walk in the sun., tag: bella =]

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

It was amazing. Bella had never, ever thought that she’d be kissing Edward Flint. Ever. But there she was, standing with her arms around him, his arms around her, just after having the best kiss of her life. Despite the fact that she had felt that she had needed to break the kiss, she felt a bit bereft then, and realized that she wanted to kiss him again. She didn’t, though. She wasn’t sure how he’d react, and she didn’t want to chance it. She wondered what he was going to say to her. Did he regret kissing her? Did he want to kiss her again? She wished she knew the answers. It would make things a whole lot easier.

The small smile that had been resting on Bella’s lips evaporated at his response to her innocently asked question. What did he mean, ‘wouldn’t you like to know’? She frowned a little, but other than that she didn’t let her hurt show. It had been wonderful, amazing, beautiful, and here he was, pretty much saying that it was nothing. Great. What had she been thinking? She was so stupid. There was no way he liked her. She sighed a little and smiled again, putting on a good fake smile. She untangled her arms from around his neck and took a step back from him, releasing him completely. “Nah, doesn’t matter.” Hell yeah, it mattered! She wanted to know why he kissed her. It was probably just a ‘caught in the moment’ type thing – she had shared something painful with him, he had shared something painful with her, they were being sentimental, and he kissed her. Nothing more to it. She looked down at her feet and something caught her eye. She leaned down and picked up the daffodil – that she hadn’t realized she dropped – and lifted it up to her face again, brushing it across her lips. She gave him another forced smile before turning and walking down the path again.

[Edward Parker Flint]

He watched her reaction and then her release him ad she let go of her as well although he didn't want to. He was confused. What did she want him to say? Did she want him to express feeling or give a direct answer of it was nothing? Why did girls have to be so confusing at times. He knew he did something wrong though when her smile faded. Although hearing her say that their kiss was nothing hurt a bit but he pretended like he didn't feel anything. He did regret kissing her now but not because he didn't like her. He regretted it because rejection hurt. He watched her walk away and forced a smile back on his face before catching up with her.

He watched her for a moment, focusing on the flower that kept playing around her lips and he felt defeated. He had no idea what to say anymore and for the first time in his life, he felt awkward around Bella. He looked away from her and just kept walking. Part of him wished that this entire time they had gotten into some argument. And argument would have been much less likely to lead to a kiss and they were good at arguing. What made them venture into unfamiliar territory only to end up completely lost? He even found himself trying to think of something that would start up an argument but nothing really came to mind anymore. There was too much other things in his mind at the moment. Maybe he shouldn't have told her so much. Maybe she didn't like his past and that was the reason why she didn't think the kiss meant anything. Who would want to be with a person like him anyway? Maybe this was for the best, he figured. He couldn't hurt her if she never bothered to get close to him.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Isabella was having second thoughts. Why had she kissed him? What’s more, why had she let him kiss her? She’d really enjoyed it, but she shouldn’t have let it happen. She should have known something like this would happen because of it. She felt like such a fool, though. Did he think she was some kind of slut now? Did he think she was easy because she had kissed him even though ‘it didn’t matter’? She was so embarrassed now! But she couldn’t let it show. She let out a small breath, getting a hold of herself. She couldn’t let him know how much he had hurt her by dismissing that kiss.

It was awkward now. It had been pleasant and easy-going when they had first arrived at the park. Now it was just awkward and she didn’t know what to say, and she could tell that he didn’t, either. She sniffed the flower a little again before tucking it behind her ear absently. She hated the awkward silent more than anything. She looked up at the sky, which was very dark, with a few stars twinkling here and there. It wasn’t until then that she realized that she was getting a little chilly. She rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm herself up. She sighed. “Its… getting kind of late. I should be getting you back soon.” She wanted to spend more time with him, but not like this – this awkwardness was too much for her.

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward walked along fully believing that she was perfectly fine and hadn't thought anything of that kiss which came off as odd to him. He was the guy. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to not care she was was supposed to be sensitive? Maybe Fallen Stars was really starting to get to him. Well, maybe not. He felt extremely angry. He was angry at his father for giving him a story that would lead to their kiss. He was angry at her father for ever hurting her. He was angry with her for not caring about him the way he cared about her. And, possibly most of all, he was angry at himself. He was angry for not being charming enough, apparently, for her to like him back. Angry for hurting people. Angry that he was naive enough to think that she could possibly like her. Fallen Stars was simply making everything worse. Seeing those idiotic doctors and plan walls just increased his angry exponentially.

His eyes flickered toward her when she suggested that he go back to Fallen Stars and he wanted to do anything but that. He knew when he got back there he would be forced to seem happy and not angry at all when he felt like he was going to explode of it. The entire center was completely pointless and for the first time ever, he really challenged it. "No. Bella, please don't make me go back there," he said seriously something new in his tone that wasn't there before. He sounded a bit angry. But really, Fallen Stars was the last place he wanted to go. Not only would he get nothing done that he needed to get done but also he would just see Bella again and he didn't want to see her again after tonight. He just wanted to get away from everyone associated with the centre in any way, shape, or form.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

She wondered what he was thinking. Was he upset? Isabella had seen him before when he was upset, and she didn’t like seeing him that way. And she didn’t want his anger to be directed at her. But what could she do? He was the one who had first insinuated that their wonderful – and thought to be meaningful – kiss meant nothing, really. She was just following him, as she didn’t want him to think she thought more of it when he didn’t – she didn’t want to look like more of a fool that she felt. She wondered what he would say or do if she told him she liked him. She wouldn’t, of course, as she didn’t want to have to face his rejection – because she knew that’s what would happen.

At his words she stopped walking and turned to face him, a small frown turning her full lips down. There was something in his voice that caught her attention. It made her want to go to him and wrap her arms around him, tell him she wouldn’t make him go back. But of course, she had been rejected once already, so she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand it a second time. She watched him closely for a moment, silent. She sighed a little, wetting her lips lightly with the tip of her tongue. “Edward, I can’t… I can’t keep you out forever.” She sighed again and began walking, hugging herself to try to stay warmer. After a moment of silence on her part, she said. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to stay out a little longer, if you wanted.” She spoke softly, almost a murmur. She wasn’t sure why she was doing this. She just wanted nothing more than to take him back and leave him there. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to look at him again after this evening.

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward watched her intently as he waited for her reply, staring her down to see if that would help him get his way. When she attempted to compromise that just made the entire situation worse for him. He didn't want to spend time with her anymore, he just wanted to be left alone by everyone. Couldn't she see that? Couldn't she off all people just try to understand? Apparently not, so he seemed. He bit his lip lightly, trying to calm himself down by counting to ten but of course that didn't work. What would counting to ten do? It just wasted time. Another thing that so called doctors suggested. How could they be to thick?

He then opened his mouth to speak, trying to find words but ended out blurting the thoughts that were in his head because, even though he didn't want to, he still trusted her and liked her. "That's not what I mean. Going back to Fallen Stars will do nothing. The doctors are mostly idiotic and they aren't doing a fucking thing to help me. Besides, I need to go back home. Who is going to look out for my mum or my sisters. No one. That's who. Just just say that you lost track of me. Say I threatened to hurt you. I don't' give a damn what the hell you say but make up an excuse for me. Please, Bella," He ended up ranting to her but he didn't care. She didn't like him and never would so what was the point of trying to impress her and not curse around her now? Doing those things would just lead to more failure and let downs which was the last thing he needed. He was so fed up with his life at the moment he didn't want rules to follow anymore. He just wanted to get done what had to happen. That was all.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Bella had started walking, but she stopped abruptly when she noticed that Edward wasn’t following her. She turned to face him. He looked angry. Oh, dear. She really didn’t want him to be angry. When he started speaking, she took a step back; there was such vehemence in his words that she was rather startled, although she kept her expression neutral. She did frown a little, however. Even after all this time, she never really realized that he felt that way. It was stupid of her not to realize it, as he seemed so passionate about it. She just figured she should have noticed all this before. She felt like fool for not doing.

At his pleading, Bella just stared at him, her eyes slightly wide, her expression that of slight shock. Was he serious? How could she just let him run off? Not only would she get in major, major trouble for ‘losing’ him, there was a large chance that they’d be able to track him down. If he got away in time, that is. She wasn’t really sure how efficient Fallen Stars was when it came to things like that – she didn’t even know if anyone had ever even attempted to run away from the center before. It didn’t matter. She pulled her thoughts back to the present. She sighed a little and looked down, not really sure what to say. She felt like she was going to cry. Why? She didn’t really feel all that sad. She reached up and rubbed at her eyes a little, not caring about the little bit of makeup that she had on. That was when she made her decision. Without looking at him again, she turned around, giving him a view of her back.

She rubbed her arms, both for warmth and for comfort. After a long, silent, awkward moment, she murmured, “You should go now, while my back is turned.” She couldn’t believe she was doing this. “If you really want to leave so bad, I can’t stop you, I don’t guess.” She wasn’t sure what he was going to do about everything he owned – if he wanted to get away, there was no way he’d be able to go back to the center to get his things; which meant he’d be going without them if he had any hope of really getting away in time. She felt a single tear fall from her lower lid, and she quickly brushed it away. She didn’t want him to leave the center; she didn’t want him to leave her. But she couldn’t keep him there. She just wanted him to be happy, and she knew that could never happen while he was at the center. “Just try to stay out of trouble.”

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward watched her face and and tried to detect emotion At first there was nothing but then it looked like she was about to cry. He felt immensely awful, figuring he had probably frightened her or something to that effect. He felt like apologizing but he knew that would get him no where. It was better if he left now anyway. He had already hurt her more than he wanted to just by raising his voice at her and getting angry around her. He was so frightened that he'd hurt her more. He had no faith that he could raise about his anger, even for someone he had feelings for like Bella.

He watched her turn around and speak and he stared at the back of her head. His answer surprised him somewhat yet at the same time it didn't. He then realized something. He would probably never see her again. No matter how many times he told himself that things were better off that way he couldn't bring himself to accept it. Not yet, anyway. He was unsure of what to do. He knew that he should just leave right then and there although there was something he knew he had to do first. It wouldn't see her again, he was convinced at the moment. It's not like he'd have to face more awkward situations or rejection.

Slowly he walked up behind her and carefully slipped his arms around her as though she was fragile. He was unsure of what to do exactly. He realized how good her hair smelled. She didn't leave time for her to react, however, before he said softly into her ear. "Thank you Bella." He paused for a moment and sighed softly. "For everything," he added before swiftly letting go of her and walking down he path, away from her. He had to force himself not to look back but really he was thankful for a lot. She was a good friend when others weren't. She kept him sane all of that time at the rehab. See was always kind. And now she was risking a lot by letting him go. She was truly, in his eyes, an amazing person.