see his expression now that she had told him that.
She glaned at Colin when he told her to eat, a frown on her face. "If I eat anything, Colin, I'll be sick. Just talking about it makes me feel disgusted and nauseous..."
|"Before you go to bed...just something small, a piece of bread. Have you at least been drinking water?" |
Aiedail reached up and touched her cheeks, they felt a bit hallow and knew she was probably a little paler then she had been three days ago. "No..." with the answer another tear slipped from her eye.
Colin Driscol - August 17, 2007 12:52 AM (GMT)
"Okay, okay," Colin said, putting up his hands, "don't cry just--please, don't cry Aiedail...."
He gave a heavy sigh, quite frustrated with himself for upsetting her yet again. She was certainly in quite the fragile state, physically and emotionally, and Colin wasn't entirely sure what to do.
"We'll work on the eating thing, only...don't cry...I...it's...."
The sight of tears in your eyes hurts me deeper than you know.
I'd give my right arm to keep all the pain out of your life.
When you cry, my heart cries.
Any of those statements would have summed up Colin's feelings quite nicely, but he himself couldn't think of anything close to any of that to actually say to her.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his voice a bit strained. "And NO, don't you go apologizing after I do, because you've done nothing to me to apologize for," he said in a husky voice, though it was merely an attempt to hide the emotion in his tone. Frustrated, overcome with strange feelings he'd never dealt with before, and quite confused on top of it all, he ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair---something he rarely did but for when he was at a loss.
"I-I-" he stammered, trying to land on a logical statement. Why? Why would Aiedail deny herself food, why would she let some git of a boy have this much affect on her, why would she punish herself so much for a stupid mistake he made? Colin tried to wrap his mind around the concept of it, but not wanting to upset her again, he kept quiet for the moment, trying still to think of a safe way to phrase his questions.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 17, 2007 01:13 AM (GMT)
Aiedail wiped the tears from her eyes and bit her lip again to keep a sob from escaping. Frustration seeped into her as Colin's emotions swelled, making her frown more knowing this. She tried to push his emotions aside, her's and his together would not be good for her.
Aiedail was indeed about to apologise, her mouth was open to say it, when he told her not to. She was at a loss of words as silence came between them. She looked up at him as he stuttered. She'd never heard him stutter before now, Colin had normally always known what to say. But right now she didn't care, he was the one with her. He was the one trying to help her, he always had been.
Colin Driscol - August 17, 2007 02:30 AM (GMT)
Colin sighed yet again, though it carried this time an air of gentle patience, not frustration or helplessness.
"I don't mean to make you cry, you know," he said in a low, quiet voice. He looked at her, shame-faced, yet for a moment he gave a flicker of a half-smile before his expression fell again. There was a good deal of more silence before he continued.
"It's only...I'm worried about you Aiedail, dreadfully worried. I don't want you to get all worked up about that, it's simply the truth." Colin's dark eyes stirred into a soft blush color, though his anger with John had been momentarily been put on the back burner.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 17, 2007 08:49 PM (GMT)
Aiedail nodded, "I know, and I don't want you to be so upset. You're not making me cry." She added shaking her head in emphasis. "I'm upset with myself, and- I don't know..." Faintly, a smile wavered across her face before disappearing, quite quickly, again.
The silence settled over them once more, in which Aiedail sulked in her anger and disgust with herself. She couldn't understand how she had let herself be so foolish. How she could let her emotions slip so blindly, and so badly.
She listened to Colin as he began speaking again, her thoughts still rolling in the back of her head, on a run away train with all the track in the world to follow. Aiedail nodded for what felt like the one-hundredth time. "I know you were, Colin. And I'm angy and disgusted with myself for letting this get so far. I shouldn't have let myself..."
Colin Driscol - August 22, 2007 07:22 PM (GMT)
"Stop blaming yourself!" Colin said, exasperated, yet his expression still kind. He sighed, stared at his knees for a moment, and scratched the back of his head, trying to think.
"I--just---I don't know what to do to help you," he mumbled in a defeated tone, shrugging.
"I can talk to a nurse, or something, see if...I mean with your eating...if you'll only get sick..." He sighed, leaving his eyes planted on his knees.
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 23, 2007 01:48 AM (GMT)
Aiedail stopped blaming herself outwardly, but inside she was still ranting. The moonlight sifted in through the holed out windows for the owls to leave and return. She stared up at the silver shafts of light dancing in.
"I'm not going to the infirmary. I can't stand that place..." she said more to herself than him. "I can...try to- to eat tomorrow..." she said hesitantly. She wouldn't eat it in the Great Hall or in the castle though. She'd bring it outside away from everyone. She didn't want to get sick in front of everyone.
Colin Driscol - August 27, 2007 09:09 PM (GMT)
"Okay. Let me know when and where, and I'll be there," Colin replied with a sense of finality. He stared at her with his cold dark eyes, as though telling her there was no point in arguing.
"I'm not going to let this one alone, Aiedail."
Aiedail Lenwe' - August 27, 2007 09:30 PM (GMT)
Colin stated his first sentance in a way Aiedail knew not to argue with. His statement pulled her stare away from the shafts of glittering light, and into his face and dark eyes. Aiedail listened as his put in another statement, with a tone of 'end-of-conversation' and 'no-room-for-arguing,' dripping all over it.
Her gaze was steady in his, and she bit her lip again. She thought for a moment.
"Lunch? The courtyard?" Aiedail said, she'd have very well have put it off until dinner, but she didn't want to try Colin's patience again.
Colin Driscol - August 27, 2007 09:42 PM (GMT)
"Alright," Colin said, with a single nod, glad she didn't try to protest. The chill in his gaze faded a bit, but his tone was still quite serious.
"Lunch in the courtyard it is." There. Now what? He folded his arms and furrowed his brow, quite unsure where to take the conversation from there. He'd love to attempt to make her eat now, but he doubted she would agree. Colin of all people was quite familiar with stubbornness.