Until this past Sunday since it had been such a long time since it last happened I actually thought my brother had understood how wrong it was,and realized how much it hurt me,and stuff,and had quit emotionally abusing me but I was so wrong because on the way home from church after church Sunday morning I had an emotional confrontation with my brother,I tried to ignore it but I couldn't,I acted like I ignored it,and stayed silent during it knowing how talking to him won't do me any good,and was able to fight my tears,and didn't let him see me cry since that only makes it worse when he sees me cry because of it,all I did was ask if I needed a ride for church Sunday night,and the emotional confrontation started,and I don't know what to do about this emotional abuse,I'm sick of it. Sure I plan to follow Brother Charles the previous Pastor at church (currently don't have a Pastor at church,and am looking for someone to talk to about my problems offline right now,sure he adviced me of who to go to but I got to let them get to learn me first),the letter telling my brother how the emotional abuse makes me feel but there is one problem I need help writing it because I have major writers block on it,no idea how to start it one single idea period I'm totally stuck,and no sure guarantee that it will work any way.
I'd much rather daddy did something about this after all daddy once did the samething to me,yet he quit 4 years ago before my late granddad passed away,although he did emotionally abuse me in December during the holidays but that's the only time in the past 4 years,and mom did nothing about it but then she's on Prozac,and both my parents act differently,and treat me badly when on Prozac,since my mom,and I have the same doctor I plan to talk with her about it but I can't unless I'm by myself,but since I have to have my blood drawn at ever appointment now that's not likely because I can't do that on my own.
Before the emotional abuse Sunday I was feeling a lot better emotionally,and not feeling as depressed but now I feel just as depressed as before,the emotional abuse always makes me feel the same way,worthless,and stuff.
I told one of my friends offline about it,big mistake that was as she told me it was my own fault that I must have aggravated him some how,that it must have something to do with how I treat him,and nonsense,and I'm like in my mind I don't need this so my Sunday School teacher is not someone I can go to about this subject for sure because she don't understand how to deal with it yet she didn't respond like this before so I don't understand this,and I feel she's not someone I should ever go to with my problems again leaving me with no offline to go to about this stuff unless I go to the Youth Minister or the Music Director at church. I am not sure who God wants me to go to but I have been getting to know the Youth Minister,and letting him get to know me.
My cousin did once tell me that someone told her that I supposedly said that both my brother,and sister-in-law were emotionally abusing me when I'm not the one that made that statement,I tried to tell her that but she refused to believe me,and I don't know who told her such a thing but it leads me to believe that someone did over hear my conversation with Brother Charles in the fellowship hall that Wednesday night,and heard him make that statement,that I corrected him on,I knew it was a bad idea to have the talk in the fellowship hall where people could over hear it. I did tell my cousin that my brother does emotional abuse but she didn't believe me she was like your parents would never leave you in a situation like that,and I'm like you sure don't know that for certain,and how can you think I would lie about that,I would have said that to her had she given me the chance to.
My cousin goes to the same church I do didn't used to though,sometimes it's a good thing but not always.