Hi, I am new to the site but I have been searching and researching fr answers and help and guidance about my screwedupness for years. I have been SI'ing for 6 or 7 years and I was diagnosed a long time ago with major depresseion "at risk" for bipolar disorder (i guess it means that i could develop it later on in life, but I was only 12 when they said that) and abnormal Eating behaviors but I never thought my diagnosis where accurate because I never gave a crap what they said and I never actually told my counselors anything that was really true. I also never told anyone about SI and other suicidal thoughts and weird little things that noone really needs to know anyway, but I was wondering if maybe I was accurately diagnosed and given proper medication and treatment do you think that would work? I mean I hate the thought of going back into therapy because I spent most of my childhood in a psychitrists office, but I also know that if I don't do SOMETHING I could be AT RISK for something much worse than bipolar disorder. So, I guess, my question is, do you think I should try one lst time to be diagnosed and recover or just try to deal with it myself? Because I know a diagnosis won't make my situation better but atleast maybe I won't feel so confused..... I dunno...... PLEASE PLEASE RESPOND!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!! (cry)~~love Lisa

yes. quite simply they can't help yu unless thy know whats going on. the meds may or may not work, the therepy may or may not work. i was depressed for 13 years and tried all sorts of stuff before i found something that actually helped, and now im fine.

but you gotta give yourself a chance by being honest ith them to start, or you got no hope of them helping you at all

take care

Fae

^ she's right, Fae is right a lot ;)

As she said, you need to tell them the actual problems, once I started doing that with my counsellor I started improving.

It will be worth it :)

And, welcome to the site, any questions feel free to ask me or any of the admin/mods :)

Take care, hope to see you posting more.

Sarah

I have never been officially diagnosed or given a label for whats wrong with me and i dont feel the need for one, they probably have one but have never told me. But I do think that being honest and letting your dr, councellor, psych know exactly what is going on and how you are feeling is the only way of getting the right kind of treatment. Copeing on your own is a very very hard thing to do and unnecessary when there is support out there for you.
hugs you lots

triple Bxx

therapy won't help if you don't want it to... i know this because i was forced to go and i just sat there and glared at whoever was trying to help me... so yeah. don't do that if you want it to help, lol. (altho now i think i should be considering going to therapy for BPD).
meds are hard, or they were for me. i could never tell if they were helping and they always made me feel sick... i only tried a few different ones, but then i was healed and i stopped meds cold turkey, which is also something i wouldn't highly reccomend...

recovery is very different for everyone i think. therapy and meds didn't really do anything for me, but i know people who it's helped tons. you just gotta try it...

trying to do it on your own is bad. don't do it.

One of my close relatives actually has Bipolar. She went to get treatment and it was proboly the best thing for her, as she'd be a total wreck if not for that. I suggest you get the help you need hun. It might take a little while for them to get the meds right, due to tolerances and stuff like that. You need to tell them everything though, or like DefeatingDarkness said it won't help. If you be truthful and realize they want to help you, things should get better.

Take care
~Jason

be honest with them and give them a chance to hepl you. dont suffer alone.

Hey guys Thanx for the advice! I KNOW I shoulda been more honest and I shoulda spoken up about my problems, but for me it is just easier said than done. And each time I went into counseling I wanted it to be different, but I dunno I guess I was just emotionally exhausted, and sick and tired of having to fight for my own sanity!!! Isn't this something that should come naturally, sometimes my own brain makes me just sooo damn tired!!!!!! It's like I wanna feel better, but I don't have the strength and courage to try anymore, and after a while people just started to give up on me, just when I needed them the most.... I dunn but thanx for the advice and I appreciate it! ~ :heart: Lisa

I know the feeling. This counsellor is the only one I've spoken honestly too, and even then some days I just can't and she understands that. She is a fantastic counsellor.

I did have to be ready though, mentally and physically.

Sarah

Yeah, and to be honest with you, I am probably not ready yet. And I don't think I am ready to quit SIing either! BUT, I was having an idea, that maybe, if there is an SI support group around here I could go to it and maybe it will help me BE ready to go to real counseling again... I am not sure if there is, but I'm going to look into it!~~Thanx for the support Sarah your a saint!~~~ :heart: Lisa

That's a great idea, I hope you find one.

And its no problem, that's what I and the board are here for :)

there are SI groups in many places, there is also a national wide postal support group.
they have a website and are really helpful and it may be a good place to start. they can provide you with lists of local services to you and membership is free.

www.projectspear.com

have a look - hope it helps.

tanyab

Thanx sooo much, and I will look at the sight! I wish I was as strong as you guys!~~:heart: Lisa

you are in your own way. everyone goes through better and worse times. sometimes someone looks strong but inside is struggling hard. at the moment im hiding away writing my report at home - no because its easier to work from home like i told my boss but because i cant face anyone else for more than an hour. my point being everyone goes up and down but everyone has strength.


ok will shut up now. :ph43r:

From what I can see from posts and stuff, you've been through a lot and you're still here. That's strong. Plenty of people don't think they are strong when they actually are, very much.

Thanx. :heart: Lisa

Yea, there was a time when I was fighting for my sanity and it turned out bad!O.o But I`m not saying it`ll turn out the same for you,I just had no one to talk to or anyone that could help me. I hope you get the help you need, let me know if you wanna talk about anything. :wave:

well... I was depressed and suicidal for twenty years, starting at age seven!! I didn't get any better until last year. At 22 I tried getting therapy, but my therapist and Iwere a bad match so I stopped going. But when I was 27, when My BF was still in Iraq, I went again to a therapist and a psychiatrist. Both were a perfect match for me this time. And I'll tell you this-- getting diagnosed was a sigh of relief for me!! When I heard "You have dysthemia, Borderline PersonalityDisorder, and Social Anxiety" I felt so much better to actually KNOW.

Coincedentally, When my Dad was going in and out of the mental hospital, he searched for TEN YEARS before he found a doc that fit-- then he started his recovery.

I`m sorry that you had to go through that. I know what its like. I first started getting depressed when I turned eight and then I started feeling suicidal at age eleven and my first psychiatrist was an awful match. She gave me extremely strong anti-depressive medicine, that was only for adults and she didn`t even take the time to diagonse me. And then after I stopped seeing her, I got off the medicine and my whole body and emotions were messed up. But now I have a great psychiatrist. I hate it that some doctors will give you any knid of medicine just to get their money.

This is just an update. I was diagnosed when I was at the hospital, and I hate official diagnosis in a way they make you feel so handicapped or something, I dunno it's just the typical thing really I mean BPD, Bipolar, PTSD, Psychogenic Amnesia, as far as I know that's it but it's a little ambiguous I think it's rediculous and that's why I don't even care about it because I think that psychologist at the hospital was a complete quack. I'm scheduled for a psych eval so I'll find out the truth soon enough like it or not, oooohh maybe I'm even in DENIAL. haha jk missed you guys!