:SI:

i am finding things so so hard now. the person i love keeps trying to kill herself, i still have feelings for my ex, my friends all hate me because some girl spread round some rumours and the ones who have stuck by me, r off to uni in a week...i dont know how to cope. my mum is ill too and needs and operation. im going in for an op too in a few months and it scares the hell out of me. i hate hospitals. im not allowed to work even tho i now have my degree because the dr says im not well enough mentally to hold down a job. all other friends i have (online ones and ones ive met a few times but r close to) most of them are all cutting and suicidal and i just cannot cope!!!!!! its five weeks si free tomorrow and the deadline is looming on me like crazy. im struggling to reach midnight without si....i know this is a bit of a rant, but ive just had enough. the last straw and all that....xxxxx

*just added a trigger for in case -- Amy*

SIing is not a coping skill you need to use. I don't use it as a coping skill, I do it because my mind is messed up and I don't even want to do it out of stress. It's just something that happens to me... but you don't want to be like me.

If you keep hurting yourself, nothing will get better. I know I'm not ready to stop cutting, but if you are dedicated to stopping it altogether, unlike me, you don't even have to relapse. It's not easy, but you can do it.

The best way to cope with these problems is to accept the way things are in your life. You cannot change your love, even though you can get this person professional help. Who really cares about the idiot who spreads the rumors about you? You don't need to care about her at all. You can't change the fact that your mom is sick and that you're getting an operation, too.

In order to get a job, you have to become mentally stable. Maybe you ought to go to an outpatient program, or meet with a DBT therapist every week. DBT therapy would be great for you. Read about it in the links section.

You could try talking to someone other than friends? I know it sounds weird, but I have a friend who I talk to about my friendships. Sometimes it gives me another perspective/ideas on how I can help my friends...

Try going through Sarah's list of alternatives to SI. You could maybe find a few things you could do when the urges are getting a bit much.

Sorry about the operation. Could you get some info about it that would make you feel more comfortable about it? Maybe your doctor will be able to tell you a little about it.

Hope things get better.

Amy

i have tried many many alternatives to si. trust me. im 21, and i have been si'ing since i was 11. i dont si just to cpoe, there r other factors in my history too but for now these r the things that are getting to me. its all jst so many worries at once. its getting on top of me. i have a psychiatrist but she is a bit rubbish, a woman is coming to see me next week about being in group therapy things. which is scary because i have only ever had one to one. ive had cbt and had a fantastic psych when i was in child services (15yrs-18yrs) but then i went to uni and he left for a new job. cbt helped, but now im not at uni, i cant go bk to her. so i seem to be mid therapy at the moment. its all in the pipeline, its just taking time. xxxxxxxxxxxx