awkward much?, tag: bellalove

[Edward Parker Flint]

A distant chatter surrounded them as they fell into the back of the line to get a seat at Crown Candy. Edward was about to speak just when a waitress asked if there was a party of two. Luckily for the couple, they were the only one They walked to their seat, the booth near the back although the smallness forced Edward to sit across from her. He had wanted to sit next to her but he supposed this would have to do. He looked over at her and had no idea what to say. He never seemed to know what to say to her now that they were in a relationship. Edward had no idea what to say and what not to say to him. The whole concept of even being in a relationship was still terrifying for him even though this was their one week anniversary.

To cover up his lack of words he took one of the menus and pretended to look all though he knew exactly what he was getting. He always got the same thing when he came here. A BLT and a chocolate malt. He found himself board fairly quickly with that and looked up his eyes wondering around the room that was decorated as though they were in the 50's and focused on a talkative group and wished that he knew what to say. He wished he had been on a few more dates before, just so he could know what to say right now when he was actaully with someone he really cared about. "I think I'm getting a BLT," he announced after a moment. How was it so easy to get a girl to bed yet so hard to find something to talk about at a restaurant. The entire concept was not fair at all. He needed help. Badly.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Bella found that, despite Edward’s inability to function correctly in a real relationship, she was enjoying their time together so much more than she had enjoyed being with her ex-boyfriend. Edward actually acted like he really liked her, unlike her ex – he hadn’t ever really treated her well. After a week of being with Edward, Isabella realized he really didn’t know much of anything when it came to relationships – hence the previous term ‘relationship-retarded.’ All that aside, Bella still very much enjoyed being in Edward’s company, and she liked to think, despite the fact that he never knew what to say, that he liked spending time with her, too.

Once they were settled into the restaurant seats, Bella searched the menu for something she might want. When he announced what he could be getting, she smiled a little, scanning the menu a moment longer. She nodded a little. “I think I’ll get the same thing.” She liked BLTs, and she didn’t want to bother trying to decide on something else, when it all looked pretty good. She closed the menu and sat it down in front of her, waiting for the waitress to come back over to take their order. She looked across the table at Edward and smiled a little. She knew he was kind of uncomfortable. After a moment she murmured, “You know, I wouldn’t force you to go out with me, love.” She smiled sweetly, reaching for his hand, lifting it up to touch her lips to the back of it. “If you’d rather not, then we can leave.” She didn’t want to make him do this if he’d really rather not. She figured that maybe they could just take it one step at a time.

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward nodded when she agreed and had no idea it was so obvious that he was uncomfortable, trying to make himself to perfect for he thought about everything so much he was no longer really being himself. He wanted to be the perfect boyfriend for her and, in his eyes, he wasn't. He wasn't a perfect boyfriend for anyone if you really asked him and, for some odd reason, he could not possibly lie about it. He had been on a couple dates before but the same thing happened and with all of his other worries he just gave up. Now he was with Bella, someone he cared about more than he ever thought he could possibly care about and he was extremely stressed out about it.

He looked up at her when she spoke and her words took the smile right off his face. Did he make it seem like he didn't want to be in relationship. "Bella, I really want this," he told her sincerely, being the type of guy to mean what he says. He paused for a moment, squeezing her hand lightly and then gave her a bit of a crooked smile. "It's obvious I have no idea what I'm doing. Isn't it? he asked, sounding a bit amused that he was that bad at pretending he knew how to function in a relationship properly. He did want to know, however. He wanted to be with her. She was beautiful but also had a great personality. It was hard to find girls like that. It was hard for Edward, anyway. He did not want to stop going out with her. He really, really liked her. He was even thinking maybe it was love but he was too afraid to admit that to himself let alone her.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Bella noticed that her words wiped the smile from his face. Oh, no. That couldn’t be a good thing. She hadn’t meant her words to have a negative effect on him – she was just trying to let him know that if going out on real dates made him too uncomfortable, then she really wouldn’t mind it if they didn’t go out on dates. She was sure they could work up to that eventually. She didn’t want to pressure him into anything. But she couldn’t deny that she loved it that he wanted this. With her. He even said he really wanted this. That made her immensely happy. She couldn’t help but smile.

At his question, Bella laughed, simply delighted to be there with him. She sighed a little. “Yes, unfortunately.” She lifted his hand to her mouth again, pressing a small kiss to the palm this time. “But its okay. I don’t mind if you are rather… inept with all this dating business.” She reached up to push some hair behind her ear. “I think I’ll still keep you around.” She smiled, resting her elbow on the table and placing her chin in her propped up hand. She really cared a lot about him, and she couldn’t imagine getting rid of him just because he wasn’t the greatest company on a date – but then again, Bella really did enjoy his company, so it didn’t really matter. Bella looked around the room then, trying to find a waitress so that they could order their food.

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward smiled bigger when she laughed, not going to be ashamed of his awkward nature or anything. He guessed he would just have to learn. Just like she was learning and getting better at other aspects of their relationship. And he did have an ego to withhold. Edward was not one to get overly sensitive while he wasn't completely closed off either. "Of course you'll keep me around," he told her, letting his ego show. "You know that you find it adorable that I'm like this," he added, smirking lightly at her. He idly wondered if she put the fact that he was so unexperienced with this side of a relationship yet so experienced with the more physical side. She didn't seem like it so maybe she didn't think about it if she had put two and two together. Or perhaps she felt honored that he was making an exception for her, or something.

As Edward tried to look for a waitress as well when he found someone else, holding her gaze for a moment. It was someone he slept with just a few days before he and Bella had gotten together. He couldn't put a name on her. He knew it started with a T but he couldn't place it. She didn't matter so he stopped thinking about it , looking away and not paying anymore attention to her. He assumed that she would do the same. Any normal, decent person would especially seeing he was obviously with another girl. He wasn't bothered by seeing her there. That was, until he looked up at Bella to seethe girl out of the corner of his eye.

He looked at her for a moment his gaze rather unwelcoming. The girl was beautiful, really. She wore a short skirt and a revealing shirt. Edward found her name. Taylor. The girl's name was Taylor. Just as Edward figured out this small mystery, she spoke. "Hey Edward! That night was amazing. We should do it again some-," just then the girl cut off, her gaze falling on Bella. "Oh. Sorry Edward," she added casually and quickly. Edward was absolutely furious, and that was probably an understatement. He couldn't find words at the moment he was just so angry. This girl was a complete idiot. A fit of rage was coming over him. How could she possibly do such a thing? The one time he is actually with someone he really cares about this happens. He had no idea what to do so he just sat there, not saying anything to try to fix it.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Isabella laughed a little, just happy to be there with him. She nodded. “Of course I do. I think its very adorable.” She grinned and laughed again. She hadn’t had that much fun on a date since… well, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever had that much fun on a date. She reached up to push some hair away from her face. She didn’t like thinking about why Edward was so experienced physically, but not with the dating stuff. Of course, she wasn’t completely naïve, and she knew of the things he’d done before they started going out, but she really didn’t like to think about him being with other girls – although she was quite thankful that he had the experience that he did.

Bella spotted a waitress across the room, and was actually about to call out to the young woman so that they could get some service, but then she heard a voice speak her boyfriend’s name. She turned her head around, her gaze settling on the pretty woman. She smiled a little, figuring it must be a friend of Edward’s. But then she heard those four words. That night was amazing. Bella knew what the girl was talking about. Why else would she say those words? And if that wasn’t enough, she was offering herself again. She wondered how the bitch had the gall to say those things with Bella sitting right there.

Her gaze – which was a very impressive glare – switched from the young woman to Edward. After a moment, her expression changed drastically, to that of a sweet, genuine-looking smile. She looked back to the woman. “Oh, it seems as though the two of you know each other.” She smiled, standing from the table. She turned to completely face the young woman. “Please, sit down and visit. I was just leaving anyway.” She looked once again to Edward, her fury clearly visible on her lovely face. Then she turned on her heel and bounced away furiously, exiting the building as fast as her legs would carry her.

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward couldn't bring himself to look at Bella for a moment. He stared down at the table. When Bella spoke he looked up at her and the look she gave him scared him. He had no idea she could look like that. For a moment he felt awful and he tried to call her back but it was too late just to do that. He quickly stood up, his heart racing. He looked furious. Just a moment ago he was joking and now his hands were balled into so tight of fist they were white. If you missed what had happened you you would have been able to swear that Edward had multiple personality disorder.

His lips thinned and he looked at Taylor. "You fucking idiot!" he yelled. "Are you blind? Did you enjoy ruing that? What is your fucking problem?" he added, raging.

"What's the big deal? I'm a better lay anyway,"

Edward wanted to hit her. He really did. Violence was never the answer his ass this girl was a complete idiot who may have ruined one of the few things he actually had going for him at the moment. His life actually seemed like it was alright when she was around him. "She wasn't just another fuck! She- I can't deal with you right now!" he bellowed back, not noticing that the entire restaurant was staring, mothers looked like they wanted to hurt him for teaching their children new words, and staff was slowly moving toward him, one holding a phone in their hands. He stormed out, running to find Bella. "Bella! he called after her, running to try to catch up. He hated himself right now. Although this was out of his control it was still his fault, in a way.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Isabella was so entirely furious, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to make it back to her place without getting lost first – she was so angry she couldn’t really pay attention to anything else. Who did that girl think she was? And who did Edward think he was? He’d used her. Totally. Completely. She’d heard his voice raised, coming from the restaurant, although she was too far from it to actually hear what he was saying. She could care less, however. It didn’t matter to her. She just needed to get home so that she could lock herself in and cry her eyes out for the next month or so. God, how could she have been such an idiot?

She heard him. Oh, why couldn’t he just leave her alone? It seemed to her that he’d caused enough turmoil for her for one lifetime. She couldn’t handle too much of this – she was afraid she might have a heart attack sometime soon. She shook her head a little when she heard him call her name. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him. She started walking just a little faster, determined to ignore him the whole way to her house – she didn’t really live that far from where they were; she could be there in a few more minutes, if she hurried. When she heard Edward approach, she scowled fiercely, although she didn’t turn to look at him. “Get away from me, Edward.” She crossed her arms underneath her breasts as she walked, she gesture defiant. “I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to look at you, I don’t want to be around you. Ever.” She was so angry, she was afraid she’d say things that she might maybe regret at a later date – although she wasn’t really sure if that was possible at that point in time.

[Edward Parker Flint]

He ran as fast as he could to catch up to her yet, although he did catch up with her quickly, it felt like it took ages to get to her. He just got her, there was no way he could loose her so quickly. Edward had no deal that he could feel this way about a girl leaving him. He thought that he was incapable of caring. His mind was clouded and he had no idea he was running into dangerous territory. He was feeling violent and he was walking right to someone he cared for. Wasn't this the main reason he did not date in the first place?

Still, Edward ran in front of her and placed his hands on her shoulders to try to get her to stop walking away from him. He looked down at her, realizing he had to act quickly before she tried to move. To say her words stung was an understatement. That really hurt him and he had no idea how to react. She seemed determined to never see him again. How did things change so quickly. "Bella, stop. Please. I'm sorry. That happened before we started dating. I swear," he pleaded. He saw men that acted like he was right now as pathetic. Couldn't they just move on. He saw himself as a bit pathetic but he didn't care. He could not have Bella leave. He couldn't allow it. She couldn't make him get out of her life. Her expression hurt him. He knew that he had hurt her and he felt awful for it. He wished he knew how to make everything better but he didn't. He had no idea.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Bella needed to get away. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could last before she broke down. And with Edward close to her, she didn’t want him to see how badly he hurt her – she figured it was just best to let him think that he just made her insanely furious. She really couldn’t believe that this had happened. Things had just been going so good for them, and now this had to happen. Why? Why? She wanted to scream and cry and just generally throw a huge fit, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. She didn’t want anyone else, most of all Edward, to know how horrible she felt inside.

And suddenly he was in front of her, and he was touching her, and she wanted to scream all over again. She noticed he spoke quickly – probably trying to get his side of the argument out before she had time to push him away. Alright. Fine. She’d listened. And then she was ready to argue back. She shrugged his hands off of her shoulders furiously. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better how?” She gave him a little shove to emphasize her point. “Does it matter when you were with her?” She was so furious, she wondered how she wasn’t keeling over from a heart attack yet. “You told me you really liked me, Edward. So why the hell would you fuck some other chick – or chicks, since I’m assuming you couldn’t stop at just one – when you liked me so much?” That’s what she just didn’t understand. She shook her head furiously. “Oh, fuck… Forget it!” She pushed passed him, hurrying to cross the street. She was almost home, just a bit further. She lived by herself so she knew the house would be empty when she got there – good. She needed to be alone. She realized then that she’d said ‘fuck’ two times in a matter of a minute. She very rarely swore – and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever said ‘the f-word.’ That just showed how completely upset she was.

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward was shocked when she actually shoved him aside. She was being more violent than he was. He actually found himself wanting to shove her right back. People don't just get away with shoving him. That's not how his world worked yet he stopped, took a deep breath, and was able to get past the urge to his surprise. Later, he'd realize that the fact that he wanted to shove Bella, much harder than she shoved him, was awful. But that was for a different time. Right now he was too angry at the world to care.

He couldn't understand her point. Of course he had slept with other girls before. It's not like he cheated on her. "What the hell Bella.? I have never cheated on you and if I was fucking other girls I wouldn't bother to have this damn argument with you, I obviously like you. Being in a relationship is something I never do. It's terrifying. I'm trying! What more do you want from me?" he pointed out, his tone sounding extremely frustrated. He hated Taylor right now. He really did. She ruined everything for him because she is a selfish, evil, heartless, bitch. He walked by Bella and never felt this way before. He had no idea that it was possible for anyone to feel this way. Before he thought that everyone who thought they were in love or even had real feelings for another person were either idiots or liars. His conception of love was skewed from the start. His mother told him that one reason she wasn't eagerly leaving his father was because she loved him. How can you love someone who beat you? You couldn't. Love was supposed to be perfect and happy yet this was the ugliest human emotion he has ever seen. It was horrific. So it must be other emotions, masked with the word love because they were too awful to share.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Bella knew she was the one in the wrong. She just couldn’t admit it; at least not to Edward. But it was just so horrible, seeing and hearing a girl offer herself to her boyfriend, and knowing that he’d had sex with that girl not long before. It was very upsetting, to say the least. But still – she wondered why he’d slept with other people when he’d liked her. It didn’t really make any sense to her. She could feel the tears burning her eyes, and she had to struggle not to let them fall. She didn’t want to be caught weeping out in public.

When Edward spoke, Bella sniffled a little and kept walking, trying to come up with something to say. She had always known that Edward wasn’t too big on the whole dating thing. But it still made her feel so special that he was trying, just for her. She never showed him how much she appreciated that, and how much she really did care for him. Bella was silent the entire time he ranted to her. She reached up and rubbed at her face silently, wiping away the single tear that fell. She hoped he hadn’t seen. When he finished, demanding to know what more she wanted from him, she stopped walking abruptly and turned to face him. “Nothing, Edward!” She raked her hands through her hair, getting a little frustrated. “I don’t want any more from you.” She sighed, dropping her hands to her sides, her eyes closed. “I just want you. Just you.” That was a big thing for her to admit, considering she’d just been yelling and telling him she never wanted to see him again. “And I don’t want to be reminded that you were… very experienced before you were with me.” She shook her head at herself and turned again, walking. Just another minute or so and she’d reach her house. She could see it from where they were.

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward's expression looked like a deer in headlights. That was unexpended. He figured he would take it though. It was a lot better than them breaking up as she said she wanted just a few moments ago. Her last sentance amused him despite the seriousness of it's meaning. He wondered if that meant she wanted him to act like he had no idea what he was doing in bed. Of course he wouldn't do that. That wouldn't be fun for either of them. Then a different thought creeped into his head. What if she made him prove that he really wanted her and they couldn't sleep together. That would be a downer and unfair punishment. He'd take it, however. She had complete control of the outcome of their relationship at the moment. He was just an innocent citizen trying to do the impossible, to try to change the way the world around them functioned.

He began walking with her again, not saying anything for a moment. "Bella, I didn't mean to remind you and that girl walking up was completely out of my control. But that's just a part of who I am really. I'm trying to change. I really am. You just have to believe me," he said, trying to sway her opinion and make her happy with him again. Her being angry with him was awful and terrifying. Edward wanted things to go back to normal. He wanted the awkwardness to be out of their lives; him dating and the new obstacle in their path. He wanted to be able to kiss her without being to nervous of her thinking he was trying to distract her from their current situation. He wanted his mind to not feel jumbled and his heart not to race. Things were never really the normal he wanted. So many an alternate reality would be a better description for what he wanted.

[Isabella Marley Ryder]

Bella was terrified that wherever she went, she’d look around, wondering if any of the girls around her had slept with Edward at one point or another. That was no way to live. Or to have a relationship. Bella just wished things could be exactly the way they were before that girl had showed up. She was so disappointed that their meal had been so totally interrupted before it even started. What a bummer.

The short silence as they walked was a bit awkward, but not too much so. At least not to her. When he spoke, she didn’t look at him, but she listened to every word he said. And she did believe him. Thinking back now, she felt like a fool for reacting the way she did. He was right – he had no control over the fact that one of his past… indiscretions happened to decide she wanted to fool around again. She had just pictured Edward and that girl together. In bed. And she’d just gone crazy. It was completely irrational of her, and she knew that she’d have to apologize soon. She was an idiot. She was silent the rest of the way to her house. She walked up to the small porch and unlocked the door, still silent. She stepped inside, leaving the door open for him. She slipped off her shoes, murmuring, “Would you like something to drink?” She didn’t meet his gaze, not even waiting to see if he’d entered her home before she made her way to the tiny kitchen.

[Edward Parker Flint]

Edward looked at her after a moment of her not replying. He then began to wonder where exactly they were walking to. He had no idea. Was she randomly walking around the city with no path in sight or did she actaully have somewhere in mind. He hoped that she would not just leave him walking around in silence until he gave up and just left. He wouldn't leave, of course. He'd be stubborn and keep walking with her. He trusted her and knew that she would not lead him anywhere too awful.

When they began walking up the steps to some house and figured it must be hers. He began studying her surroundings, figuring it showed a bit what her life was like. He realized that he had no idea if she was rich, poor, lived alone, lived with friends, or lived with her parents There was so much he didn't know and he wanted to know more. Her house seemed a bit small but he actaully liked it. It seemed cozy. Edward almost walked away. It'd be wrong to go into her house uninvited. He was surprised when she asked him for a drink. A smile crept to the corners of his mouth. He slipped off his shoes as well before closing the door softly and locking it. "Yeah. I'd like that," he replied. He followed her into the kitchen, taking his time and looking at his surroundings. Her house was so much simpler than his was. It was smaller and just gave off a warm feeling. He liked it. He walked behind her and slowly, gently wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips to the top of her head slightly. "I'm sorry, Bella," he told her for good measure. Really, he simply wanted an excuse to get close to her again. He slowly stepped away from her and leaned to the side of a counter. He liked to lean on things