Title: What did I do to myself *trigger*
Voidfull - July 1, 2007 11:49 AM (GMT)
I just cut now :'( I want to talk to somebody but I can't
because everybody hurts me, even my best friend just did hurt me now, even my pscyhiatrist hurts me :'( I think I'm alone here and that I should end it alone.
what did i do, and what do i do to myself :(
can normal people cut themselves? I want to know how far I have gone.
maybe even you will hurt me, sometime you might, by you i mean people on this forum, its not far from true.
sunrisequeen - July 2, 2007 12:08 AM (GMT)
First of all *hugs*
Secondly, we try our best on here not to hurt anyone, but we're humans and we may say something unknowingly. Hopefully we wont, but there isnt a single relationship without the risk of getting hurt. I'm sorry, but thats the way it is.... People may hurt you by not being there, they may hurt you by not being able to understand what you're going through, they may be trying to help, but say the wrong thing. It hurts, yes, but it doesnt mean they dont love you, or that they dont care about you.
I'm sorry you feel alone, but though you do now, you have to know that you arent. You may be solitary but not alone. We're all here for you, though its weird that we're on the other end of the internet cable >.< but we're here and ready to understand and listen to what you have to say.
And just because you cut, it doenst make you crazy or any less normal thatn the next person. We all deal with feelings in a different way and sometimes it just feels right to take it out on yourself than any one else.
Have you gon through the SI alternatives section pinned here? They can be very helpful.
I hope you feel better.
Voidfull - July 2, 2007 08:08 AM (GMT)
Thank you so much :) I'm feeling better today.
Even though I just vomited, everytime I go out I either cry or vomit, I don't understand why.
sunrisequeen - July 2, 2007 01:31 PM (GMT)
hmm...do you mean on purpose? And out where??
Voidfull - July 2, 2007 01:50 PM (GMT)
no, not on purpose, in 4 out of 5 exams i went to I vomited when I came back (no, I'm not the kind of person who worries about exams, my sister is but I never was and not), and I cried 2 times, I cried once when I was at the park and cried another time when I was going to pay for my internet.
OhioAngel - July 2, 2007 07:19 PM (GMT)
I'd have to agree with what Sunrise has said.
We are all here for you....if you ever need to chat, feel free to PM.
I really can't think of anything else to add
sunrisequeen - July 4, 2007 01:00 AM (GMT)
Did you tell your psychiatrist about it? I can see you're having problems with him/her but...well..we arent professionals here and I think your problems may be caused by social anxiety....but again, I'm nor professional.
If you dont feel comfy with your psych, get a new one. You really should be able to speak freely and feel comfy...and this should not be happening while you are seeing a professional.
Voidfull - July 4, 2007 02:37 PM (GMT)
No I didn't tell him yet, I didn't see him since these vomiting and crying things started, but I will see him on the next Saturday.
I don't understand how can I feel comfortable with a complete stranger (the psychiatrist) when I don't even feel totally comfortable with my friends and with my family.
And he told me I do have social anxiety among other things.
I was supposed to start my therapy the day before yesterday but he belated it because he is busy with work in college, he doesn't understand that one of his patients might be dead until the next Saturday.