Like a TV Show? Love one? Hate one? Then post your most loved/hated quotes right here in our quoting vault. We have 407,390 supped-up hamsters running around the clock to keep this baby alive so get quoting before they have kids and eat them!



Scorpio: "Hey, look at my feet. Like these mocassins? Look in your cupboard, there's a pair for you. Don't like 'em? Then neither do I. GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! Ever see a guy say goodbye to a shoe?"
Homer: "Yeah, once."


Burns: "Ever seen the sun set at 3 PM?"
Cap'n McAllister: "Aye, once, when I was sailing around the artic cir-"
Burns: "Oh, shut up!"

Obviously, my two are from The Simpsons.

Simpsons:

Homer: "I smell ckae that says, farewell, and best wishes."
Nelson: "Your old man is amazing."
Bart: "Oh thats nothing, he can hear pudding."

Mr. Burns: "Excellent."

Stargate:

T'ealc: "Indeed."

Jack: "Way to go Junior!"

this scene had me laughing so hard I was on the floor in tears. I kis you not, and when I think about it I burst out laughing.... people think I am nuts

[Ned and Homer are driving in a snowstorm.]
Ned Flanders: Homer, we just hit something!
Homer: Ooooooh, I hope it was Flanders


oh priceless......

yes, yes it was brilliant!

"Now, Nibbles, chew through my ball sack!"

yes that episode was awesome!!

I was shocked for about 30 seconds after that one, then I just lost it!

Chalmers: "Skinner! Why are you wearing a school dodge ball sack and...is that burning literature I smell? There had better be a damn good reason for this."
Bart: "There is, sir."
Chalmers: "Good, then I'm convinced." Drives away.

I love Bender:

"Tempers are wearing thin. Let's hope some robot doesn't kill everybody."

"I could pound your head 'til you thinks that's what happened."

"I'm Bender, baby, please insert liquor!"

Bender kicks ass. No respect for anyone, and everyone appreciates him for that B)

Bender is the best character ever but he best line has to be from Family Guy = Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch. :lol:

OMG!! YES!!

STEWIE ROCKS!!

:clapping:

One of my favorite Family Guy quotes:

Diane and Tom are doing the news, after some banter comes the line;
"We now go live to Diane being a bitch, Diane?"

"Mother, i say, I have a gift for you. I'll give you a clue, it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster!!!"


As for Bender:

"Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?"

My three favorite TV characters are as follows, in no particular order:
Homer Simpson, because he is Homer Friggin' Simpson
Hank Scorpio, when you have a beard that cool and lines to match I'll add you to this list
Dr. John Zoidberg, because there is nothing else like him....ever....anywhere.

"A fancy dress gala? I'll wear my formal shell!"

OH how did I forget "Hey baby, want to kill all humans?"

man I say that all the time... :doh!:

"There are no stupid questions, just stupid people" - Mr Garrison.

"Thats not true! You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios. :lol:

"You get your b*tch-ass back in the kitchen! And make me some pie!"

Default the best 2 words in the english dictionary

"You better watch who your calling a child louis, because if I'm a child you know what that makes you? A Paedophile, and I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and be lectured by a pervert!"

Peter to Lois -- Family Guy

"I didn't pass gas til I was 30 *cut to Peter on a seat and a fart noise* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?"

Brian: "Oh my god. They ate Tricia Takanawa!"
Peter: "Why? They're just gonna get hungry again in an hour. "

Family Guy

Quagmire on finding a cheerleader tied up in the bathroom:

"Dear diary, jackpot."

Stewie: Yay and God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son, Issak", and Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone." "Oh I'm sorry, Is this better? Check, check, check... Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here."

"It is not that which goes into one's mouth that defiles thee... but rather what cometh out."

Cartman, after moses... in the "timmy walks!" Episode of southpark

The best of Mr. Burns...

Mr. Burns: "You're fired."
Marge: "You can't fire me just because I'm married. I'm gonna sue the pants off of you."
Mr. Burns: "You don't have to sue me to get my pants off."


"Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!"

"Bad corpse! Stop ... scaring ... Smithers!"

[Stone flies through Mr. Burns' office window]
"Look Smithers, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction."

lucas: joe i think everythings going to be ok...
joe: and what makes you think that!!?!!?!?!?!
lucas: who knows where thoughts come from..they just appear..........mmhmm!

"So, how old are you?"
"Sixtee-"
"Eighteen huh? alright!"
"Moooom!"
"I like where this is going, giggidy giggidy giggidy!"


Best of Burns, part 2:

"Why don't we just take the power we need from the orphanage, who are they going to complain to, their parents?"

"Conga like you mean it! Please don't make me shock you!"

"This must be some sort of cafetorium."

"Hahaha, what a great practically based joke!"

"Hhahahahahahaha, hahahahahahahahahahahaha, hahahahahahahahahahhaha, hahahahahahahahahahahahaha....what was I laughing at again? Oh yes, that crippled Irishman! hahahhahahahaha"

OMG I love that one.


Quagmire has a flashback to his childhood:

We see jim crying and his mom picks him up and starts breastfeeding him.
"Hehe, allright."

Quagmire at his best:

"Glenn, honey, I have a question for you. What do you do for a living?"
"I got a question for you, ha, why are you still here?"

"Does this look like a Q to you?"
"All I see is Lois."
"Well, maybe we should ask Lois if you should come out tonight. Hey Lois, should Peter stay here and mope about his lost girlfriend *shakes haps from side to side, we faintly hear some slapping*. Ha, should he come out with his friend Glenn? *shakes hips up and down, same slapping.*"

"We have here a pair of panties from a prostitute."
"50 bucks!"
"She had nine STDs."
"45 bucks!"
"She also soiled herself when we arrested her."
"...50 bucks!"

"You know back when I was your age I always in bed by 8...and home by 11, OH!!"

"Mr Quagmire I-AHHH!!! I'm so sorry!"
*See Quagmire in the missionary with a woman on the kitchen countertop
"Don't worry Meg, you just bought me 2 more minutes. Giggity giggity giggity!"

*See Quagmire getting in bed with Trisha Takenawa*
"Wow, I've never had a Spanish chick before."

"You had sex with two fillipino women and a man."
"You...you mean three fillipino women."
*looks desparate as Brian doesn't believe him*
"O, o god!"