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Broken Smiles > Depression > im still here


Title: im still here


g3696 - September 12, 2006 12:27 PM (GMT)
:SU: :SI: :ED:


well i didnt end up killing myself as my friend saved me she sent me a msg right b4 i went through with it saying how much she loves me i havent been on 4 ages cuz iv been trying 2 get better no1 prob noaticed i was gone anyway i really havnt gotten better @ all...every1 h8s me and every1 wants me gone anyway i dont no y im posting this every1 would b better off if i craweled up in2 a ball and died...iv been eating alot less but its still 2 much im feeling incredably fat even though my firnd says im really skinny but im not im really not..iv only been 8 days with out cutting which is crap...and i feel embarsed bout posting this cuz i didnt go through with killing my self worry 4 bothering u all with this....sorry 4 whining
xxoxo
georgia

scattycat - September 12, 2006 02:33 PM (GMT)
oh hunni. dont feel like this. i am so so glad u didnt get a chance to go through with it. u r worth so much better than that! im sorry that i dont know u, but thats because i only started posting here a couple of days ago really. but given the chance i would like to get to know u. why do people hate u? u say u have friends which is good. and its clear from that msg that the friend who txt u loves u very very much!!! dont forget that. the only people who matter r those who u love and who love u. i hope this has helped a little bit. could ur friend go with u to the dr so u can have some counselling? xxx

Coffin_Of_Guilt - September 12, 2006 03:22 PM (GMT)
*snuggles*

I`m soooo glad you're still here honey...I worried about you a hell of alot :hug:

Remeber sweetie...8 days is amazing! Everyone has there victories, and you are too :)

Love you :kiss2:

Lotsa love Safrina xxx <33

Silently Broken - September 12, 2006 04:32 PM (GMT)
I'm glad you didn't go through with it. Don't feel embarrassed at all *hugs*

8 days is a big achievement!

Take care

Adrien - September 12, 2006 04:53 PM (GMT)
Although I do not like hearing people whine and sometimes want to scream when I see them whine, I did listen to what you had to say.

You need to tell us that you're not going to cut for a long time, and I mean more than eight days. I've personally gone about a month without putting a single cut on my arm. I want you to go a month without it, and then even more and more. You'll feel the psychological withdrawal pain going on in your head, but you have to pretend you're a recovering alcoholic. It's hard, yes, but if you actually want to get better, then you need to stop.

Now, by saying that everyone hates you, as I would call it in a mean way, is bullcrap. You can't read their minds, so how would you know they hate you? Sure, maybe I have a lot of people who hate me, but they atleast tell me in a casual manner that they hate me. Sure, it's upsetting to hear that, but I know for a fact that no one hates me. You have people who love you, unlike a lot of people in this country. Compare yourselves to all the people out there who aren't loved. YOU'RE not one of them.

Look at this board, people will give you positive feedback, but you have to be sure that you're positive, because if you keep whining and whining, you'll still get positive feedback and you might think that people are going to pay attention to you only if you whine. Try your best to stay positive, honey. It's the best thing you can do. Be optomistic--things WILL get better if you work for it. Remember that, and you will get some of the most positive feedback of your life.

That's all I have to say for now.

Martina - September 12, 2006 05:48 PM (GMT)
I know how much it sucks when all you want to do is end it all. I've been there several times myself in the last twenty years. I've been suicidal since I was seven.

Its perfectly okay to feel bad, to cry and complain. Its human and honestly, its good for you to relase all the negative stuff. I wish more people would do it regularly.

BUT-- right now you need to start building yourself up. Start eating again. Take out some time each day to think about one positive aspect of your life-- no matter how small-- even if its just "I saw a cool tv show" or whatever. Laugh at a joke. Try to concentrate on the better parts of life, instead of all the sorrow and misery and lonliness.

I had a love affair with death for a long, long time. And it took actual WORK not to be so obsessed with Death. I had to try really, really hard-- with lots of therapy and medication and just hard work on my part.

We're all here for you, cheering you on. We love you.

g3696 - September 14, 2006 10:18 AM (GMT)
im sorry i whined ill leave you all alone sorry

Martina - September 14, 2006 11:30 AM (GMT)
QUOTE (g3696 @ Sep 14 2006, 10:18 AM)
im sorry i whined ill leave you all alone sorry

NO!!! You are okay!!!!! Don't leave us alone.

Adrien - September 14, 2006 04:16 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (g3696 @ Sep 14 2006, 10:18 AM)
im sorry i whined ill leave you all alone sorry

No, it's fine. You can stay. I know people who make these depression boards just to whine about their problems and to get people to pay attention to them and only them, and are only pretending that they have all these problems. You sound like you're for real, which is why I didn't start screaming at you, or ignoring you, rather.

Anyways, you don't have to be left alone. People are good to be around, but you have to stay away from people who will whine and whine and will bring you down. People like those are the negative attention-seekers. You're not one of them, so don't worry. We won't leave you alone when you're this depressed. At these points, you NEED to get help. You're a good person, remember that. Alright, now?




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