||Oh Campbeltown Loch, I wish you were whisky!
Campbeltown Loch, Och Aye!
Oh Campbeltown Loch, I wish ye were whisky!
I wid drink ye dry.
Now Campbeltown Loch is a beautiful place,
But the price of the whisky is grim.
How nice it would be if the whisky was free
And the Loch was filled up to the brim.
I'd buy a yacht with the money I've got
And I'd anchor it out in the bay.
If I wanted a nip I'd go in for a dip.
I'd be swimmin' by night and by day!
We'd have a gathering of the clans.
They'd come from near and far.
I can see them grin as they're wading in
And shouting "Slàinte mhòr!".
But what if the boat should overturn
And drowned in the Loch was I?
You'd hear me shout, you'd hear me call out
"What a wonderful way to die !"
But what's this I see, ochone for me
It's a vision to make your blood freeze.
It's the polis afloat in a dirty big boat
And they're shouting: "Time, gentlemen, please!"
|| Best newcomer Round 3.0
Sergeant: What? Have you no read jihadi infantry manual number four-fourseven-nine-one-six-five-three?
Inshallah! The infidel shall be attacked at the rising ay the sun and at its
setting. And when he unpacks his decadent western sunblock.