Title: On My Own
Description: CarSam (COMPLETE)
Laina - October 14, 2010 04:38 PM (GMT)
Fandom: General Hospital
Title: On My Own
Characters: Carly Benson, Lucky Spencer, Jason Morgan, Nikolas Cassadine and Sam McCall
Pairing: CarSam (Carly/Sam)
Rating/Warnings: Rated R. Mild to Strong Language, Femslash, and OOC.
Summary: When Carly and Sam break up, how do they both take it?
A/N: Thanks as usual to Judy for betaing and to all of you that read this.
Disclaimer: I don’t own General Hospital, the settings or characters. I only own this story.
As Carly Benson unlocked the door and then walked into her cold apartment it was almost more than she could take.
She and her girlfriend of seven years, Sam McCall, had just broken up because the two of them wanted different things.
Sam wanted to be a mother and have a family while Carly knew that she wasn’t anywhere near ready to settle down yet.
So the two of them had had a talk yesterday and since they couldn’t come to an agreement, both of them figured that the best thing to do would be to break up.
So here they were. Carly had just come from Sam’s apartment as she picked up the last of her belongings and brought it back to her own place.
Setting down a box filled with her favorite books, CD’s, movies, and presents that she had given Sam, Carly sighed sadly.
The sadness she had seen in Sam’s eyes made her want to go back and give in. It made her want to tell Sam that everything would be okay; that she was fine with starting a family even though it would be a lie.
But as she looked at a picture of herself and Sam on the wall, which was taken last year for Sam’s birthday in the Metro Court ballroom, Carly knew that they were doing the right thing.
Sam deserved to find someone who could be all that she needed and could give her everything that she needed.
Carly knew that she wasn’t the person to do that. She was still trying to figure herself out and decide what she wanted out of life.
It didn’t help that everywhere she turned, there were reminders of Sam or her relationship with Sam in every room of her apartment.
Deciding that she needed to get a grip, Carly began taking down all the pictures of Sam and of herself and Sam and began to box up anything of Sam’s that she could find in the apartment.
The first step to moving on with her life was to get rid of every reminder of Sam, no matter how painful it was.
Maybe in time they could try to be friends but Carly knew herself. She knew that if there was anything left of Sam’s laying around, it could make her break down and give in and that wouldn’t be fair to either of them, to make both of them suffer by living a lie.
An hour later after she finished cleaning the living room and had boxed up everything of Sam’s that she could find, Carly decided to take a break.
Tossing the box of Sam’s things into a corner, Carly picked up her cell phone and dialed a number that she hadn’t called in ages.
When he answered a moment later, a sad smile crossed her features and she said, “Lucky, it’s Carly. I wanted to know if you have time to meet me for lunch at the Metro Court. I know that we don’t spend much time together, but I think it’s time we changed that.”
When Lucky agreed to meet her at the Metro Court, Carly thanked him, hung up and went to get ready to leave.
Fifteen minutes later as she slipped on a red dress and heels to match, she grabbed her matching purse and keys and headed out of her apartment, locking the door behind her.
The drive to the Metro Court was short and when Carly pulled into a parking space it was to see Lucky’s police cruiser already parked two spaces away.
Smiling gently, Carly fixed her hair and dress and then exited the car, locking it behind her before she entered the Metro Court.
Scanning the room, it only took a few moments before she spotted her cousin sitting in a corner booth waiting for her.
Taking a seat next to her cousin, Carly smiled gently and then said, “I’m glad you decided to meet with me. I’ve been worried about you since your divorce. This is your third divorce. The first two times with Emily I understood because she was perfect for you, but the thing you had with PC Slut, I never could understand...”
Laina - October 14, 2010 04:39 PM (GMT)
Sam McCall hated the silence that filled her apartment now that Carly was gone. They had been together for seven years and after all this time she decided it was time to talk to Carly about having a family.
So she had been honest in what she wanted; a child for the two of them to raise, to marry Carly and to live together for the rest of their lives as a family, but apparently Carly didn’t want the same thing.
Carly had told her that she wasn’t ready to settle down and get married and she knew that she wasn’t ready to be a parent to a child.
So Sam knew that she was going to have to go at it alone. She was going to talk to Jason, her and Carly’s best friend and see if he would help her to have a baby.
He was the one she and Carly went to when they felt like they couldn’t talk to each other or even go to their families.
Jason was the one person who understood her and Carly perfectly. As a matter of fact, he was the one who had gotten them together.
Sam and Carly had been introduced by Jason and he had set up their first date at the Metro Court back before Carly owned it.
To this day Jason was the only other person Sam trusted completely, the first person being Carly. Even though they had broken up, Sam knew that if something ever happened she could always go to Carly.
She got dressed for the day, slipping on a pair of jeans, a brown v-neck shirt and after slipping on her shoes she locked the door to her apartment and headed out to Wyndemere to meet Jason and Nikolas.
Sam knew that her cousin was going to have a lot to say when she and Jason arrived and part of her wondered what it would be.
She hoped he wouldn’t reject the idea immediately when she brought up having a baby with Jason.
Sam knew that Nikolas knew she wanted to start a family and she hoped that he wouldn’t make too big of a deal when she asked Jason to father her baby.
A little later she and Jason arrived at Wyndemere. After getting off the launch, the two of them walked up the stairs toward the door and Sam smiled when Nikolas greeted them at the door instead of Alfred.
“What’s going on, Sam? You sounded serious on the phone. Are you okay? What’s going on with you and Carly?”
Sam smiled sadly for a moment and then said, “I think this is a conversation that would be better had inside. Just to be safe, you know.”
Nikolas nodded and then he stepped back, opened the door and motioned Sam and Jason inside Wyndemere.
A few minutes later the three of them were sitting in Nikolas’s living room and Sam sighed softly and began to speak.
“I wanted to tell both of you what’s going before you hear a set of lies from someone else, so here it is. Carly and I broke up. I told her that I wanted to have a baby, a family and Carly was honest and told me she wasn’t ready to settle down yet. The main reason I wanted to talk to both of you at once is because I wanted to ask a favor from you, Jason,” Sam said and when he paused she explained.
“I want you to be the father of my child. You’re my best friend besides Carly and the only person I could see myself having a baby with. You don’t have to answer right away. I know that you’ll need some time to think it through, but I want you to know that if you agree, you’ll always have your rights to the baby, if we do this.”
Jason and Nikolas were both stunned into silence for a moment and then before Nikolas could say anything, Jason said, “Would we have to…?”
Sam laughed at the startled look on Jason and Nikolas’s faces and then she shook her head and began to explain the process of artificial insemination to them…
Laina - October 14, 2010 04:42 PM (GMT)
Four hours later found Carly walking along the docks after spending time with Lucky. Her cousin was a great guy, a little too nice for his own good but a great guy, nonetheless.
She never understood what he saw in PC Slut, though as a lesbian you would think that she had or that she would have at least been attracted to PC Slut, but no.
The woman annoyed her to no end when she walked around town acting like she was innocent when she was just another whore.
“At least Sam and I admit that we like to sleep around. Or at least we used to like sleeping around. Now though…” Carly let her sentence trail off not wanting to think about her ex at the moment.
However, as she stared out across the water Sam’s voice came from behind her, making Carly flinch and turn to face her ex.
As the two women stared at each other, Carly noticed that Sam looked excited and she was instantly jealous of whoever had made the woman she loved look so happy.
"What’s going on?” Carly asked as she took a seat on the bench and then waited to see if Sam was going to join her or not.
Sam took a moment to gather her thoughts and she started to explain. “I spoke to Jason and Nikolas today. I wanted both of them to know that I want to have a family.”
Carly nodded and she waited for Sam to continue. She didn’t have to wait very long before Sam began to talk again.
“So I picked up Jason and the two of us went to Wyndemere to see Nikolas and I asked Jason if he would be the father of my baby.”
Carly almost didn’t want to hear the rest but one look at the pure joy and love on Sam’s face and she knew that she needed to hear the rest.
“I explained to Jason and Nikolas the process of artificial insemination and then I told Jason to take a few days to think about it and then get back to me. For some reason I just have the feeling that he’s going to say yes.”
Carly was both happy and sad upon hearing this news. She was happy that Sam was going to get the baby she desperately wanted, but she was also sad because this truly meant they would never get back together.
She had been honest with Sam when they had talked. Carly wasn’t ready to be a parent and wasn’t sure if she would want to be one in a few years.
But now, hearing that Sam was going to have Jason’s child, it made her ache for something she knew they could and would never have.
“Congratulations,” Carly said and she had to force the words past her lips. Seeing Sam so happy made her wish that they could get back together.
But then as she looked at Sam and how much the woman wanted to have a baby, Carly knew she could never take that away from her ex.
“Thanks,” Sam said and she gently rested a hand on Carly’s arm. “I just want to ask you something. I know you don’t like kids very much and even though we aren’t together anymore, I was wondering if you would be the baby’s aunt.”
Carly swallowed against the immediate protest that wanted to leave her mouth and she took a moment to gather her thoughts together.
Forcing a smile onto her lips, Carly nodded and said, “Of course I will, Sam. You and Jason are going to make great parents. Both of you have always wanted to have children.”
Before Carly said something that she knew she would regret, she got to her feet once more and said to Sam, “I hope this works out for you and you get the family you want.”
Moments later she left, leaving Sam standing on the docks wondering if things were ever going to be the same again.
As she stood there, Sam wondered if she and Carly were going to be able to be around each other for more than five minutes ever again.
Laina - October 14, 2010 04:44 PM (GMT)
Two days later after, finishing her breakfast, Sam was washing the dishes when the phone rang.
She wiped her hands dry with a towel before she walked over to the phone and answered it. “Hello,” Sam said and was surprised when she heard Jason’s voice on the other end of the line.
“Can I come over to your apartment, Sam? I want to talk to you a little more about what you asked me a few days ago.”
Sam smiled gently and then said, “Of course you can come over. Any questions or concerns you have, I don’t mind talking about them.”
Jason cleared his throat and then said, “Good, I’ll be over at your place in about ten minutes.”
When they hung up a few minutes later, Sam sighed softly and finished washing and drying the last of the dishes before heading to the living room to wait for Jason.
Ten minutes passed and then there was a knock on the door. Getting up from the couch, Sam walked over to the door to unlock it and let Jason inside.
When Jason entered her apartment, Sam closed and locked the door once more before motioning for Jason to take a seat on the couch and then joining him.
“Now, what is it that you want to know about?” Sam asked as she got comfortable and waited for Jason to speak.
Jason took a moment to get his thoughts in order and then he began to speak. “We talked about artificial insemination and the process and all that, but I want to know is how are we going to do things while you’re pregnant and after the baby is born?”
A huge smile broke out across Sam’s face as she heard Jason agree to have this baby with her. The thought of having a baby with her best friend was almost enough to bring her to tears, but thankfully, she resisted.
Forcing her thoughts away for the moment, Sam thought about how to answer. Moments later she looked up and met Jason’s eyes and began to explain.
"As I said before, you can have as big of a role in this child’s life as you like. Or you can even have no role at all and I’d never hold it against you.”
Jason took in what Sam was saying and then he started to speak again. “I want us to do this, but before we do there are some things I’d like for us to agree on.”
Sam nodded and then she waited for Jason to continue speaking so that she could know about what he wanted.
“When you’re pregnant, I’d like for you to come and live with me. Now before you say anything, this would just be until the baby is born. This way I’d have Max and Milo with you when I had to go to work and I’d feel better about leaving you in their care instead of alone.”
Sam agreed, so she stayed silent and let Jason think about what else he wanted to say. Then she waited for him to continue.
“I do want shared custody as long as you’re comfortable with it. My job’s dangerous and can be scary to a woman and a child, so I just want you to think about it before you give me an answer. I also want you to move closer after the baby’s born. Right now you live across town from me and while I understand that you like your privacy you can still have that and live a few streets away. I just want us to live nearby each other in case anything should ever happen.”
Sam let Jason finish speaking and then she started to speak again. “I agree with everything you’ve so far asked; now I just have one more thing to ask you. When I’m pregnant and even after the baby’s born I don’t want you to smother me. It’s normal and okay for you to worry but I can’t take someone being constantly in my face. So as long as we can reach some sort of agreement later on about you not being my shadow, then we have a deal.”
Laina - October 14, 2010 04:45 PM (GMT)
A/N: I didn’t want to have to give a long drawn out explanation of the AI process so this chapter skips ahead to when Sam is six months pregnant.
Six months later
Carly had been staying away from Jason for as long as she could and it had been a long six months of staying away from her best friend. Now though, she realized that she couldn’t stay away from him any longer.
As she used her key to get into Jason’s penthouse, Carly was surprised to find the lights off and as she closed the door and stepped deeper into the room she saw a figure sleeping on the couch. Turning to switch on the lights, she froze when she heard Sam’s voice.
“Turn on the lights and I’ll break your damn arm.” Carly let out a sigh of relief when she recognized Sam’s voice. Walking over to her ex-girlfriend, she took a seat on a nearby chair and said softly, “Are you okay, Sam?”
Sam nodded, even though she knew Carly couldn’t see the motion in the dark and then she said, “I’m fine, I just have a headache and I’m not supposed to take any medication for at least another three months and it’s pissing me off.”
Carly nodded and she said, “What if I just turn the kitchen light on? It won’t be too bright in here; the two of us will just get a little of the brightness in here.”
When Sam didn’t reply, Carly imagined that she had nodded in agreement and she got up and walked into the kitchen to turn on the light before returning to the living room.
Upon re-entering the living room Carly froze in her tracks. The little bit of light from the kitchen was bright enough for her to see Sam lying down on the couch. The thing that threw her for a loop was how big Sam’s stomach was which said that she was a hell of a lot farther along in her pregnancy then Carly had thought she would be.
“Is he…Did you…?” Carly wanted to know if Sam and Jason slept together but she couldn’t get the words out. “Why would you…?” It took Sam a few minutes to realize what Carly was asking and when she did, Sam started to explain.
“Jason and I didn’t sleep together. I’m still a lesbian. I had told you that I was going to ask Jason to father this baby and I did.” Sam paused for a moment to take a few breaths to calm down and then she continued.
“We went through Artificial Insemination six months ago after I asked you to be the baby’s aunt. I still want us to be friends and I still want you to be this baby’s aunt but you’ve been out of our lives for six months and I don’t want to do that to a child, Carly.”
Carly met Sam’s eyes dead-on and after a few moments of silence between them, she spoke. “I’m sorry for hurting you and Jason, but I needed some time to wrap my head around this. The woman I love is having a baby with our best friend. It’s kind of freaking me out.”
Sam nodded and she took Carly’s hands into hers. “I understand if you have changed your mind about being an aunt to the baby. A baby can be scary for someone that’s never been around one.”
Carly shook her head before releasing Sam’s hands and gently pulling the shorter woman into a hug. “I haven’t changed my mind about being this baby’s aunt. I’m just afraid of losing you now that you and Jason are starting your own family.”
Sam pulled back and stared at her ex-girlfriend in surprise. “You’re never going to lose me, Carly. Even though our romantic relationship is over, our friendship is FAR from over and if you try to bail on me after this baby’s born, I’ll kick your ass.”
Both of them started laughing after Sam finished speaking and as they sat on the couch together they lapsed into a peaceful silence. It wasn’t long before there was the sound of a key in a lock and then the door swung open and Jason stood before them. He entered the penthouse and closed and locked the door before joining his two best friends on the couch.
Laina - October 14, 2010 04:45 PM (GMT)
Three months later…
The pain was excruciating; it felt like someone was trying to tear Sam apart as she screamed at the top of her lungs. She was in labor and had been in labor for over fourteen hours.
There were no doctors and they weren’t in a hospital. Instead of being in a hospital, she and Carly were stuck in Jason’s penthouse which was ablaze in flames.
They had been spending the afternoon together since Jason had gone into work early that morning and Sam hadn’t wanted to be alone so she had called Carly to come over.
A little while after Carly had come over, Max and Milo had left to go and get them some lunch on Carly’s orders, so that the two of them could be alone.
Not even fifteen minutes after both men had left, the apartment was under attack. Bullets were flying all over the place; and as Sam screamed in pain Carly dragged her into the kitchen where she suddenly gasped as she smelled smoke.
When Sam suddenly fell silent, Carly swung around to face the other woman who had tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Carly, the baby… Oh God!” Sam shouted as she clutched her stomach. She felt a wetness rolling down her legs and she let out a scream that could have broken the sound barrier as she saw blood rolling down her legs.
“The baby! Carly, please save my baby!” The smoke was getting thicker and as Carly tried to calm Sam down, there was a crash as the front door came off its hinges and both women gasped at the sound.
As the bullets continued to rain down on the penthouse and the fire continued to spread and worsen, Carly helped Sam through her labor.
While Sam was pushing and Carly was checking her progress, there was the sound of shouting and Carly recognized Jason’s voice and she knew that Max and Milo had gotten back and had called him to let him know that they were trapped inside.
There was the sound of more gunfire and then suddenly cries filled the air as Sam and Jason’s baby was finally born. Carly held the baby and got up to get a towel to wrap the baby in.
When she found one a few minutes later, Carly wrapped the baby girl in the towel and headed back over to Sam. She quickly helped clean Sam up and she handed the baby to her mother.
“Sam,” Carly said gently to get her ex’s attention. When Sam looked up and met her eyes Carly said, “I’m going to go and help Jason and I’m going to call the fire department to stop the fire. You stay here and don’t move until Jason or I come to get you.”
When Sam nodded, Carly pulled her gun out of her purse, tossing the purse onto the ground as she coughed and exited the kitchen.
Re-entering the living room Carly called out, “Jason, where are you?” When she got no vocal reply, only the sound of more gunfire, she immediately began shooting as well.
Before long the sound of sirens filled the air and as she snuck out the front door and into the hallway, Carly heard the sound of a shot go off and she froze when she heard Jason cry out in pain.
Moments later she sprung into action, immediately shooting anyone and everyone in sight. There was the sound of something falling and Carly saw that it was a person and as they fell to the ground, she knew at once that it was Jason and that he was dead.
“NO…” The scream ripped out of her throat and left her mouth before she could stop it. Moments later she wasn’t surprised to feel a bullet pierce her but she was surprised when she realized that it was in her chest.
Carly fell to the ground and as she took her last breath the last thing she would ever get to say was: “I’m sorry, Sam.”
Two days later
Sam stood in the back of the graveyard away from the grieving families, unable to handle their grief as well as her own. She couldn’t believe that the two most important people in her life next to her daughter were dead.
They had both died for her and Caroline and Sam would never forget that. As she held onto her daughter who she had named Caroline Maria Morgan after Carly and Jason, Sam tried to stay out of sight, knowing she was caught when Lucky and Nikolas walked up to her and offered their condolences.
“Thank you, both of you,” Sam said softly as the two brothers tried to comfort her. The three of them remained in the back for the rest of the ceremony and as Jason and Carly were buried.
When the service was over, Lucky invited Nikolas, Sam and Caroline back to his house to spend the afternoon.
When Nikolas and Sam agreed, they all got into Lucky’s car and headed for his house. When they arrived, they exited the car and Lucky locked it before heading to unlock the front door of the house.
He motioned Sam and Nikolas inside before entering himself. The three of them all went into the living room and took a seat together on the couch.
Unable to keep the question to himself any longer Lucky asked, “What are you doing to do? I mean, since Jason and Carly are…” He trailed off, not wanting to say the words, because that would make it all too real.
“Since they’re dead?” Sam finished for Lucky and when he nodded, she shrugged for a moment and then spoke again. “I’ll do what I have to do. I’ll raise my daughter on my own and tell her how much her father and aunt Carly loved her. It’s all that I can do.”
When Sam fell silent, Lucky gently took her free hand into his, being careful not to upset her other arm which was holding Caroline.
“You won’t be on your own, Sam. Nikolas and I are here for you and we will help you take care of Caroline for as long as you need us.”
When Nikolas nodded in agreement, Sam smiled at her cousin and then turned back to Lucky. “Thank you; I don’t know how I would get through losing both Jason and Carly without you guys.”
When a tear fell down Sam’s cheek, both Lucky and Nikolas hugged Sam and Caroline gently, letting Sam know that they would always be there for them.