Sometimes I get so scared that I lose touch and and I don't want to do anything. I don't know if this post warants a trigger warning, but I am just being careful. I lose it. I am so sensitive these days, I find myself balling over little stuff, and I get confused, because normally a lot of stuff rolls off my back, but in a sense if you have climbed out of things, and are able to know yourself without all this stuff blinding you, when you do go backwards, I find that it hurts more. I am freaking out about my future. I'm scared that I am not equipped to be a productive adult, and I don't want to fail. Everytime I think about it, I get somewhat numb, and I wander around like a zombie. I used to be able to push things aside, but the older I get, the more I am unable to push anything aside. I think I've hit my limit, and it scares me to think that I might head in the right path, and then something will happen that I will not process well, and I will lose my ability to even function. It's all fear, and it's all inside me. How do I fight what is inside me? My family doesn't understand. When I try to talk to them, they think they know, but the truth is they do not know how severe this is. They do not have any idea what I've been through, or how I function even if I try to explain it to them.

Yeah I have the same problem.

Especially lately. I cry over the smallest stuff now...

Umm. I don't really have any good advice for you. I will, however, tell you this.

It's not healthy to push things aside. Part of conquering anxiety is to face it, no matter how hard it is to face and look directly in the eye. But the more you do it, the more confident you will become and eventually you will fight it off and be ok.

Anxiety is difficult to deal with, but keep working at it. :)

i'm dealing with this too. i don't really know what to say...it's like all of the sudden you're thrown into the real world and you find out that it's a horrible place and there's so much that is expected of you and you just don't think you have what it takes to make it.

i think i remember reading that you just graduated from college? what are you doing now? maybe instead of going straight into the professional work world, you could get a less stressful job somewhere for a while?

i agree with fallon, as scary as it is you just need to face your fears head on. start with something small and do it at your own pace. the future scares the shit outta me...maybe if you just don't look at the long run right now, just focus on the little things that you can control in the short term, maybe that would make thinking about the future a little more managable.

hope this helps :S

Thanx guys. I know I have to just do it, and I will get a less stressful job. What I am concerned about is that I am a creative writing major, and I am not writing as much now. I am too preoccupied. i am going to set up a schedule because i love writing. I just have to get into it again. Distractions. I need to learn how to zone out the distractions in my life. Right now, I'm applying and waiting. Waiting. Thanx again.