Live alone or die? (MAY TRIG.. HAS SU IN HERE), wouldn't know which is more better!

[Suicidal_Teenager]

I dunno what to do.
I feel kinda jammed shut to be quite honest.

Ma brother is on a warrant for his arrest by the police.
But he had beaten me up, and now i've got a big huge bump on ma forehead all bruised up.. and he kicked ma ear so hard, that ma ear drew loads of blood and i cant get the stain away from ma skin cos its too painful.
he broken ma £120 fone & said that he aint buying me a new one.
he keeps doing this to me, nd ma mom does jack all about it.
he said i was lucky to not of been kicked and to beaten black & blue by him.
he says that he's glad about it & he's proud - & if he could, he'd do it again to me.
so many people hate me at the moment.
I cant stand it. So i'm wantin to kill maself.
And I'm to that boiling point now where I have to let go,
I wanna jump and kill maself, but I'm too scared.
I hate ma life. I really dont want it.
So many people wish me dead, even ma mom said she doesnt wanna know me no more after what happened between ma bro, cos she thinks i'm making it up, that my bro wouldn't hurt me, she keeps sayin, maybe you fell and knocked ya head on sumthin - i tried to tell her that i could tell the difference between falling on somethiing & someone actually kickin me.
Ma bro always does this.
SO i told him, that i'm going to the police bout him cos i'm sick off him beating me up all the time & then ma mom coming home from work to stick up for ma bro

So I'm at the libary now, homeless cos ma family wants nout to do with me anymore - they say that to thum i'm dead.
I dont see the point anymore.
I've been refused by the homeless department.
I have no real friends.
So i have nowhere.. & no-one.
I really am alone in this world & out for meh self.

I finds it pointless to keep carrying on when i have nout left!

please, someone - find me an answer, please.. i'm on the urge of killin meself.. i would of done it by now.. if it wasn't the fact I'm scared of actually known i'm gonna do it.
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRHHHHHH!!!!!

This post has been edited by Silently Broken on Oct 18 2005, 08:14 PM

[HateBreedGrl21]

Hey, I'm sort of new at this, but my boyfriend went through something similar with the brother thing. Im so sorry, living is definatly the ultimate choice. I feel like crap all the time... and i have some problems too, but just knowing that death is a choice is sickening. Pink yourself up, and you may say you dont have friends... But here you do! Hopefully today will be an ok day for you!
-Courtney

[edited by Silently Broken because the red font was waaaaaaay too hard to read
p.s...welcome! ]

This post has been edited by Silently Broken on Oct 18 2005, 11:29 PM

[OhioAngel]

Hey Sammi~
Sorry to hear that all of this is happening to you. I can't believe your mom thinks you would make something up like that. I hope that the police will eventually find your brother and arrest him. Although it sounds like it wouldn't help if they did.
And Courtney is right...you have friends right here....and we are here to get you through this.
I really don't know what else to say, I wish I knew of someplace you could go, someplace safe. I really wish for you the best. I saw on another post that you are not religious, but I wanted to ask, would it be ok if I prayed for you? I never force my religion on anyone and most of the time I don't mention religion unless someone says something first...but for some reason I feel a strong urge to pray for you and your situation...but I wanted to get an ok from you first.
I really hope things get better for you. Like Courtney said...living is the ultimate choice...PM me if you need to talk.
Take Care,
Lynn