Ewok Hunt, I hate typing "ew*k" :P

[JaggedFel]

Ewok Hunt
Rating: I'm gonna say PG-13, because I can
Premise: Wrote this for a competition, so I got to have little fun with this one, even if it does seem short. I guess I could expand it a little, you know, add some fluff or whatever. But I'm lazy, maybe later.
======================================================

Thwack! Another dart stuck into the picture on the wall. Not much going on these days, I had already spent enough time at the bar today, so I was wasting my time playing an archaic game. The object was simple; throw little metal-tipped darts at a target a few meters away. I've gotten quite good, I've stopped hitting the wall around the photo of Endor. I shifted my feet on my desk so I could sight between them, and buried another dart in the planet. How big would these things be in scale with that photo? Bury themselves fifty klicks? Main shaft be a hundred klicks wide? I grinned at the thought of hurling giant durasteel-tipped missiles down from space. The damage would be greater than the fallout from the Death Star.
I just about to release another dart when the door chime sounded. My toss went wide, and stuck itself to the back of a shelving unit. I quickly hit a button on my desk, and the photo of Endor receded into the wall, and another photo of an AT-AT dropped down in it's place. "Enter!" A lone private entered my office and snapped to attention of front of my desk. "Orders from General Jansen, sir!" He slid a datapad across my desk, and waited in silence.

<Begin transmision: coding Delta-3>
"Colonel Fel, Commander 1st Brigade:

Effective immediately, you are to dispatch Hornet Company and get the MAA a pet ewok. A young one who can be trained. Where and how is up to you. The more the better. Hornet is afforded any and all utilities needed to complete this mission.

Good luck!

Signed.... General Jacob Jansen, Commander of the Army"
<Digital signature confirmed: #68>
<End transmission>

"Thank you, Private, that'll be all." "Yes, sir!" He snapped off a salute, and then about-faced without waiting for a return salute and left my office. I know we don't get many, but these recruits have got to learn more in the Academy. I know we want them fast, but jeez. Maybe that's why Major Catman needs an ewok, humiliate the cadets by making them salute an ewok. Man, they'd learn that one quick. I commed ALT Mercenary to come to my office, and I hit another button on my desk, once again bringing forward my picture of Endor, at least until the Lieutenant arrives...

======================================================

"Listen up!" ALT Mercenary looked at the only two other officers left in his Company. Second Lieutenant P'hargat was new, but was already his XO, and showed much promise. Private First Class Arnor was brand new, and the Lieutenant hadn't really gotten a feel for him yet. PFC Horn, on the other hand, kept to himself, was more or less just along for the ride, and by far was the most useless of the bunch. "The four of us have been ordered to 'aquire' a young ewok for Major Catman. This should be a cakewalk." He bit back a comment about Horn doing this solo, remembering what happened there six years ago.
He looked around the interior of the Assault Transport they were in. "As you can see, Colonel Fel has given us a bit more equipment than we're used to, but he's also outlined a couple different courses of action, depending on the situation when we arrive. You're already in Special Ops camoflauge, and we have a go for daylight or night-time operations. We'll set down about two klicks away from the settlement, and carry what we need. You'll be using DL-44's as your sidearms, and modified E-11s. Grenades and stun batons will also be equipped. Our options are this: night-op, in which we go in with flashbangs. You helmets will cancel out it's affects if you're close, but not if looked at directly. You have thermals and nightvision installed as well. Daytime op, in which we grab firepower, and we hit hard. Stun equipment, including concussion grenades will be the choice here. Our last option is to ambush an ewok hunting party. This one would take the longest amount of time, and the most prone to failure. What are your ideas?"
P'hargat was quick with his response, "I agree the ambush won't work. I vote for the daytime op." Arnor was next, "Daytime sounds fine to me." Mercenary lazily looked over at Horn. "Do you have a preference?" Horn just looked up, said "Whatever," and went back to ignoring the Lieutenant. "Alright, daytime it is. Re-entry should be in a few minutes, so get ready."

======================================================

After the ATR set down, they unpacked the equipment. The co-pilot pushed three speederbikes out the back, clearing the way for ALT Mercenary to move around and distribute the gear to his men. "Alright, grab your grenades and batons. We'll be hitting two huts at once, that way we can get what we wnat, and get out of there. Arnor, you're with me, P'hargat, take Horn." 2LT P'hargat began to roll his eyes but quickly checked himself, "Yes, sir."
"Here's how we're doing this. I've given you a set of small axes. Those, combined with the blades on your boots will allow you to climb the trees up to the village. That's the only way up without alerting them to our presence. The speederbikes have enough room for two people, and an unconcious ewok, which will be strapped to the back. When you've got an ewok, strap this pack to it, and just throw it off the edge." He pointed to a small chute pack. "Don't get left behind, you know how fierce these buggers can be. Everything else should be straightforward, it's a standard grab 'n' go. Questions?" Mercenary looked at his men, and seeing no movement said "Alright. Then load up, we ride."

======================================================

They arrived at the base of the trees, coasting in on the bikes to remain silent. The co-pilot was on the third bike, and he was responsible for turning the bikes around, and strapping on the ewoks that were thrown down to him. Mercenary kept his voice as he gave his last instructions. "From here on out, we go silent, understood?" Nods all around. He gave them a quick thumbs up, and then motioned towards the trees. The platforms weren't too high above the ground, only 20 meters or so. Swinging the axes over their heads, and kicking the trees fairly hard, they scaled the trees quite easily. Mercenary and Arnor made it to their platform first, and after sheathing their axes across their backs, made their way to the closest hut.
Seeing no furballs nearby, Mercenary tossed a concussion grenade into the hut, and stormed in after it detonated, batons drawn, only to find the room to be empty. He signalled Arnor to follow him to the next hut. He led Arnor up a small ramp, and heard noise from inside from the nearest building. Confident he had a target, he motioned Arnor to toss the grenade. There was a quick cry from inside, which was immediately muffled by the concussion blast. They stormed the room and immediately attacked the two inhabitants with stun batons. After they passed out, they noticed one had grey strips along his dark brown fur, as thus was too old for what they needed. The other one however, was much younger, as was evident by it's height and tan coloring. Mercenary strapped the chute pack to the young ewok as Arnor crouched by the door, watching.
He dragged the ewok out, and tossed it over the edge, watching it until it's chute opened 5 meters shy of landing. He swirled around at the sound of blaster fire, only to see that Arnor had stunned an ewok rounding the corner. He looked over at the platform where P'hargat and Horn were, just in time to watch P'hargat throw a grenade, and Horn whip inside, rifle poised. A moment later he came out and pushed an ewok off the edge, its chute also opening above the bikes. Mercenary circled his hand around his head, and the four of them made their way back to the trees. They dug in the axes lightly, and used their boots to control the rate of which they slid down the tree.
When they got to the bottom, the ewoks had already been tied down, and the co-pilot was already speeding away. They jumped on the bikes, only Horn waited a moment before doing so. "Horn, what the hell are you waiting for?" He just looked up at the village, and after sighting with his rifle scope, fired a single shot. A scream was heard, and Mercenary looked up to see a single ewok plunge to the forest floor, hitting with a resounding thud. "That, sir." He then jumped on his bike and sped off with P'hargat. Mercenary grumbled to himself and headed back to the waiting transport.

======================================================

After they had placed the two captives in the holding cells, Mercenary pulled PFC Horn over to the side. "What the hell was that? You can't just do whatever you want! Sure, I want to shoot some too, but that's what a LOA is for." Horn just looked at him, shrugged, and replied "Whatever, I don't care." The Lieutenant just glared and pointed at him, "You're not gonna have a career much longer, Private. You see this rank plate? It means that you have to shut up and do as I say, understood?" Horn just said "Fine, whatever," and walked away. How does the Colonel do this?.
"Alright, we've got two, and that was rather easy. Anyone up for being an overachiever?" Everyone except Horn raised their hands. "Good, then we go again tonight. Use flashbangs this time. Go ahead and rest up, we've got a couple hours before we leave."

======================================================

They were once again standing beneath the trees, only this time it was dark, and the only light was being reflected off the planet of Endor. Again speaking in hushed tones, "Alright, we go up different trees this time, but be careful, they may expect us this time, no thanks to Private Horn over here." Horn just stood there, and with his helmet on Mercenary wasn't able to see his expression, although he knew he was either grinning, or completely lack of expression. "Everyone take a hut individually, secure what you can."
Within minutes, they were once again on the platform suspended in the trees. Once they were set next to their respective huts, Mercenary set a double-click over the comm, and all four threw flashbangs at the same time. In the green light of the nightvision, Mercenary quickly noticed his hut was empty. They were doing this in one shot, so he crouched in the doorway so he could see the other huts, and waited for the impending ewok response. He saw Horn also come out empty handed and stand in the doorway casually. Mercenary just shook his head and focused his attention to the ewoks that were now emerging from huts around them. A quick flurry of shots on full power dropped two of them, and second later they sounded the horns, no doubt the same sounds that initiated the attack six years ago.
As Mercenary watched P'hargat and Arnor throw their ewoks down, he barely had time to see a small rock heading for him, and he simply swatted it out of the air. Three shots ensured there wasn't going to be a second one. Blasters were now firing from three of the huts, P'hargat was nowhere to be seen, until he came out and pushed a second ewok over the side. "That's it, let's go!" They all began to run back to their trees, ducking rocks and arrows while trying to fire as they fleed.
They slid down the trees a little faster than last time, making sure they had the tree between them and their pursuers. By the time they touched down, two out of three of the ewoks were tied down, and he was just starting on the third. "Horn, grab the double, we can't get two people on there anyway, and you guys grab the single when he's done." Horn lazily walked over and took off. Mercenary hid in the foliage and picked off ewoks as they peered over the edge, doging arrows and rocks as they came. P'hargat and Arnor waited on the bike for the ewok to get strapped down all the way, and then took off themselves. Mercenary started heading to the third bike, providing cover fire, until the co-pilot was run through by an arrow, and then a second. Mercenary ran full speed to the third bike, and was on the accelerator before he was able to even throw his other leg over. He sped off into the night, leaving the primitives in his wake.

======================================================

Mercenary arrived at the transport to find the last of the ewoks being loaded into its cell. He pulled his speeder into the back, and waited for the last last to close. He took off his helmet, tossed it in his seat, and went into the cockpit. He emerged a few minutes later, smiled, and said "Well done, mission accomlished."

[grunthos]

you REALLY hate Ewoks, don't ya?

[JaggedFel]

Yes, I do. They all must die a slow, and horrible death.

("Vader's Fist" work work too )