After five years I was diagnosed offically yesterday with NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I always thought there was something but I always thought it was in my head. I suppose i'm stupid for thinking that but mehg... I have to carry on. Right ?
For those that don't know what NPD is... these are the syptoms.
- Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
- Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion
- Firmaly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)
- Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation -or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply).
- Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favourable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations
- Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends
- Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others
- Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her
- Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted.
Now, I really do not believe I have this but John Lennon's killer has NPD and look what he did. I don't know whether i'm scared or relieved. It's been so long waiting for the doctors to get of there butts and stop using the whole 'you are a schizophrenic' line... I don't hear voices that are not already there. I know that they are my own so it is different and ... maybe... more dangerous.
Any advice on how I cope ? No pills... no medication... just many trips to the shrink. e.g. once a week.
Any thing that isn't obvious would be a help.