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Title: Blomptys tales


blompty - August 11, 2009 09:09 PM (GMT)
It was a normal afternoon behind the bank in seer’s village. Cries of ‘’Buying 1 law pl0x’’ were repeated over and over and over and over again and no one could be bothered to help. People and bots/autoers were cutting maples and one of this people was a fellow called Blompty2. He had a pathetic rune axe that all the other high levels laughed at until they got whisked away by some mysterious old man, presumably to be raped but who knows? Blompty always wondered and thought about where they went whilst he was woodcutting. Of course, when woodcutting, you should be paying attention to where your axe is and he accidentally killed a poodle, woman and a seer. Just then there was a flash of purple light and the sandwich lady appeared and she held a box of sandwiches.

Here blompty2 have an egg roll. Said the sandwich lady

But...if your a sandwich lady why are you selling egg rolls. Replied blompty.

If you contradict me, i will beat you to death with this baguette she replied with a menacing smile.

Why does a sandwich lady have a baguette. He shouted, confuddled.

YAY HOMICIDE! She shouted and she killed blompty

She disspeared and soon blomptys grave was shrouded by a wave of players.

L0l narb
Omg lololo
Lmfao
Buying 1 law pl0x



It was Lumbridge courtyard and noobs were wondering what to do. Beside the bushes were people dressed in fancy dress and dissing the noobs. Blompty landed on them and killed them all. They didn’t respawn.

‘’The hell...’’ said a guy in dharoks passing by to complete recipe of disaster.
i-i dunno. SHE HAD A BAGUETTE! A BAGGUETE! Replied Blompty
the dharok guy lolled and pushed blompty aside. Blompty got in the foetal position and started rocking backwards and forwards

must kill sandwich lady he repeated over and over again.


thats the end of chapter1 i hope you laughed. [BEEP]
Post if u want in on the story. :drool:



Chappteh TOO


It was a busy afternoon in Falador. Wyson the garderner stood alone in the park. A tear to his eye. He remembered the olden days. The days where on world 2 people would sell dds and barrows. But the grand exchange...

Just then Hellbound was getting a haircut with his bandos tassets =o!!! And Wyson told him to get off his flowers. Hellbound pulled out a pokeball and threw it at Wyson. Blompchick jumped out and started clawing Wysons face off with her fingernails. Hellbound shouted GO MUDKIPZ!!!1!!1
A guy in Dharoks stood by and said the hell....
Then Jss came in with dragon claws and killed the dharoks guy.
IM SO [BEEP]ING CRAZY! BLAHAHAHAHAHA! He then skipped off happily.


Blompty was talking into a tape.
‘’Delta operation 1 769222569....hehe 69’’ he said
Erm excuse me said a voice from behind Blompty.
What? I’m very busy exacting revenge on the sandwich ladie. I heard she was making an appearance in Falador today.’’ Shouted Blompty.
A dwarf stood there, intimiadated by Blomptys awesome 1337ness.
First of all, thats not a tape player, thats a box and secondly why are you telling me my plan? Asked the dwarf
There was an awkward silence.
[BEEP] off dwarf, nobody likes you. Replied blompty


Ok said the dwarf and he ran off.
Sandwiches I skillz ur mom 1! Echoed through Falador.
Ha ha I got you now you lil [BEEP]. Said Blompty.
He aimed his glock pistol at her. ...and don’t ask why theres a glock pistol in my story. It involved butter, gerbils and a plunger. But then she disappeared
The hell...he said.
Sandwiches blompty two?!?.
Blompty turned round and saw a huge sandwich lady easily twenty feet tall.
Blompty’s face at that precise moment was not describable in words so heres a picture. Sponsored by Adam West.



user posted image


I hope you enjoyed that.
This is madness shouted blompty.
The sandwich lady smiled.
Madness? THIS IS SANDWICH!!
And with that the sandwich lady kicked him off the cliff.
CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP blompty shouted as he fell down a bottomless pit. Only his friends could save him now.


CRAPteh three

Tomas SPEED pulled out his uber massive saftey sword and slaughtered the huge red demon from raping the city of Taverly.
The druids/hippies charged him with money, and chocolate and mountain jew.
Tomas let out a hearty chuckle and then he was approached by a druid megan fox. Yes , she was megan fox but in runescape version. [BEEP]ing hawt,
Hello, im a virgin wanna change that she said to Tomas.
Tomas chuckled nervously
How old r u said Tomas.
15 she replied
Tomas ran off
Im not getting into that mess AGAIN.
Just then he saw Jss slaughtering a badger.
STOP STARING AT ME BITCHY BADGER! GARARARARARARARARARRAGGYGHFHGGGF
shouted Jss and then he jizzed himself.

Woah! whats ur problem said Tomas.
Blompty's faling into the pit of doom that was in the film ''300'' shouted jss
oh said tomas.
Guys come quick Blompchicks spazzing out shouted Hellie.
DAY-UM they said all and started dancing
So lets go save blompty said Tomas.
Why said hellie
because that what it says in the script says Tomas, See, look theres the line
really, mines completley different, mine says i have to ah, um, have a sex scene with blompchick said hellie
my script says i have to fap intensely...over...a camel...the hell said Jss.
CRAP CRAP CRA-GUYS STOP ARGUING AND [BEEP]ING SAVE ME--P CRAP CRAP
OK DAYUM they shouted back and off they went



chapteh 444/4

So Tomas, what do you like about being a hero said hellie
Tomas sighed
It's awesome. Read my warring guides blah blah blah g and a blah blah lvl 89 mage
hellie- kewl!!!!
Just then Hellies eyes started to flash black and white
Hellie-alright who the [BEEP] stepped in the grass. what did i say about stepping in the grass.
Sorry said jss and a wild pokemon jumped at Hellie.
It clawed his face off and Hellie fell to the floor in pain
QUICK, ILL SAVE U 2, SO YOU ESCAPE SAFELY
hellie-how do i escape safely?
MOVE THE D PAD IN THE LITTLE MENU AND CLICK RUN, SINCE ITS A BULBASAR IT SHOULDNT BE HARD SINCE THEY HAVE LIKE, A 10 PERCENT CHANCE OF DOING ANYTHING TO YOU.
hellie- ok
got away safely
hellie-phew...holy [BEEP]
A huge silver dragon with d12 written on its stomach is floating. Jss starts to cry
Tomas speed-shut the hell up noob
Jss cries even louder
Tomas speed sigh and cracks open an mountain dew
Tomas-hey arnt you that rapper group, D12. yknow the one with Eminem in it
The dragon sighed
D12-no. just no.
Tomas-oh. u sux neeb
D12 stamps on Tomas.
there is an awkward silence spare tomas dead body twitching
hellie-so....is there a pokemon center here because blompchick needs a haircut.

Meanwhile blompty was falling down the huge pit until he caught up with a persian
blompty-hey
persian-hey
blompty-did you piss off the sandwich lady as well
persian- no i pissed off the cast of the film 300 with my nasal ear ring.
blompty-oh....now you mention it, that is pretty gross
persian-yeah, man my stomach hurts where he kicked it.
blompty-and it kinda makes you wonder why there was a huge bottomless pit, in like a patio and why there are no guidelines or anything.
persian-your right, i mean, they should have at least put a railing and a gate for me and you
Blompty-yeah. well nice talking to you
persian- c ya
blompty fell faster
persian-what a nice guy.


chapter six

Hellie, Jss (a recentley spawned) Tomas and D12 the dragon stood in front of a huge bottomless pit.
Tomas-soooo....anyone got any ideas
Jss- IMA KILL IT
jss runs into the pit and starts and fall
jss- CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP....
hellie-this just makes things even MORE difficult
D12-dont worry guys, im a dragon i can fly down and get them
Tomas- yeah, oh boy this is gonna be the best summer ever
Hellie and Tomas start dancing
D12 FLYS INTO PIT AND RESCUSES BLOMPTY AND JSS.
tomas-wow, I thought there might be somer repurcussions or some [BEEP] like that, but everything turned out just fine.
Blompty- WHO R U PEOPLE?!
just the a 20 feet sandwich lady popped out
Sandwich lady-What, Blompty, howd u get out of my pit
Blompty points at hellie, jss etc
Blompty-it was them
Blompty runs off , squealing like a lil girl,
Awkward silence
Jss-i'd just like to point out right now that my script says i have to fap over that shrub over there.
sandwich lady- SILENCE! You must all die
Tomas- but you see with the power of our friend and family we can all...IMSO!
Imso runs on, stabs sandwich lady in the shin and runs back to gwd
Tomas-he's so dreamy.... :wub:
Sandwich lady starts to melt...
sandwich-u fools! look whatve uve done, u ruined the whole of runescape.
hellie-wat?
sandwich lady groans and dies
Blompty is hiding behind a rock
Blompty-did you guys kill her yet
A huge ripping noise is heard from the sky and a huge black hole is seen. Stuff starts being sucked into it.
jss- i dont know whats going on here, so heres stephen hawking here to explan
Stephen h comes along in a wheelchair
Stephen h- so u see...killing the sandwich lady opened a hole in the space time conitnuum
jss-ooh, now do the robot.
stephen-i cant , im paraysed
jss-ill teach u to shout at me
stephen h- i cant shout, i use a voicebox to talk
JSS- :| ... :angry:
jss kickes stephen hawking into the bottomless pit
Just then the huge city of falador is sucked into the sky hole. Everyone is terrified exept Blompty.
Blompty- well, we're boned.

2 B continued :woot:

Donovan Kays - August 11, 2009 09:55 PM (GMT)
lmfao!!!! make more :0 :0

stingster2 - August 11, 2009 10:02 PM (GMT)
awesome man u finaly made a post great to know

Hellbound487 - August 11, 2009 11:35 PM (GMT)
you make me help blompty in his adventure pl0x? and have blomchick too

Jss - August 12, 2009 01:05 PM (GMT)
lol. put me in next 1 pl0x my skills are: dieing, EXTREME noobishness, destroying naruto o14 :P , and just being Jss and doing wut i do :sunglasses:

Tom - August 12, 2009 01:35 PM (GMT)
Nice Blomp, Nice :)

My skills include: Faking my own death to avoid randoms, jack myself on montain dew, and spamming Kevin is a nobo.

Also i love mocking jss for his "noobness" and spy/stalk on imso when hes not watching.

blompty - August 12, 2009 01:51 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Tom @ Aug 12 2009, 08:35 AM)
Nice Blomp, Nice :)

My skills include: Faking my own death to avoid randoms, jack myself on montain dew, and spamming Kevin is a nobo.

Also i love mocking jss for his "noobness" and spy/stalk on imso when hes not watching.

Youll be in chapter three k :party: :yes: :yes:

Tom - August 12, 2009 02:18 PM (GMT)
Seems like this "Blomp" got owned by the sanduich megazord. Maybe we should just join AL in pwn her [BEEP] :P

Nice story blomp :)

Looking foward for the next :sunglasses:

blompty - August 23, 2009 03:31 PM (GMT)
chapter 4 aDDED

Dude12dragon - August 23, 2009 04:56 PM (GMT)
omfg lmfao that was funny the megan fox part was the best ;) can tomas be taken out of that part and me be put in :) jk good story blom EDIT Pwnage story blom make more pl0x?

Tom - August 23, 2009 05:01 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (Dude12dragon @ Aug 23 2009, 11:56 AM)
omfg lmfao that was funny the megan fox part was the best ;) can tomas be taken out of that part and me be put in :) jk good story blom EDIT Pwnage story blom make more pl0x?

No... :P

Lol i rly loled at this part...

QUOTE
How old r u said Tomas.
15 she replied
Tomas ran off
Im not getting into that mess AGAIN.
:lol:

Jss - August 25, 2009 12:34 PM (GMT)
QUOTE (blompty @ Aug 11 2009, 04:09 PM)

jss- i dont know whats going on here, so heres stephen hawking here to explan
Stephen h comes along in a wheelchair
Stephen h- so u see...killing the sandwich lady opened a hole in the space time conitnuum
jss-ooh, now do the robot.
stephen-i cant , im paraysed
jss-ill teach u to shout at me
stephen h- i cant shout, i use a voicebox to talk
JSS- :| ... :angry:
jss kickes stephen hawking into the bottomless pit

i are a murderererererer? i kill the dude who invented the... something? :P




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